


That's What Friends Are For

by NatashaCole



Category: Louden Swain RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-02-11 15:52:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 67,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12938592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatashaCole/pseuds/NatashaCole
Summary: Over the span of a few years, Reader has found a job she loves and a group of friends that have become her family. She is especially protective over Rob, the man who has become one of her best friends, and the one person that she would do just about anything for. You can imagine her devastation when the woman that Rob is supposed to marry breaks his heart, ultimately sending him through a whirlwind of emotions and bad choices. Reader is only trying to be there for her friend, and she seems to be the only thing consoling him lately. In the meantime, everyone else is looking at their friendship from completely different angles; and maybe, they’re reading the situation all wrong.





	1. Anything You Need

Another weekend, another con. Truthfully, you were excited to be back to work on the circuit. It had been a long time since you were able to be in attendance since you were working so much on Supernatural. It was nice to be around Jared, Jensen, and Misha all the time; but you had also formed strong bonds with everyone else who was a part of the show, and you hadn’t even shared scenes together.

Your best friend, Rob, was the one you missed most. The two of you were quite the pair. You shared many of the same interests, had similar senses of humor, and were both equally awkward. When you were nervous at your first convention, it was him who made you feel more relaxed and at home. It had been three years since your first con. Now, it was all very natural to you. You were at ease on stage and even more at ease when you were able to sing with Rob onstage during the concerts.

It was one of the most profound similarities between the two of you; your love of music. You both played guitar and wrote songs, and you could sit for hours discussing your favorite bands in great detail.

Even more than all of that, the two of you were always there for each other. You were each other’s biggest fans, and you constantly encouraged each other. He was there for you when you played your first solo show, opening for Louden Swain at a small venue in L.A., and you had been there for him when he decided it was time to propose to his long-time girlfriend, Julia.

He was always a nervous wreck, but even moreso when it came to popping the question. He had been a mess for days leading up to that moment, and you had done all you could to talk him through it. He was your best friend, and you wanted to see him happy and settled down, and Julia was worth it. The two of them just made sense, and you only hoped Rob wouldn’t screw this up with her.

In the end, it all went well. He had followed your advice, asked her to marry him, and she accepted. For the past few months, the two of them planned their wedding and Rob seemed more in love than ever.

You hadn’t seen him in a few weeks, and you were anxious to meet up so that you could get the scoop on how the wedding plans were coming along. The last time you had talked to Julia, she had excitedly talked about the venue and her dress. She was just as excited as Rob was to finally be married, God knows the man needed the stability in his life. You were so happy for him, and you wanted to remain involved in the happiest day of his life.

* * *

You arrived to your room at the hotel, setting down your suitcase and flopping down on the bed to relax for a bit. You had been in the middle of texting Rich, who was planning a time for everyone to get together for dinner. You had shot Rob a text when you landed, but he had left you on read, so you ignored him, figuring that he was busy with something.

After a long exchange, Rich finally gave you a place and time to meet up; so you quickly got ready, realizing that dinner was happening sooner than you expected.

When you got to the restaurant, you greeted everyone with hugs. It had been far too long since you got to hang out with them. When you spotted Rob, you moved in quickly to hug him. He held onto you for longer than usual, not saying much and you immediately knew something was up. You decided to not bring up how off he seemed, and you sat next to him as you all immediately fell into your usual conversations and jokes.

Throughout dinner, you realized that Rob was a lot quieter than usual. He kept to himself, not even cracking a smile the entire time.

“Are you okay?” You mouthed to him as you placed your hand on his arm. You had finally decided to check on him, trying not to draw attention to the fact that you knew something was wrong.

“I’m fine,” he mouthed back. He put a hand over yours, offering you a forced smile. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said softly.

“Me too,” you replied, “I missed you guys.”

You returned your focus back to the conversation, still not feeling positive that he was okay. You figured it was best not to push the issue right now though. You were sure he’d confide in you when he was ready.

After dinner, the group headed out for drinks. It was a usual night out before the con weekend, and you were feeling more at home than ever. You had been in a state of withdrawal for weeks, missing your friends and nights like this. Now, you were able to kick back with a beer as you eased back into conversation with them.

“How has work been going?” Rich asked, referring to the show.

“Really great,” you replied, “we shot some pretty intense stuff this week, and I’m excited with where the story is going. It’s gonna be a great season.”

“I wish they’d bring me back,” Rich frowned, “I mean, come on, alternate universes? It’s got to happen, right?”

“I could only hope so,” you chuckled, “it also leaves the door wide open for Chuck.” You elbowed Rob lightly, smiling at him. He had been sitting there, strangely quiet the entire time and you had suddenly stirred him from whatever thoughts he was having.

“Oh, yeah,” he mumbled, “that would be awesome.”

“Another round guys?” Matt asked, pointing at everyone at the table.

“Always,” Rich said, “I’ll help.”

The two left to get more drinks and you noticed everyone else was otherwise engaged in their own conversations, leaving you and Rob basically alone.

“Hey,” you began, eager to get to what was bothering him, “are you sure you’re okay?”

“What? Yeah, I’m fine Y/N. Really, I’m just… off today.”

“I can tell, you haven’t said two words to me and I’m waiting to hear about how the wedding stuff is going. I’m so excited for you.”

Rob gave you a weak smile then. Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he tried to talk, “About that- I don’t think-”

“Beer!” Matt shouted, cutting Rob off. He placed a handful of drinks on the table, Rich doing the same.

You eyed Rob, knowing now that something really was bothering him. It wasn’t just an off day. He didn’t finish his thought though, obviously uncomfortable now that the others were back. He took a long drink of his beer and didn’t say another word.

You decided to drop it again, understanding that he wanted to talk, but not to anyone else.

For the rest of the night, you continued to catch up with your friends; laughing and drinking, still very aware of Rob’s behavior.

When it was time to call it a night, you and Rob decided to walk back to the rooms together, leaving everyone else to keep drinking. You walked to the hotel in silence, waiting for him to bring it up this time. By the time you got off the elevator and began to walk down the hallway, he still hadn’t said a word. You decided to try again, now feeling really worried about him.

“What’s going on, Rob?”

He cleared his throat again, looking really upset now that you had brought it up again.

“Something’s wrong,” you continued, “I know you better than anyone, and I can tell something is wrong.”

“The wedding isn’t happening,” he choked out finally. You had stopped in front of his room and you felt your heart sink as he said it.

“What? Why?”

“I called off the engagement. Julia and I are over.”

“Oh Jesus,” you whispered, feeling yourself get choked up. “What happened?”

“It’s been a rough week,” he muttered. He averted his gaze from you, staring down at the floor now and you noticed tears falling down his cheek.

“Oh, please don’t cry,” you reached up to wipe his tears away.

“I went home early from the studio on Tuesday,” he began, “I walked in on her with someone else.”

You didn’t know what to say, all you could do was gasp in surprise at the idea that she could have cheated on Robbie of all people.

“I had a feeling it was going on,” he continued, “I just knew. I just didn’t think I’d catch her.”

“This has been going on?” You asked, still shocked. You had just talked to her last weekend and she seemed so excited about her and Rob’s wedding. Right now, you were fuming. Angry for what she had done, hurting for what Rob was going through.

“Yeah, it has. She was going to marry me anyway. She said she didn’t want me to find out, and that it was going to end when we got married.”

“Oh god.”

“Can you believe that?” He asked, crying harder now. “She cheated on me, and she was going to let me marry her.”

“You ended it?”

“I’m so stupid!” He shouted. “I knew it was going on… for so long, and I ignored it. I had to end it when I caught them. Did I make a mistake? Am I giving up on the only one who could ever love me?”

You did the only thing you could think of; you wrapped your arms around him, holding him as he let himself cry on your shoulder. You had never seen Rob like this and you were in pain over seeing him this way. You really thought the two of them were so perfect together, everyone did. You had all grown to love her just as much as you loved each other. She always seemed so smitten with Rob, and for once, you believed he had found what he needed in his life. He was supposed to have his happily ever after. Now, she had ruined that. She had done the unforgivable. You also realized how strong Rob really was, even if he was sobbing into your shoulder right now. He had ended things, which you honestly couldn’t believe. He loved her so much, he went on and on about how wonderful she was. You were impressed that he was able to let her go after what she had done though, because sometimes, you didn’t think Robbie had it in him to let go of someone he loved even if they did something terrible. In fact, he had stayed by your side through a lot of things that you shouldn’t have done.

It was his weakness really. He cared too much and he let people get away with too much. Right now, you were proud of him.

“You are not stupid,” you said firmly, rubbing circles along his back. “I’m so glad you ended it. Cheaters never stop cheating Robbie. If you had stayed and married her, you’d be so miserable.”

“I love her,” he mumbled, “so much, even after what she did. It hurts so fucking much.”

You squeezed him tighter, feeling tears fall down your face now. This wasn’t fair. How could anyone hurt this man?

“I’m so sorry,” you replied, not knowing if you could even say anything to comfort him. This was beyond your skills as a friend. You honestly didn’t know how to handle it.

He pulled back from you slowly, trying to gain his composure. You were really worried. You had known Rob for years and spent so much time with him, but you had never seen him like this. He wiped his face with the back of his hand, breathing heavily.

“I’m just- so tired,” he said with a fake laugh. “This is a lot to deal with, and I’m humiliated and hurt. I’ve been keeping it in for a while, but it felt good to talk to someone finally.”

“You told Rich, right?” You asked, knowing they were even closer friends. It would make sense that he talked to Rich first.

Rob shook his head, “You’re the only one who knows. I think telling Rich is going to be hard.”

You recalled how it had been Rich and his wife who had set Rob and Julia up in the first place. They were all friends, and Rob seemed so uncomfortable over the idea of telling his best friend that the girl he set Rob up with had just destroyed his heart.

“Robbie,” you said softly, “I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve this. You’re too good for this. I don’t know what I can do for you. I’m at such a loss… she had me fooled.”

“She had a lot of us fooled,” he chuckled.

“Go to bed, try to sleep,” you said, “maybe you’ll feel a little better in the morning.”

“You’re right,” he fumbled for his key card in his pocket for a moment before finally retrieving it. You watched him unlock his door, hands shaking more than usual. Once he had his door open, he stood there in the doorway, giving you another forced smile.

You instinctively moved in to hug him again and you felt him let out a deep sigh against your ear, holding you tighter than he ever had before.

“Good night sweetie,” you said as you pulled back. You took his hand in yours, giving it a firm squeeze. “If you need to talk more, you know you can call me or find me at anytime.”

“I know,” he said. You gave him a smile and went to move away from him, but he kept a firm grasp on your hand. You stopped, looking down at your hands, wondering why he wouldn’t let go.

“Stay with me,” he said, voice cracking again. You knew he wasn’t done crying, and he was a mess. You were sure the alcohol wasn’t helping the situation tonight.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? You’re my best friend. I just- I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

You considered what he was asking. Surely, there had been a few nights when one of you crashed in the other’s room, usually after a night of drinking. Nothing ever happened, because that wasn’t what your relationship was. You had often cuddled together in bed, watching movies and talking. It was nice to have a friendship like that with someone who didn’t push for something more. You were very comfortable with him, and he was comfortable with you.

All of that had ended when he started dating Julia though. It was no longer appropriate and you both understood boundaries and respected the other enough to know that you couldn’t behave like that when one of you was dating someone. It had been a long time since you had stayed the night with him. Right now, he needed someone to be there. You were grateful that he trusted you enough to know that you were that person.

“Okay,” you replied. “Anything you need, Robbie.” He let go of your hand and you followed him in, hoping that you could comfort him enough for him to be able to get some rest tonight.

“Thank you Y/N,” he said, giving you a smile despite the fact that he was obviously devastated. Seeing him like this hurt, and you hated that he had to go through it. In the end, you would do anything for him, and you usually did if he asked. You figured that one night sleeping in the same room with him was nothing as long as it meant he wouldn’t have to feel so alone.

“Of course. That’s what friends are for.”


	2. Not As Bad As It Looks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has a hard time saying no to Rob.

Neither of you had set alarms for the following morning. You only woke up when you noticed the sun shining through the curtains that you had forgotten to close last night. You groaned, still feeling exhausted. You turned to your side, caught off guard when you saw Rob lying next to you. He was sleeping soundly and it only took a moment for you to remember that you had ended up in his room last night, listening to him vent as he told you more about what had happened with Julia. Eventually, you had both fallen asleep together.

You reached for your phone, noting that it was still fairly early, but you both definitely need to get up and get ready for the first day of con. You reached over, nudging him softly to try to wake him. He stirred slightly, so you grabbed his arm, shaking him a bit more until his eyes slowly opened. He looked over at you and smiled slightly.

“Hey,” he said, voice cracked with sleep.

“Hey sweetie,” you replied. You felt your heart break all over again for him as you recalled last night. You reached up, running your hand along his jaw softly. “We need to get up. We’ve got a couple of hours before we need to be at the convention.”

“Okay,” he replied, sighing heavily.

“You gonna be okay today?”

“I’m a very good actor.”

“You are,” you chuckled, knowing that he was going to pretend that nothing had happened. You weren’t sure when he would say anything to anyone else, but you hoped it would be soon, for his own sake. You knew there would be discussion and questions over his engagement, there always was at conventions, especially when it was getting close to when it was actually supposed to happen.

“Hey, can you maybe not say anything to anyone?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Thank you, I’d rather stew in my humiliation on my own for a while.”

“You you have no reason to feel humiliated,” you said. “You’re not the one who cheated. You’re a good man, and she made such a terrible mistake hurting you like that.”

“I know, I still feel like an idiot though. I’m embarrassed because I knew, and I did nothing until I actually caught them.”

“You don’t deserve this,” you said as you moved closer to him. You wrapped your arm around him, trying to offer him all the comfort that you could.

“Thank you,” he whispered, “I knew you could make me feel a little better.”

“I love you Robbie. I’m here for you. Anything you need, you just ask. Want me to punch her in the throat? I’m your girl. Need a drinking buddy? You know it’s me.”

Rob laughed finally, and honest and true laugh at your offer.

“You’re a good friend.”

“That’s what I do,” you replied. “Why don’t you get showered? I’m gonna head back to my room and get ready too. I’ll meet you at the convention and I promise to bring coffee.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” he said with a smile.

“Anything for you.”

You quickly put your shoes on, heading for the door as Rob made the effort to at least get out of bed. You gave him a concerned look before stepping out into the hallway.

Once outside, the door having closed behind you, you looked up, startled when you saw someone else in the hallway with you.

“Oh, jeez, Briana!” You called out, heart racing. “You scared me.”

“Sorry,” she replied. You saw her look at you, back to the door that you had just exited, and then back to you again. “Is that Rob’s room?”

“Yeah,” you replied.

“Maybe it’s not my business, but why are you leaving his room this early in the morning?”

“Oh, no,” you chuckled, realizing now that this probably looked really bad. “I just slept here. Um, he had kind of a rough night.” You stopped yourself short, remembering that it wasn’t your place to tell anyone what had Rob such a mess lately. He had specifically asked you to keep quiet, and you had promised to do just that.

You hoped Briana would just drop it. After all, it’s not like everyone didn’t know that there had been times you had stayed in each other’s hotel rooms, or even at each other’s houses back home. Most of your friends had given the two of you enough crap in the beginning over how close you and Rob were. They were either convinced that you were more than friends or that maybe you should be more than friends. You and Rob obviously never went there with each other, you were too good of friends to even consider complicating things. After some time, the teasing and such had been dropped, mostly after Rob had met Julia and the two of you agreed to dial back your relationship since no one else really understood it.

This however, looked kind of bad. As far as anyone else knew, Rob was still very much engaged to someone who wasn’t you. Currently, you were leaving his hotel room early in the morning, still dressed in your clothes from last night.

“Rough night?” Briana asked.

“I mean, you know Rob, drank too much and by the time I got him back here, he could barely stand,” you somewhat lied. “Just ended up crashing on the couch because it was so late.”

“Oh,” she responded. She gave you a strange look, almost as if she were trying to judge whether or not you were telling the truth. Her stare made you uneasy and embarrassed. The last thing you wanted was for anyone to think what you knew she was thinking. The idea of it was almost too much for you to handle and you nearly considered telling her the truth to save your own skin. Your need to remain loyal to Rob and his wishes however, won out. All you could do was say goodbye to Briana before you practically raced to your own room.

You got ready quickly; showering and getting dressed; spending little time on your makeup and hair. You had nearly forgotten the way Briana had looked at you when you left Rob’s room; right now, the only thing on your mind was Rob himself. You were still pained over what he must be going through right now, and you only wished you could do something to take that pain away.

* * *

You had made your way down to the convention, stopping along the way to grab two coffees before you went to the green room. You sat at the table, waiting on Rob while others began to slowly trickle into the room. The rest of the band was here, along with Rich, and Briana had shown up. You couldn’t help but notice the way she was looking at you again. You avoided her stare, still feeling slightly embarrassed that she had seen you leave Rob’s room. You knew that nothing had happened, but you felt as if she thought otherwise.

Rob finally shuffled into the room; feet dragging and looking exhausted. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days, and you were sure he probably hadn’t considering the fact that both of you had gotten maybe four hours last night. You pursed your lips at him as he trudged toward you. You immediately handed him his coffee as he bent down to kiss the top of your head.

“My hero,” he muttered as he took the cup from you.

“I always come through,” you replied as he took a seat next to you.

“You sure do.”

“You okay?” You asked, still feeling the need to check in on him. He shrugged, looking sad again as you brought it up.

“Hey,” you began, “maybe it’s a good idea for you to think about telling people. I mean, for your own sake.”  
“Y/N, I ‘m not telling anyone yet. Please don’t push me into doing that right now.”

“You’re seriously not going to say anything?” You asked. “You’re going to keep going a little longer, letting everyone think that things are okay?”

“I just- I can’t deal with this right now.”

“I understand that, I really do. But, you’ll have to deal with it eventually.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Fine, but you know you’ll be getting questions and comments about the engagement this weekend. You always do. Are you sure you’re going to be able to keep it together now?”

“I’m not sure, but I can try.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Yet, you still love me,” he smiled.

* * *

The rest of the day went rather smoothly. Just as expected, a curious fan had brought up the engagement during the guys’ panel. You watched from the side, heart aching again when you could swear you saw Rob’s face drop at the mention of it. He recovered quickly though, and you hated that he was playing it all off as if nothing happened. He went on about how happy he was and how excited he was to get married. You made a mental note to talk to him again about it, knowing that he was only digging the hole deeper for himself. It was all going to hurt a whole lot more when he finally told the truth.

You focused mainly on making sure that he knew you were there for for him. You joked with him and found comfort in the fact that you could still bring a smile out of him.

Meanwhile, the others were talking. You never overheard entire conversations, just whispers about how different Rob seemed today. He was obviously sad, and everyone noticed that something was bothering him.

At the end of the day, you sat in the green room, playing with your phone when Ruth found you. She sat with you, a forced smile on her face and you put your phone down to greet her.

“What’s going on with you and Rob?” She asked.

“What do you mean? Nothing is going on with us.”

“You’re attached at the hip again. Haven’t seen the two of you this close since before he got engaged.”

“He’s my best friend, I don’t see how our closeness is so surprising for anyone.” You were slightly annoyed. Your close relationship with him was never a concern before.

“It’s just surprising when someone says that they saw you leaving his room this morning.”

You rolled your eyes at the audacity of it all. For god’s sake, it wasn’t the first time you had shared a bed with the man and they all knew it.

“Nothing happened,” you said, “why is it even such an issue now?”

“Because he’s engaged,” Ruth said flatly. “He’s going to be married and you spent the night with him.”

“Look, there’s an explanation for all of this.”

“Then what is it?” She asked.

“It’s not for me to say. That’s on Rob, and he’ll explain when he’s ready.”

“Fine,” she replied, exasperated. “But, just so you know, a few of the others are already talking. I don’t think you’d like what they are saying.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it all just looks really bad.”

“Well, I don’t care how it looks,” you replied angrily. “What is Briana saying exactly? Because she’s the one who saw me leave this morning. I told her it was nothing, it’s not a big deal.”

“She says that you were in the same clothes from last night. She says that you stumbled out of his room, looking a little worse for wear.”

“This is ridiculous,” you huffed, “who has she told?”

“Mostly everyone.”

You got angry then. It was one thing to see something that maybe looked bad, but to go around telling everyone else, that was the worst of it. You might have been just fine having her think what she was thinking, but you certainly didn’t want anyone else to form their own opinions on something that they otherwise wouldn’t have known about.

“Ruth, please believe me when I say that this isn’t what it sounds like. Something happened, and I can’t say what it is, but you have to believe me.”

“I do,” she replied. “I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t hook up with a man who is taken. But, maybe you should just be careful about how close the two of you are, especially since he is taken.”

You wanted to scream it to her face that Rob was no longer taken. You wanted everyone to know that whatever thoughts they had about what was going on were wrong. More than anything though, you wanted to protect your friend. He wasn’t ready to let anyone else in on the devastation he was feeling right now. He was more fragile than usual, and you couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him more.

“Duly noted,” you said. You left it at that. You didn’t push it anymore, you didn’t try to defend yourself further. All you could do was try to be a little more careful with how close you and Rob were, at least until he was ready to let them know what had happened.

* * *

Rob didn’t attend karaoke that night, and you couldn’t blame him for it. You made an appearance at the beginning, having a good time when you eased up slightly over the fact that no one seemed to be giving you sideways glances or dirty looks. It had already been an all day thing, most of the others ignoring you. On a few occasions, you assumed they were talking about you based on the way their quiet conversations came to a halt every time you walked into the room. After a while, it stopped bothering you. They would know what had happened sooner rather than later, when Rob decided it was time for them to know his relationship was over. At least tonight everyone seemed to have forgotten about all of it as you all sang and danced on stage together.

Halfway through the event, you decided to call it a night. You snuck off, not saying anything to anyone. You mostly just wanted to leave to check on Rob. It wasn’t really like him to sit out on nights like this, and you figured he could use a friend.

You knocked on his hotel door quietly, just in case he had fallen asleep, but you were surprised when he answered almost immediately.

“Y/N,” he said, a smile forming on his face.

“I thought you’d be asleep Benedict,” you chuckled.

“I should be, but I’m having a hard time sleeping lately.”

You stood in the hallway, watching him as he stood in his room, the door propped open.

“Wanna come in?” He asked.

You felt your stomach flip at his offer. You did want to go in. You wanted to spend time with him, especially now. But, the way the others were obviously already talking about you made you think otherwise.

“Not a good idea,” you replied, “at least not tonight.”

You considered telling him about what was being said within the group. Obviously, some of your friends were thinking that the two of you were fooling around. It made you look bad and it made him look even worse. You wanted to tell him that he needed to fess up so that all of this could be stopped before it got worse. When you saw the look of sadness cross his face, you decided against it.

“You’re the only person I feel like I can talk to right now,” he began. “I don’t feel like you’re going to judge me or think I’m pathetic.”

“I don’t judge you. I’m judging her very heavily right now though.”

“The worst part is sitting around, alone all the time. I think it’s making me a little crazy.”

“Good news,” you said, “you’ve always been crazy.”

“Come in,” he said again.

You let out a heavy sigh, glancing around the hallway again to make sure no one was around. You had a hard time saying no to this man, that was evident by the many predicaments you always managed to find yourself stuck in with him.

“Just for a little while,” you replied as you stepped into the room.

* * *

You had meant to leave before karaoke was scheduled to end. But, at some point in the night; after there was more talking and tears, you found yourself lying on his bed, holding him as he finally drifted off into a deep sleep. You recalled how he had said that he hadn’t been sleeping very well, but he seemed to sleep easily with you there. You decided against moving your arm from beneath his head and the warmth of your body pressed against his. You were a comfort to him, the one friend that he actually felt okay with letting in on something that was clearly eating at him.

“I’ll just leave really early,” you said to yourself, “that way, no one will see me.”

You realized just then that you liked being here with him like this. It had been a long time since the two of you were this close, and the only reason that you were close again was because his relationship was over. You maybe secretly felt happy about it right now, which also made you feel guilty. Your friend was in pain, and here you were thinking about how nice it was to have him back like this.

In the beginning of your friendship, no one batted an eye at the idea of the two of you crashing in each other’s room, or being touchy feely, or even giving each other playful kisses. No one cared then. You knew that the fact that they all believed that Rob was still engaged changed all of that. You had both been accused of being too close at times, and now, that closeness was starting to look really bad for both of you.

You knew you needed to push Rob into telling the truth. For both of your sakes. But, that could wait for tomorrow. You felt yourself begin to doze off now, strangely comfortable here in his bed with him, wrapped up in his arms.


	3. Bandaged Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night of drinking goes too far, and Reader is trying to separate feelings from the situation.

You managed to leave Rob’s room the next morning without being seen. Rob had asked you why you were leaving so early in the morning, confused as to why you seemed to be sneaking around. You explained that you just wanted to get a head start on getting ready for the day. The last thing you wanted to do, especially since he was still a mess over the whole thing, was to let him in on what some of your friends were already saying about the two of you. Usually, it didn’t bother you if people knew how close you and Rob were, but the fact that everyone still thought he was engaged made all of this look bad. You didn’t want to give anyone a reason to think that he was a bad guy.

It was Saturday, and it was a busy day for all of you. You didn’t have much time to check in on Rob at all, no matter how badly you wanted to. Last night had been a little rough for him, and it seemed as if all of this was just getting worse. He had explained how he had wanted to call Julia, try to fix whatever it was between the two of them that had been broken. He was lonely and heartbroken, and you couldn’t stand to see him like this. 

You managed to convince him that it wasn’t a good idea. You knew that she was no good for him anymore. You had been fooled into thinking that she was a good person, you had all been fooled. Poor Rob had been fooled, and even when he was sure that something wasn’t right in the relationship, he still stuck around until he had definitive proof that she was unfaithful. You knew that he was obviously weak over her and you feared that he might go back and give her another chance, which would only result in a lot more pain for him.

After the events of the day had ended, you hung out in the green room just before SNS along with everyone else who would be performing. The band sat in a corner, going over the set list and last minute details. You still hadn’t really talked to Rob today, but as you watched him from your seat, you noticed that he seemed to be in a pretty decent mood. He was at least talking and laughing with the guys.

By the time the show was starting, you all made it backstage. You managed to pull Rob aside before they took the stage.

“Hey, I just wanted to check on you,” you said as you led him away from the rest of the group.

“Thank you,” he smiled, “I’m alright. I promise. Today was a lot better.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it.”

“You ready for this?” He asked, pulling the conversation away from the fact that he still obviously wasn’t okay.

“I am,” you replied, “I’ve always wanted to cover a Swain song.”

“You’ll be great, you always are.”

He gave you another smile as he moved in to hug you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in tightly. You put your arms around his shoulders, returning the embrace.

“Thank you for being there for me,” he said quietly against your ear. You grinned, grateful that you could be of some comfort to him. You expected the hug to end, but as you tried to pull away, his grip on you only tightened. You decided to just stay where you were until he was ready to let go. You glanced around nervously to see if anyone was watching this. You knew immediately that this long hug was only going to add more fuel to the fire. Before you could even focus too much on anyone else, you suddenly felt his lips against your neck. It caught you off-guard and you froze.

It wasn’t like any of the quick kisses he used to give you back before he got into a relationship. Those were usually given to you on your cheek or forehead. Sometimes, there were even times when he’d kiss you right on the mouth. All of those were always platonic and playful. But, right now, he was definitely mouthing at your neck, slowly and deliberately. You were surprised for sure, but you were also very suddenly overcome with a sensation that you had never had for him before. Your stomach flipped and your head buzzed at the way this felt. He began to run a hand up and down your back; and while you were pretty sure you let out an audible gasp, you pushed him away from you. He obliged, pulling back to break contact with you as he looked right into your eyes. You definitely saw how sad he looked, and you wanted to be there for him, but the last thing you needed was for anyone else to see all of this.

He said nothing as he turned from you, just in time for the band to take the stage. He left you standing there, shocked and confused as to what just happened.

* * *

The band worked through the set; joined by cast members who all took turns in covering Louden Swain songs. You stood backstage, smiling as you listened and still thinking about what had happened earlier. It was probably nothing, Rob was in a vulnerable place right now and you figured he was confused as well. Mostly, you were thinking about what it was like to have his mouth on you like that. You’d be lying if you said that it wasn’t sort of exciting. Rob was your friend. Your best friend to be exact, and you didn’t like the idea of anything ever happening between the two of you. But, that whole thing definitely threw you off.

You were lost in thought when Ruth finally broke you from your haze.

“It’s your turn Y/N,” she said as she grabbed your arm. You jumped, suddenly coming back to reality.

“What?”

“They’re calling you to the stage.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course,” you replied as you headed for the entrance.

You got on stage and took your place next to Rob, waving and smiling to the audience.

“You gonna sing with us?” Rob asked into the microphone, looking right at you.

“I am,” you replied. “I hope you don’t mind if we sing ‘Bandaged Hand’. It’s my favorite Swain song.”

The crowd cheered, and the band went right into playing as you began to sing. You sang through the song, Rob joining in now and then; it really was your favorite song by them, and you had always wanted to sing it with Rob. This was your first time doing it, and you hoped you could do the song justice.

You had purposely picked a fun, upbeat song to perform with them; and by the time you were halfway through, you were having so much fun, you couldn’t help but notice Rob smiling hard through the whole song. He played guitar as he let you take over singing, grinning at you as you got into the performance.

By the end of the song, you were breathing hard from jumping around the stage so much and laughing. Rob gave you a kiss on the cheek and told the crowd to thank you for singing. They cheered loudly as you left the stage.

* * *

After SNS was the subsequent after party. Usually, you’d all hang out in Briana’s room to drink, but this time, everyone wanted to go out instead. You all walked to a nearby bar, and that was the moment when you realized that Rob had obviously started drinking during the concert. He was stumbling slightly as you all walked, talking loudly, and in a much better mood than he had been in for days. Once inside the bar, the drinking didn’t stop. The rest of you were taking it slow, sipping on beers and chatting happily. Rob however, seemed to be going through drinks at record speed, trying to convince everyone to take shots with him. Only a few joined in, mostly leaving Rob to handling it all.

“Is Robbie okay?” Kim asked out loud. You were standing with her, Briana, Ruth, and Samantha; watching Rob and the guys.

“He’s a happy drunk,” Briana said, “I think he’s okay.”

“I mean, he’s drinking a lot,” Kim added, “he’s been drinking since the concert.”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen him drink this much before,” you replied, pursing your lips. You had seen your fair share of drunk Rob, but even tonight had you a little worried. You watched as Matt and Rich stood at the bar with him; both of them holding on to him as if they were trying to hold him up.

Before any of you could delve too much further into the topic, Rich had left Rob at the bar with Matt to come speak to you.

“Hey, someone needs to get Rob out of here,” he said, looking directly at you. “He’s wasted and he’s starting to get emotional.”

“What? Rob doesn’t get sad when he drinks,” Ruth said.

“Well, there are definitely tears now. I don’t know why, but I think he’s just had too much.”

“Why are you looking at me?” You asked, unsure of why you had to be the one to get him home.

“Because he’s asking for you,” Rich replied.

You very suddenly felt everyone’s eyes on you. It shouldn’t be such a surprise really, you were Rob’s best friend, he trusted you and the two of you were close. But, you also knew what everyone was thinking. Briana’s stare seemed to be the worst of it. You couldn’t see her staring at you, but you knew she was, and she was probably judging you.

“Fine,” you mumbled as you followed Rich to the bar.

Once you were close to Rob, you knew right away that he had gone from zero to one hundred way too fast. He could barely stand and his eyes were red and wet.

“Why are you crying?” You asked softly as you moved to put his arm around you. You wrapped your arm around his back, gripping onto his shirt so that you could help him walk.

“You know why,” he slurred.

“Fuck, you really are wasted.”

You waved the guys off as you led Rob from the bar. Once you were outside, which took some time since Rob was no help in actually walking, you propped him against the wall of the building, trying reevaluate the best way to get him back to the hotel. You tried to step back once you were fairly certain that he wouldn’t fall over.

“I’ll call a cab,” you said out loud as you reached for your phone.

“Hey,” Rob said as he watched you, “come here.”

“What?”

“Come here,” he demanded, “will you please just come here?”

He looked so sad, and you knew that the alcohol was only magnifying the situation. You moved back to him so that you were standing just a foot away from him, still fumbling with your phone to find a cab company, no easy feat considering the fact that you were slightly tipsy yourself. Before you could even focus on your screen, Rob grabbed you and yanked you closer to him.

“What-?” You shouted as you tried to keep your balance.

Before you could finish speaking, Rob had his lips on yours. He kissed you; it was sloppy and he immediately went for tongue. You could taste the alcohol in his mouth, and he continued to sway as he tried to stand on his own. Normally, you would push away any man who tried to kiss you like this, but for some reason, you couldn’t push him away. He got brave and turned the two of you so that he could now press you against the wall, nearly falling over as he suddenly didn’t have the support of the wall against his back. You grabbed onto his waist to help keep him upright and he pressed into you as he continued to kiss you. You should have pushed him away, you were sober enough to know that. He was drunk and acting without thinking. Again, the feel of his lips on you had you feeling differently than you had ever felt with him before, even if he was too drunk to know what he was doing.

It’s not that the kiss was amazing by any means; it was sloppy and heated, but it also felt sort of nice that he chose you right now. He could easily have any girl as a drunken, post-breakup hookup; but he was obviously choosing you. It also made you feel better knowing that he wasn’t out there trying to forget about Julia with some stranger that could turn out to be bad news. At the same time, you felt bad that things had even gotten to this point. He was hurting and reacting without thinking. And, you couldn’t help but feel as if you were taking advantage of that right now. When your guilt overcame the fact that this sort of felt nice, you pushed him away from you. You kept a tight grip on him but ended the kiss.

“Rob, you don’t want to do that,” you said.

“That was nice,” he slurred again, “I like kissing you.”

“You’re drunk and you won’t even remember this tomorrow.”

You pulled yourself together and decided to attempt to drag him on the two block walk back to the hotel instead of calling a cab.

“I just want to forget,” he mumbled.

“I know you do. But, this isn’t the way to deal with it.”

You walked in silence for some time; you mostly dragging Rob along best you could. The walk that should have taken just a few minutes took a whole lot longer, and it was fairly late by the time you got Rob to his room finally. You put him in bed as you removed his shoes; placing a bottle of water next to his bed, knowing that he’d need it when he woke up.

“Just call if you need anything,” you told him. You frowned as you looked down at him, your heart breaking when you saw the tears well up in his eyes again. He let out a frustrated sigh, as he attempted to hold back from crying again.

“Will you please just stay with me?” He asked, voice cracking.

“Robbie, that’s not a good idea,” you replied as you brushed a hand across his forehead, “I’m not always going to be around to keep you company.”

“But you are now,” he sniffled.

“I’m going to my own room,” you said firmly, “get some rest, you’re gonna feel like shit when you wake up.”

You started to walk away and he grabbed your hand. You stopped, still feeling that ache in your chest just knowing how hurt he was. You turned back to look at him, torn by the look on his face.

“Please,” he said softly, “I just don’t wanna be alone.”

“Dammit, Rob,” you mumbled. You knew you couldn’t turn him down, not with the way he was looking at you. You wanted to tell him that it wasn’t a good idea for you to stay because your friends were less than impressed. You wanted to tell him that he at least needed to come clean about his breakup, so this would all look less bad for you. But you still couldn’t find it in you to bring up the fact that you were feeling like a horrible person because of what people were thinking about you in all of this. He was a lot worse off, and you never wanted to make this about you. You kicked your shoes off and climbed into the bed next to him, letting him cuddle up next to you.

“I’m sorry I kissed you,” he muttered.

“It’s okay Rob.”

“Was nice though.”

You chuckled, thinking about that kiss now. Before you could say anything else, Rob began to snore, passed out with his arm draped over you. You smiled, feeling your head begin to swim as you realized that you too were still buzzed.

You knew this whole thing needed to be addressed. The way he had kissed your neck before the concert, the fact that he had kissed you outside of the bar… none of that should have happened. You loved Rob, you really did. He was your best friend. No matter how good it felt to have him kiss you, you knew that things had gone too far. The last thing you wanted to do was risk your friendship over the fact that you sort of enjoyed having him kiss you. You wondered if he had done all of that strictly because he was feeling so confused and angry over his breakup. That was probably it, whatever you were feeling now was ridiculous. Friends don’t act this way with each other, and you knew that Rob was only being like this because you just happened to be the one person who was closest to him. You were comforting to him and he trusted you. But, even you knew that, right now, this sort of stuff couldn’t continue to happen. You knew that you couldn’t be the band aid to cover up the wound.


	4. The Rebound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob is looking for a rebound. Reader just happens to be the only one he trusts.

The remainder of the weekend went slightly better. Rob struggled through Sunday, hungover and not even bringing up what had happened outside of the bar. When you woke up that morning, you made sure to get him up and going for the day before you hastily snuck off back to your own room. The last thing you needed was for anyone to catch you leaving again, and you had gotten pretty lucky on most days.

In all honesty, the worst part of it all was that Rob acted as if nothing had happened; or maybe he really had been that drunk that he didn’t remember anything. You decided against mentioning it, given how big of a mess he was currently. Still, the thought of him kissing you didn’t leave your mind. You tried to forget the events from last night, but even in the drunken haze of everything that happened, the kiss had been nice. You never thought about kissing your best friend, and the fact that he had made the move left you wondering why he had done it.

By the end of Sunday, you and Rob hadn’t said hardly a word to each other. You mostly didn’t know what to say to him as you watched him continue to mope and hurt, his feelings amplified by the hangover. You didn’t know what was going on in his mind, but you did know that he was out of sorts. Maybe he didn’t know how to approach the situation. Maybe he didn’t know how to apologize. Or, maybe he wanted to pretend that it never happened.

You decided to not push him. You had a lot of questions, but you knew he was in no condition to deal with them right now.

* * *

Back in L.A. you were thrilled to have some time off. You spent a couple of days catching up on your favorite shows and basically lounging around the house. You had considered texting Rob a few times; wondering what he was up to and, most importantly, how he was doing. The breakup had happened some time ago and he still hadn’t said anything to anyone else about it. You knew it must be eating at him, but you didn’t know what else you could do to get him to open up. You were worried about him, knowing that he maybe wasn’t handling things as well as you hoped he would. But, all you could do was wait for him to be ready to come to you again.

By Wednesday evening, he had done just that. A couple days of not talking to you must have done him some good, because he was finally calling you. You eagerly answered his call, hoping that you might hear the same old Rob on the other end of the phone.

“Hey, Y/N,” Rob greeted you, almost happily. “What are you up to tonight?”

“I’ve been a bum,” you replied with a smile, “so, I don’t really have plans.”

“Movie night?”

You grinned as he offered, realizing just how much you had missed your hangouts. Time spent together was far and few in between since he had met Julia, and you greatly enjoyed hanging out with him.

“That sounds great.”

“You bring the beer and I’ll order takeout,” he said, “wanna come over around six?”

“I’ll be there,” you replied.

* * *

You arrived at Rob’s place with the beer that you had been told to bring, greeting him as he opened the door.

“Party’s here,” you said with a grin.

“Come in,” he chuckled, moving aside to let you through the door. “Takeout just arrived, so you’re right on time.”

“Oh good, I’m starving.”

You plopped down on the couch, immediately opening one of the beers as you helped yourself to the food. Rob joined you, turning on the TV.

“Netflix and chill,” he said as he quickly found a random movie for the two of you to watch. You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure of what he meant by the joke.

“I don’t think that means what you think it means,” you pointed out. He always was really bad with popular phrases, and you assumed this one was no different. He only smirked at you as he kicked back with his beer.

About halfway through the movie, Rob put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. You snuggled against him, happy to be close with him again. There was a time when no one would have thought this would be weird, and you really missed that time. You let him hold you, grateful to have your best friend back, and grateful to know that things weren’t awkward after the way he had kissed you before.

During a particularly boring part of the random movie he had picked, you were a bit thrown off as he nuzzled his face against your neck and you felt his lips against your skin. Your heart raced, suddenly aware that it was happening again. It’s not that it felt bad or anything, you actually enjoyed the feeling, but you also didn’t understand why he was doing this.

“Rob,” you began, “What are you doing?”

“I’m kissing you,” he muttered against your skin.

“Yeah, I get that… but, why?”

“Because I want to.”

“You know,” you said, “you kissed me at the last convention.”

“I know.”

“You remember that?”

“I know what happened, Y/N,” he chuckled.

“Do you? I was beginning to think that you were so drunk, you forgot.”

“No. I remember it all.”

“We’ve never kissed, ever. I never thought about kissing you because you’re my friend. That was… weird.”

“Was it?”

“I mean, you were pretty wasted.”

“Maybe I can get a re-do.”

“Excuse me?”

“Maybe I can try again. Now that I’m not wasted.”

“Robbie, what are you talking about?”

He moved closer to you, the arm draped over your shoulders leading you in closer to him. He tilted his head down to you and you stiffened, unsure of what he was doing and unsure of what you should do. You didn’t turn away though, not when his lips were dangerously close to your own, his breath hot against your skin, those blue eyes searching yours for a hint of hesitation. You knew he was gauging your reaction, wondering if this was okay. You also knew that this probably wasn’t a good idea, but even you had to admit that you sort of wanted him to kiss you again. You wanted to know what it would be like now that you were both sober and he was single. You tried not to remind yourself that he was in a lot of pain, it was still evident in his eyes when he looked at you. You were quite possibly going to be something that you knew you didn’t want to be.

When you didn’t stop him, he let his lips find yours finally. You stopped breathing for a moment; surprised at how soft his lips were against yours, taken aback at how good this felt already. He attempted to let his tongue slip past your lips and you eagerly parted them to allow him to do so. He deepened the kiss and you couldn’t help but moan against his mouth. You immediately felt bad, knowing that things shouldn’t be headed in this direction. Not between the two of you.

Soon, his hands were working. He let one of them cup your face, pulling you in closer as he continued to taste you. His hand worked it’s way down, his fingers tracing down your neck and chest until he came to your waist. You were so caught up in kissing him, you didn’t even realize what he was doing with his hand until he was suddenly working it up your shirt, gliding it up against your bare skin.

You sucked in a breath, startled when you noticed that he had stopped just below your breast. You pulled back from him suddenly, breaking the kiss as you questioned him with a glance.

“I just want to forget,” he mumbled. “I think you could make me forget.”

“We’re friends,” you reminded him, trying to convince yourself that it was a bad idea to let this go on. He gently ran his thumb against your skin, not moving away as he watched you.

“Which is why I trust you more than anyone.”

“What are you doing?”

“I just want to be with you,” he replied. He leaned down to kiss your neck, the same way that he had before the concert last weekend. You closed your eyes, overcome with how good it felt to be with him like this… how right it felt. Still, you felt as if this couldn’t happen.

“This is a bad idea,’ you whispered. “Can we talk about this?”

“Talk,” he demanded, still working at your neck. You pushed him away, giggling uncomfortably at his insistence.

“What is going on here?”

“What?” He shrugged. “I’m single, you’re single… I thought I’d try my luck.”

“Why though? You’re devastated over the whole Julia thing and now you’re trying to get in my pants? What is going on with you?”

“I’m not devastated,” he replied, giving you an unamused look. “I’m fine.”

“Really? Is that why you still haven’t told anyone else about the breakup?”

“It’s no one’s business.”

“I get that, but you’re leading everyone into believing that you’re still in a relationship. Not to mention you’ve been drinking yourself into oblivion. This isn’t healthy.”

“Look, if you want me to back off, just tell me,” he said as he studied you for a moment, waiting for you to maybe tell him to stop. “I’m still a gentleman and I can take a hint.”

“I didn’t- I didn’t say that I wanted you to back off…” you mumbled.

“Then this is okay?” He asked as he pressed his lips to yours again. You let him kiss you again, still feeling a sense of excitement. Yes, he was your friend, and you had never really thought of him as more than that. But, you also couldn’t deny that he was an attractive man. He made you laugh, made you feel happy to be around him, he made you feel comfortable. There may have been some moments when you wondered what it would be like to be with him, and maybe you had felt a twinge of jealousy when Julia became a huge part of his life. You were torn between keeping him as your friend and wanting to know if this could be more.

You reached a hand up, stroking along his jawline before you ran your fingers through his hair finally. You pressed your mouth harder against his and he continued with what he was doing. You felt his hand cup your breast, his thumb teasing your nipple through your bra. You gasped at the sensation, suddenly very turned on now that he was touching you. Without thinking, you pulled him toward you even more, letting yourself lay back onto the couch as he immediately moved to top you, neither of your breaking contact with the other.

Before you knew it, he was removing your clothing. Before you could reconsider this being a bad idea, you were removing his clothing. He continued to kiss you, mouthing at your neck as you began to breathe heavier. You closed your eyes as he pushed into you, and you moaned in pleasure. Neither of you said a word the entire time. It was as if you didn’t know what to say to each other. Perhaps you both realized this was a bad decision; regardless of how good it felt.

You watched him as he held eye contact with you, thrusting his hips against yours as you continued to moan and gasp. He panted heavily as he came closer to his climax, swearing under his breath. You gripped onto him, feeling oddly content with the fact that you were sleeping with your best friend right now. You trusted him, the same way he trusted you; and maybe that was why all of this felt so good.

You pushed back the nagging thought in your mind that you were his rebound. The way he was watching you and making you feel so good had to be more than just that. Maybe he loved you as more than just a friend. You knew you were feeling something else for him, it only made sense that he felt the same way.

* * *

He made sure to get you off first, smiling as he watched you come undone for him. He followed; body stuttering against yours as he grunted against your mouth. You grinned as the high overcame you, still holding onto him. He collapsed against you, laying there for a moment before pushing himself off of you and squeezing next to you on the couch. You both worked on catching your breaths, not even looking at each other. It had been amazing, but now that it was over; you couldn’t help but feel as if it had been a mistake.

“I really needed that,” he breathed out as he ran a hand along your body, “thank you.”

“Please, do not thank me for having sex with you,” you replied in disgust, “It’s so weird.”

“What should I say then,” he chuckled. “Should I give you a high five or something?”

“Just… don’t say anything.” You adjusted yourself, now very aware that you were lying here with him, both of you completely naked and the situation now completely awkward.

“We just made things weird, didn’t we?” He asked quietly as he stared up at the ceiling.

“I don’t know,” you replied.

“For what it’s worth, it was really good. You were amazing. I’m not just saying that because you’re my friend. In fact, you’re my friend, so I’m always one-hundred percent honest with you…”

“Please, just stop,” you said as you sat up. You began to search for your clothing, needing to be dressed now. He had never seen you naked before, and you had never done that with him before. The feelings that you had felt during the entire thing had faded away very quickly now that you realized that you had just slept with your best friend. Even worse, he had thanked you. That was the moment that you knew you were just a rebound. He needed to get laid, hopefully find something to fix whatever was broken in him, and you had just happened to be there.

“I should go,” you stated.

“You don’t wanna stay?”

“Wouldn’t it be weird if I did?”

“We’ve slept in the same bed with each other before, plenty of times.”

“Yeah, but not after having sex, which we’ve never done with each other until now,” you replied. “This shouldn’t have happened.” You were fully dressed now, unable to look at him as he worked on putting his own clothes back on.

“I don’t want to make things different between us, Y/N.”

“Neither do I,” you said sadly, “but maybe we should have thought about that before we did this.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied. “Look, I’m not going to treat you any differently. You’re still my friend. I still care about you.”

“I care about you too.”

“Then, let’s just… not make it weird. You’re my friend who was there for me when I needed someone. I appreciate it, I really do.”

“Will you please stop thanking me?” You shouted.

“You regret it,“ he stated, almost sadly.

“I don’t know how I feel about it,” you sputtered. Your emotions were high right now. You honestly did feel something for him right now. But, you knew that you were a band aid. A rebound. He had turned to you because he had no one else to go to for something like this. You felt stupid. You had sort of convinced yourself that maybe you thought of him as more than just a friend, and you had managed to convince yourself that he was feeling the same way.

“You didn’t stop me,” he reminded you, “I thought you wanted it too.”

“I did,” you said, blushing as you admitted the fact that you wanted to have sex with him, “I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have done this, I’m saying that maybe we made a bad decision.”

“Let’s at least talk about it,” he offered. He sat on the couch, running his hands down his face in frustration at the way you were suddenly panicking.

“What is there to talk about? It happened, and I can’t take it back even if I wanted to.”

“I just- I don’t want for this to mess up our friendship,” he replied. He looked up at you, sadness present in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have turned to you for this, but you’re the only person that I trust.”

“You just wanted a one-night stand?” You asked, hoping you were wrong. “A rebound?”

He nodded, still looking at you. “Yeah, with someone that I trust. You understood that, right?”

“I understood,” you replied. For some reason, it hurt a little. You told yourself in the beginning that you were a rebound. No matter how you tried to talk yourself into thinking that this was something else, you knew the truth all along. You forced back tears, feeling stupid that you were even close to crying over this.

“I just need to know that we’re okay,” he began.

“Yeah, of course,” you responded. You shook your head, trying to steady yourself. “It’s just, a little awkward right now.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “I get it.”

“I’m gonna go home now.”

“I don’t want to screw things up with us, Y/N.”

“No, I know. I just- I’m not about to stay the night after that. I mean, we both know what that was, let’s not complicate things.”

“Okay,” he said, nodding, “are you sure you’re alright?”

“Of course,” you said, faking a laugh, “we’re good. I’m glad I could help, really. I know you’ve been having a tough time, and I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

“Thank you.”

“Again, stop thanking me,” you said with a forced smile as you turned from him to leave the house, “it’s weird.”


	5. The Homewrecker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as expected, people are talking. Everyone seems to be forming their own ideas of what is going on with Rob. Even after he fesses up to his breakup, his lack of telling the truth is putting him and Reader in a bad spot. Reader needs to convince him to tell the whole truth, to hopefully save their own reputations. It might help if he wasn’t avoiding Reader though…

It wasn’t something that the two of you talked about. No matter how your mind raced with thoughts, no matter how constantly confused you were by it; you never brought it up. You had left Rob’s place afterwards, expecting him to be just as thrown off by the way things had escalated between the two of you. But, Rob seemed to be able to easily separate the fact that you had slept together from the fact that you had a strong friendship. You on the other hand, weren’t so sure that you could.

You had kept yourself up that night with worry. You knew that Rob was hurting. You knew that he wanted something to help him forget about Julia and what had happened between them. He was a loyal man; evident in the fact that he had stayed with her for some time even when he already knew that she was being unfaithful. You didn’t expect him to be the type of guy to fall into bed with a stranger just because he was angry and sad. But, then again, you weren’t just some stranger. He had made it clear that he trusted you, which is why he felt confident in getting what he needed but only if it was from you. You wondered if that was all of it, if that was the only reason he turned to you.

You had never imagined getting to this point with him. You knew that sex complicated things, especially when you are already friends with someone. You felt sort of angry at the fact that he was able to go there with you and be able to keep emotions out of the equation. Mostly because sex wasn’t something you took lightly. In order to be with someone in that way, you had to have feelings for them. You didn’t take this lightly at all. You tried to tell yourself that, of course you had feelings for Rob, he was your best friends and you would do anything for him. Seeing him in pain caused pain for you. You were only being a good friend by helping to alleviate some of that pain, and maybe this time, you could learn to keep other feelings out of this whole thing.

You hardly slept that night. Your mind raced and your heart ached, wondering if you had put yourself into a bad position.

* * *

You sort of figured you and Rob wouldn’t speak for a while after what had happened. You certainly weren’t going to call him. You felt awkward about the whole thing, trying to convince yourself that you weren’t developing feelings other than a friendship-type-love for him. Rob, however, called you the next day, sounding happier than usual and obviously not at all concerned with the fact that the two of you had crossed a line.

“What are you doing today?” He asked when you finally answered your phone.

“Uh, nothing I guess. Just enjoying my days off.” You chose your words carefully, not wanting to let him in on the fact that you were a wreck over the events of last night.

“Perfect,” he began, “hey, there’s this band that I want to see tonight. Come with me?”

“Really? You want me to go with you?”

“Y/N… we go see bands together all the time.”

“No- yeah, I know. I’d love to. You just caught me by surprise is all.”

“I did?”

“Yeah, I didn’t expect you to call me today.”

Rob was quiet for a moment and you wondered what he was thinking. “Hey, we don’t have to let things change between us,” he said softly. “I don’t want things to change. You’re my best friend and I love you. You were there for me last night, and I’m so grateful for that.”

“Are we- are we okay?”

“I’m okay,” he chuckled, “are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just- I know that these things can get complicated…”

“Then let’s not complicate things. Let’s just hang out, like we always do.”

“Are we going to talk about what happened?”

“Do we need to talk about what happened?” He asked bluntly. “I’m okay, I’m really good Y/N. I needed that, and you came through for me. But, if you need to talk about it…”

“What? No,” you stumbled over your words. You realized now that you had been right about him. He had been able to sleep with you without letting it get in the way of your friendship, and you were grateful for that. The last thing you wanted was to lose him because the two of you had given into a moment of lapsed judgement. If he was able to still be friends with you without feeling awkward over what happened, maybe you could learn to as well. “We’re good. I’m just happy that I could help. You sound better today.”

“I’m great,” he replied. You could almost see his grin as he spoke over the phone. “That was just what I needed, and I’m glad it was with someone that I trust. You’d never break my heart.”

“Never,” you smiled.

“So… I’ll pick you up around seven?”

“Yeah, sounds great.”

“See you then.”

“Bye.”

You ended the call, smiling to yourself over the fact that he had definitely not made it weird. You, however, had made it a little weird; mainly because there was something else nagging at you in the back of your mind. Maybe you needed to learn to be more like Rob. Perhaps it was necessary to learn to not confuse sex as anything more than just sex. ‘ _Sex does not equal love_ ,’ you thought to yourself.

* * *

You and Rob found a table near the back of the room. You sat, placing your drinks down and looked at each other. He smiled at you and you offered him a broken smile in return. This was a lot harder than you thought it would be. Every time you looked at him tonight, your mind went right back to last night; memories of the way he had kissed you, the way his rough hands felt against your skin, the intensity of what it was like to have him inside of you… You tried to push the intrusive thoughts away, and you were curious as to how he was managing.

“When do you go back to Vancouver?” He asked suddenly, trying to make conversation.

“In a couple days,” you replied. You took a sip of your beer, trying to find something to do with your mouth when you realized you hadn’t stopped staring at his since you sat down. “I’ll be there for a few weeks.”

“That’s good, I’m glad they’re giving you so much screen time.”

“I’m still waiting for Chuck to come back,” you replied, giving him a look.

“Ah, me too. To think, I’ve never even been on screen with you.”

“It’s a shame.”

“That it is,” he laughed. “Will you be at the next convention?”

“No, I’ll have to miss it. My schedule isn’t working with that one.”

“Bummer, I was hoping we could hang out.”

“Well, we always have L.A.,” you replied. You took another drink and watched him as he shot you a look. He bit his bottom lip gently and you weren’t sure, but you felt as if he had looked you over quickly.

“Yeah, we do,” he said softly.

At least conversation was going well tonight. You had been worried that things between you would be painfully awkward, but you knew it was only you who would ever make it that way. So, you tried really hard to take a page from his playbook. You tried to pretend that last night never happened; instead, you talked about the things you’d normally talk about with Rob. You laughed together and just enjoyed each other’s company.

* * *

At the end of the night, Rob drove you home and you discussed the band that you had seen on the drive. The one thing that you cherished most about your relationship with Rob was the fact that you shared the same taste in music. Music that he loved, you also loved. You often had deep conversations about music and could sit around for hours, forcing each other to listen to favorite songs that you might had discovered while you were away from each other. Only, it was never really forced, as you each genuinely enjoyed what the other had to share.

“Thanks for tonight,” Rob said when he pulled into your driveway. He parked the car, turning the engine off as he shifted in his seat to look at you.

“No problem, we haven’t hung out like that in a while. You know I enjoy listening to music with you.”

“Yeah,” he smiled. He stared at you for a moment before turning his head from you. He stared at his hands that were now sitting in his lap and his expression changed from the happy guy that he had been all night to the guy who had just ended a long-term relationship.

“You okay?” You asked, feeling a twinge of worry for him again. God, you hated seeing him this way. No matter how much you tried to make him smile and be happy, it had the tendency to revert back to this.

“I’m okay,” he replied. He turned back to face you, his smile now unconvincing. “I’m so glad that i have you Y/N.”

“Of course,” you said. You reached over carefully, running your hand through his dark curls. “I’m always here.”

You had meant for the small gesture to be playful. You often told Rob that you loved his hair and would always touch it when you had the chance. He, however, must have took the movement differently right now. He leaned toward you quickly, grabbing your face as he crashed his lips against yours. You were taken by surprise, not expecting this to happen again. You pressed your hand against his chest, pushing him back gently. If nothing else, Rob could take a hint and you knew he would never do anything that you wouldn’t want him to do; once he felt you push him away, he broke away from your lips, sitting back in his seat.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s okay. You just took me by surprise.”

“I should ask next time.”

“Next time?”

He glanced over to you again. “Y/N, last night… what you did for me, I really can’t thank you enough.”

You visibly cringed at his words.

“Sorry, I know… don’t thank you, it’s weird,” he replayed your words. “I think that’s what I need to move on, you know? I need to just forget about her, and you helped me forget about her for a while.”

“What are you saying?”

“This is weird- asking you for this…”

“What are you asking?” You felt your heart begin to race, knowing damn well what he was asking.

“It’s just- it’s so easy to be with you.”

“Excuse me?” You replied, feeling sort of insulted that he had basically just called you easy.

“I mean, I trust you so much. I value our relationship, and I don’t want to complicate it. But, being with you is… comfortable. Last night… I haven’t felt that comfortable with someone in a really long time.”

“I don’t understand…”

“I’m going to sound like such an asshole right now,” he chuckled. “But, I was hoping you could help me out again.” He looked over to you, those blue eyes almost pleading with you. He was asking you to be with him again, and he was being very polite about it.

“What? Sleep with you?”

You saw him blush slightly, turning away from you. “I feel like an idiot asking for sex. I’m pathetic.”

Your heart dropped at his words. You saw the sadness on his face, the aftermath of his failed relationship still very much present. You hated seeing him this way.

“I just- I’m so terrible with women,” he continued. “I’ve never not been in a relationship, and I can’t bring myself to find some random woman to hook up with. I can’t be with someone like that.”

“But you’re okay sleeping with your friend?”

“Like I said, I trust you. I know you’d never hurt me. I think that I can’t bring a stranger home because I tend to develop feelings for people that I’m with. That’s not what I need. I need to let out some frustration, not fall in love.”

“And you think you can sleep with someone that you’ve known for years without developing feelings?”

He looked at you again, studying you. “Y/N, I already care about you. We’re friends,” he emphasized the word ‘friends’, trying to make you understand. You did understand. You understood because you felt the same way. You had been comfortable being with him in that way, and everything about it had felt right in that moment. It was the thoughts afterwards that had been the hardest to deal with; mostly because you weren’t sure what he was really thinking, and you were worried that your feelings were getting the best of you. Regardless, it felt good to be with him. You hadn’t been with someone in a long time, and he at least put in the effort to make sure you were taken care of.

“Will we be able to still be friends?” You asked finally.

“We’re still friends now, aren’t we?”

You stayed quiet for a moment, trying to process all of this.

“Yeah, we are,” you said finally.

“Can I come in?” He asked. He pocketed his car keys as he waited for your response.

You nodded as you opened the car door. You walked toward your house, Rob following close behind. ‘This is a bad idea’ you told yourself again. There was a larger part of you who knew better. You knew that this wasn’t how friends should act with each other. You were afraid to damage this relationship; and while you kept telling yourself that you were only trying to be there for your friend, to give him what he needed to fix his broken heart, you knew damn well that the two of you were complicating things.

* * *

Neither of you had talked again when you entered your house. Not when you led him to your bedroom, not when clothing was being removed, not when he began to kiss you and touch you. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that you were allowing this to happen because you maybe felt something more for your friend now. You couldn’t admit it to him and you didn’t dare to even consider it.

Instead, you enjoyed the feeling of him inside you; the slow burn of how he filled you up. You listened to the sounds he made as he moved against you; the low moans against your ear and the quiet praises he offered you as he thrust into you. You decided to just enjoy the moment. You let yourself go; the same way you would if you had been here with someone else. You held onto him, fingertips digging into his back. You didn’t bother trying to stifle your own sounds. You moaned out loud as he fucked into you, gasping each time he hit you in just the right spot. You let him kiss you and touch you, pretending for just a moment that this wasn’t just an easy way for him to get off. You pretended that this actually meant something to him too.

“Y/N,” you heard him mumble as his movements began to stutter. You knew he was close and you smiled when you heard your name slip past his lips. There was something about hearing your name like this…

You moved your hands up to the back of his head, carding your fingers through his hair as he groaned. You led him down to kiss you and he met you with what almost felt like passion. Your tongues tasted each other, his hips still moving against yours. He groaned again, breaking the kiss and you watched as pleasure took over; his mouth dropping open, eyes closing as he came. He slowed his movements, still gasping as he moved against you slowly. You smiled at him, still impressed with yourself that you could make him feel that good. When he had gotten off, he collapsed onto you and you continued to run your hands through his hair. You felt his breath, hot against your chest as he breathed heavy, trying to come down.

When he finally moved off of you, he looked at you with a frown. You felt your heart drop, wondering if you had disappointed him.

“You didn’t get off,” he said.

“It’s okay,” you replied.

“It’s not okay,” he argued. He immediately brought his hand down between your legs and you gasped as he went right to work, not really expecting him to return the favor.

He rubbed your clit gently, eliciting a moan from you. You grasped onto him again, mouth dropping open as he inserted a finger into you. He matched your expression, his own mouth opening slightly as he watched you. He rubbed his thumb against your clit, adding another finger.. You were already sensitive, and the buildup of your orgasm was happening quickly as he touched you. You moaned again as he added another finger, your head dropping back against the pillow as you writhed against his hand. He leaned in to kiss your neck, letting his mouth work it’s way down until he found your nipple. He licked around your nipple, which only caused the sensations to become more intense. He continued to rub circles against your slit, fingers working rhythmically inside you, his tongue matching the movements of his fingers. You threaded your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly as you felt your orgasm peak. He moaned against you as you did so and you broke.

Your climax crashed down around you; you cried out, reaching for his hand in an attempt to pull it away to relieve some of the intensity. He fought you though, not letting you move his hand. He moved his mouth away from your breast, crashing his lips against yours as he kissed you. You moaned into his mouth, body stuttering as you continued to come. Once you were spent, he slowed his movements; now removing his fingers from you, resting his hand against your stomach as he continued to kiss you. Your head buzzed and you panted against his mouth until he stopped kissing you.

“Holy shit,” you mumbled, still trying to pull yourself together.

“If we’re going to keep do this,” he said softly as he watched you, “we’re both going to enjoy it.”

* * *

Within the following days, you and Rob spent a lot of time together. It was nice to have your friend back and he seemed happier than usual. You felt good knowing that it was because of you. Sometimes, you’d hang out, the way you always had since the beginning of your friendship. Other times, you’d sleep together.

It became less awkward the more it happened. Eventually, you’d both lie in bed together, talking and laughing the way you normally would when you’d just hang out. Sex was simply a way for him to relieve his stress, and for you, you told yourself that it was the same. Neither of you made a big deal out of it anymore, and you figured that you had just become those types of friends. Friends who could sleep together and not let it get in the way of your actual friendship.

* * *

You went back to Vancouver, excited to be back to work, despite the fact that you missed Rob terribly while you were away. He’d call often, and you’d smile when you heard his voice. He really did seem to be doing better. He rarely brought Julia up and the two of you would talk about nothing in particular. You had worried that sleeping with your best friend could only get complicated, but now you were a little more certain that you had been wrong. You and Rob seemed closer than ever before, and now, things were a little less awkward.

By the time the next convention rolled around, your cast-mates took off for the weekend while you stayed back, working on shooting some scenes that needed to get done. Usually, if you weren’t at convention, you’d bother everyone else, wanting to know how things were going since you were missing out. You were too busy for that now though.

* * *

The next two weeks dragged on. You were so busy, that you almost didn’t even realize that your usual conversations with Rob were becoming far less often. It wasn’t until you had texted him one day during a break on set and he left you on read that you recalled that you hadn’t heard from him in a few days. He had been doing this for a few days; reading your messages and either not responding or sending you one word responses. You had stopped calling him because he had stopped answering.

You began to worry again, wondering why he seemed to be avoiding you so suddenly. After sending another text that was immediately read, but not responded to, you pocketed your phone with a heavy sigh. You decided to hunt down Ruth who was somewhere on set since she had been at the convention. You figured she might have some insight into what was going on with Rob.

You found her in her trailer. She let you in and you sat next to her on her couch, getting right to the point.

“You saw Rob a couple of weeks ago, right?”

“Yeah, at the convention,” she replied. You couldn’t be sure, but she seemed uneasy at the mention of it.

“Is he okay? He’s been ignoring me for some reason and I’m a little worried.”

“I don’t know that he’s okay, Y/N.”

“What happened? Did he say that I did something wrong?”

“He told some of us about how things ended with Julia.”

“He did?” You asked, surprised that he had finally done it. “Thank God, I was beginning to think he was going to keep that locked up for a bit longer.”

“You knew?”

“I was the first one who knew.”

“Can I be blunt with you?” She asked, giving you strange look. “Did you have something to do with them splitting up?”

“What?! No!” You exclaimed, feeling hurt that she could even think such a thing.

“Okay,” she began, holding a hand up to you, “you need to know what happened then. Rob told us on the first day. He just broke down suddenly, there were a lot of tears, the man is a mess. He kept saying that it was his fault.”

“It wasn’t his fault-” you cut yourself short, not wanting to say something that Rob maybe didn’t want you to bring up.

“Well, that’s what everyone thinks as well…” she trailed off, looking at you sadly. “Y/N, the others have been talking. It seems that most think it’s your fault.”

“My fault?!” you shouted again, this time getting angry. “What exactly did he say happened between them?”

“He just said it was his fault. Didn’t give an explanation as to why it ended. But, Briana may have pointed out to a few of us that she did see you leave his room that one morning.”

You let out a huff of air, not believing what you were hearing. “Let me guess, Rob never said when things ended and he didn’t mention who left who.”

Ruth shook her head, “Y/N, Briana also said that she saw the two of you kiss outside of the bar that same weekend.”

You opened your mouth to speak, wanting to set things straight. The timeline seemed against your favor, especially if Rob was neglecting to give even small details about what had happened. You wanted to save your own ass, the last thing you wanted was for anyone to think that you had something to do with all of that. You stopped yourself though, remembering how Rob repeatedly told you how much he trusted you. You couldn’t break that trust. You were closer with him than anyone else. You stared at Ruth, deciding that you needed to talk to Rob first. You needed to let him know what was going on and you needed him to fix this.

“It’s… it’s so much more complicated than that, Ruth.”

“I don’t doubt that it is. But, everyone is pretty set on believing that she left him because of you.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you said softly. You felt tears well up, realizing now that all of this looked even worse than you thought it did. Why would he say that the split was his fault? Was he really still feeling guilty over something that he didn’t do?

“I want to believe you,” Ruth continued, “but it’s really hard to right now.”

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“Then what is it? What happened?”

“That’s not for me to say.”

“Fine, but there’s something else you should know,” she said bluntly. “Rob has been talking to Rich a lot. Obviously, he’s turned to him with all of this.”

“Right, they’re friends. Rob has known him longer than he’s known me.”

“Yes. Briana might have also mentioned that she overheard a conversation between the two of them…”

“Does Briana ever stop gossiping?” You let out an annoyed laugh, not impressed that the woman kept seeing and hearing things that weren’t her business and telling everyone about them.

“Rob told Rich that the two of you slept together.”

Her words were still blunt, and you shifted in your seat, suddenly uncomfortable.

“Is that true?”

You stayed silent for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain this.

“Ruth… I- we might have-”

“You did?” She looked at you, disappointed now that you had given yourself up. “He cheated on her. With you. And, you’re pretending that that’s okay?”

“He didn’t cheat!” Your voice rose again. This was bad. This was very bad for both you and Rob. “Nothing happened while they were together. I don’t know what Briana heard Rob say, and I don’t even know what Rob said, but it’s not what it looks like.”

Ruth turned from you, pondering the situation now.

“So, let me get all of this straight,” she began, “Rob’s engagement ends, he insists it’s his fault… it just so happens that a couple weeks ago, Briana sees you leave Rob’s room, she sees the two of you kiss; and Rob mentions to Rich that he slept with you… You can see how all of us believe that you’re the reason for all of that, right?”

“Yes, I understand why it looks that way. But, Rob isn’t telling the whole truth.”

“Then what is the truth?”

“Unfortunately for me, I’m not willing to indulge you in what is going on in Rob’s personal life. He hasn’t told anyone everything, and maybe he has a reason for that. But, I won’t do that to him.”

“Then everyone just goes on thinking the worst of you,” she reminded you. “They’re calling you a homewrecker… some of them anyway.”

“I just- I need to talk to Rob. He needs to fix this because I don’t think that he realizes how bad this makes us look. He’s ignoring me or something though.”

“You’re right about one thing. Rob should probably set the record straight. Some people are really pissed off at you.”

“Great,” you mumbled. You sighed in frustration, wishing you’d set aside your feelings for Rob to set the record straight yourself.

“One more thing though,” you began as you stood up to leave, “why does everyone hate me? If they’re all thinking that Rob cheated on her, why not hate him too?”

Ruth offered you a small smile, “sweetie, Rob’s a good guy. He’s also a bit older than you. You can imagine what people are saying; the young temptress is jealous so she tries to come between him and his fiancee… she succeeds when she finally seduces him, turning the nice guy into something that he just couldn’t possibly be.”

“So, hypothetical cheating is a one person deal?” you asked. “I’d be the guilty one even if he had been the one to give in?”

“Well, when it comes to him, yes.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit when everyone knows that Rob had a thing for you years ago, before he moved on with Julia.”

You felt your heart drop. She couldn’t be saying this right now. You and Rob had always been just friends. Nothing else had ever happened between the two of you until recently.

“He did not. Stop it.”

“Oh, he did. Never made a move because he felt that he was too old for you. He thought you were too pretty for him, too good for him. When he met her, he changed. He found someone his age, more on his level, he moved on. It kinda makes all of this look worse since we all knew about that.”

“What?”

“Imagine, the girl that he was so into finally comes around, wanting him, even if he was taken. It’s just talk though; everyone has their ideas of what happened. But, most think that he gave in simply because you were the one that he couldn’t have, not in that way anyway.”

“I knew nothing about any of this,” you said in disbelief, “Rob and I are friends, we always have been. There was no seducing going on. I was happy for him until he wasn’t happy.”

“But you admit that you slept with him?”

“Not that it’s your business, but yes. I was there for him because he needed me. It happened after his relationship ended.”

“I’m just trying to understand all of this. I want to believe you, I do; because I feel that you aren’t that person. I know you aren’t and I know Rob isn’t either.”

You hated the way she looked at you; confused and trying to piece together what you were telling her and what she had heard through the gossip she overheard. Ruth was your closest girl friend out of the entire group. Yes, you were a bit younger than everyone and you didn’t always feel like you fit in, especially not with the other girls; but you and Ruth were close. You had similar personalities and she was always there to listen to the things that you couldn’t go to Rob with. Right now, your one close girl friend was questioning whether or not you were in fact a homewrecker. You didn’t want for her to think of you this way. You didn’t want for her to even consider that you could be capable of being that girl. So, despite your need to protect Rob and let him tell people what was going on, you decided it was okay to save your own skin; at least with her.

“Ruth-” you began. You bit your lip, rethinking if you should say any of this. “Julia cheated on him. He found out a while ago. He knew for a lot longer that it was going on. He left her just before the last convention and I was the only one he told. He was devastated. I told him that he needed to tell people what had happened, otherwise it would just be worse for him. I think he was embarrassed about the fact that she had cheated. He didn’t want people to know for some reason.”

“Really?”

You nodded, continuing your explanation. “Yes, I did leave his room that morning. I stayed with him because he was upset and he didn’t want to be alone. I did what any best friend would do. I was there for him. Yes, he kissed me outside of that bar. He was drunk and emotional. We kissed, and that was it. It wasn’t until we got back to L.A. that things went further. We were hanging out, and it just- it happened. It happened a few times while we were home.”

Ruth stayed silent as you spoke. “I was never with him like that when he was with her. Please believe me.”

“I do believe you,” she said softly. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

“Just- I told you this because I don’t want you of all people thinking those things about me. I can handle everyone else for now, at least until I talk to Rob. Please don’t say anything to anyone.”

“I won’t. Jesus, I can’t believe she’d do that to him.”

“She was still going to marry him,” you laughed, “even after he caught her.”

“What a bitch.”

You shrugged, silently agreeing with her.

“So, are you and Rob…?” She trailed off and you looked at her wide-eyed.

“Oh… oh, no. We’re not together or anything. He just- he needed someone to be there for him. I was there. It just happened. I don’t think he’s in any position to be in a relationship right now.”

“You’re okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked. To be truthful, you had asked yourself the same question constantly.

“I know friends-with-benefits sounds nice and all, but I also don’t see either of you as those types of people. You’re both too caring, especially when it comes to each other.”

“It’s fine Ruth,” you replied, “we’re adults.”

“It’s still fine now that you know what you know?”

You thought back to a few moments ago when she had told you that Rob had a thing for you years ago. You had honestly never seen it, he never gave you a reason to believe that he was interested in you like that. Maybe this new knowledge did complicate things further, especially since you had been wrestling with your own conflicted feelings about him since you had hooked up. You knew you had to play it cool though. You couldn’t let all of this outside information complicate things between you and Rob even more.

“It’s fine,” you stated, “because you said so yourself, he moved on. Now, we both understand that we are just friends who happen to be sleeping together. It’s not a big deal.”

“Well,” she huffed out as you reached for the door, “get a hold of Rob. Make sure he sets the record straight, before this all gets worse.”

“I will, it’ll be okay.”

“And, Y/N,” she continued. You turned back to face her. “Be careful. I know it seems exciting and it feels like it makes sense to be with your friend in that way, because you trust each other completely… but, in my experience, and the experience of others that I know; it doesn’t always end well.”

“Thanks for the advice, but Rob and I aren’t going to let all of this come between us.”

“Just be careful,” she said again, trying to drive the point home.

You gave her a weak smile before you turned to leave, knowing deep down that she was right. Not only was this whole situation fucked, things between you and Rob were already becoming complicated. He was ignoring you, you knew that much. And you? You were pissed about it, hurt even. You felt a moment of regret over having taken things with him to this point. You knew it was a bad idea. Now, you were even more pissed that he wasn’t telling the entire truth to your friends.

You tried to call him again as you walked back to set, of course having your call sent right to voicemail. You ended the call, angry now that he was being this way. What exactly was he doing? You knew one thing though, you were scheduled at the convention this coming weekend, and you knew he couldn’t ignore you forever.


	6. The Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader finally gets the chance to talk to Rob. But the conversation is not what she expects from him of all people.

By the time convention rolled around, you had one thing on your mind- talk to Rob. you felt a tiny bit better after talking to Ruth, at least someone knew the whole story. The only problem now was that others were still talking, thinking that you had ruined his relationship by somehow seducing Rob into being with you. If there’s one thing that you were not, it was a homewrecker. And, Rob was not a cheater. Right now, you both looked really bad, and it was Rob’s fault. 

You weren’t sure why he was neglecting to leave out key information when he decided to finally let others know that his engagement had ended, but as his friend, you knew it wasn’t your place to go into those details. He was holding back for some reason, and all you could really do was continue to support him. That and talk him into fixing things.

He had continued to ignore you while you were working in Vancouver. He left your text messages on read, and it infuriated you each time he did so. You’d call and he’d send you straight to voicemail. You had no idea why he was avoiding you, all you know was that it hurt and it left you with a sense of uneasiness. Maybe the two of you fooling around had been a bad idea after all.

Even at the convention, he did a great job of avoiding you. You arrived at the green room on the first day to find him sitting with Rich and the band, seemingly rehearsing as they talked and played. He had glanced up a you when you walked into the room and immediately looked away. Your heart sank at the obviousness of it all. This was the first time he hadn’t greeted you right away, and you realized that something was wrong between the two of you. 

The last thing you wanted to do was cause a scene. You certainly didn’t want to give anyone a reason to talk about the two of you any more. So, you held off on confronting him, no matter how badly you wanted to know what was going on with him. It was bad enough that you felt everyone’s eyes on you the minute you had walked into the room, and not in a good way. No one said hi to you, no one acknowledged that you were there, and for the first time ever; your presence here was met with an overwhelmingly cold and heavy feeling in the room. Not only had this entire situation caused some sort of rift between you and Rob; the talk of what might have happened between the two of you had apparently caused everyone else to turn on you. 

You uncomfortably sat at one of the tables, alone; since you didn’t dare join anyone else, especially the girls who were huddled in another area of the room. You had felt their stares when you walked in, not oblivious to their hushed whispers amongst each other as you walked by. For the first time in… ever, you felt painfully alone.

You waited there, as you usually did, to get to work for the day. Still, no one even approached you. You watched as Rich and the band left the room to begin the opening for the day, each of them walking past you, Rob not once even looking at you. He was talking to the guys, laughing as if nothing were wrong. Kim, Briana, Osric, and Gil following them to start the day off with their panel. 

As you sat there, somewhat humiliated and hurt; you were startled when Ruth and Mark approached you.

“How are ya?” Ruth asked as she and Mark joined you at the table. She smiled at you, probably noticing that you were out of sorts and very much alone.

“You know… I’ve been better,” you replied, offering her a forced smile.

“Have you talked to him yet?”

“I haven’t had the chance,” you replied. You mindlessly began to pick at the label of your water bottle. “In case no one has noticed, he is going out of his way to pretend that I don’t exist.”

“Oh, we noticed,” Mark added. You glanced up to him and he smiled at you sympathetically. It was a nice gesture considering that he didn’t really know about what was going on.

“This is weirdest first day ever,” you chuckled, “I mean, no one has even acknowledged me. And don’t think that I didn’t notice that everyone gave me death stares when I walked in. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I know some of them were talking about me.”

“Oh yes, they’re definitely talking.”

Your eyes shot back to Mark. You were even more embarrassed now that even Mark, the one guy on the circuit who stayed out of the drama of the week within the group, seemed to well-versed in the gossip of right now.

“Y/N,” Ruth began, “it’s only getting worse. We all see the change in Rob. We noticed that he’s acting differently toward you. It’s still just looking really bad for you.”

“Which is ridiculous; because we all know both of you probably better than you know yourselves,” Mark cut in. “You would never destroy a relationship. Rob would never cheat on anyone. These things that everyone keep saying are just so far off from who the two of you are.”

“Thank you Mark,” you said softly. “This could all easily be fixed. But, Rob is purposely avoiding me. He’s making this look worse. If I can just convince him to explain things, we could both avoid the gossip.”

“Well, then I recommend that you make him listen to you.”

“I’ll try,” you said. You bit your lip, nervous at the thought of trying to talk some sense into him. “I just- I never thought I’d have to have a conversation about this with my best friend.”

“You complicated things,” Ruth replied. “But, I think you knew that would happen.”

You nodded, dazing off as you thought back to the first night that Rob asked you to be with him. He had convinced you to sleep with him; because you were his friend and he trusted you and he just needed something to help him move on. You didn’t need much convincing though. Not when you had thought about being with him before. Yes, he was your friend. But you were also very attracted to him. Even then, you knew this couldn’t end well; but you thought that maybe you and Rob of all people wouldn’t let anything come between how much you cared for each other.

“You really did sleep with him?” Mark asked. “Not that it’s my business, but I’ve heard a lot of different things from a lot of different people. I’d rather know from an actual source.”

“You’re right, it’s not your business,” you said with a grin. “But, just so you know, nothing ever happened when he was with Julia. Everything that everyone keeps talking about… the things that they saw, the way Rob has been acting… that all came after things ended with them.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Mark replied. He smiled at you again, reaching over to grasp your hand for a brief moment. At least he wasn’t treating you like everyone else was. He and Ruth both seemed to genuinely care about what you were feeling right now.

* * *

You had tried throughout the day to catch Rob when he wasn’t surrounded by other people or at least on some down time. It was impossible though. You certainly didn’t want to approach him while he was busy or hanging out; the situation between two of you looked bad enough as it was. 

It wasn’t until the end of the day when you finally caught him alone. You and Rob had been the last two at autographs; sitting at your tables next to each other. He was subtly avoiding you even though you found yourself glancing over to him occasionally. Not being able to talk to him all day was killing you. He finished up his autos before you and left the room, so you quickly got through your last couple of autos and made a hasty exit in hopes of catching Rob. As you stepped into the hallway, you caught sight of him just ahead of you. He was walking alone, headed for the green room, so you decided it was now or never.

“Rob!” You called out after him. You know he heard you. You watched him as he paused briefly before continuing on his way, picking up pace as you jogged after him. Now, you were pissed. He was blatantly ignoring you when all you wanted was to talk to him. You picked up speed, determined to catch him before he could slip away again. “Rob, stop!” You shouted again, this time a hint of anger in your voice. This was ridiculous. He was acting like a child and your irritation with him was growing.

He must have caught on to the fact that you were pissed, because he finally stopped once the two of you were in the green room. He turned to face you as you caught up to him, giving you a slack look as he waited.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you all day,” you said, frustrated that this was even happening right now. “You’ve been ignoring me, and this is not okay.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Sorry? You’ve been avoiding me, ignoring my calls and texts… and you’re just sorry?”

“Can you just back off?” He shouted. His emotionless expression suddenly turned irritated as well as he yelled at you. You only stared at him, startled that he had raised his voice at you like that. “I’m going through enough shit as it is, and you’re being so clingy. I just need space from you right now.”

“Space?” You were taken aback now. How was this even a conversation between two people who got along so well? 

“Come on, everyone knows about my engagement ending… everyone looks at me like I’m pathetic. I’m still dealing with Julia and now I have to deal with you and all of this with us… it’s too much.” His face turned red, mouth turned down into a scowl and you realized that he was angry. Of course, he had every right to be. He was still dealing with the entire mess of his engagement ending, the fact that everyone around him was treating him differently… but you knew that the real problem right now was you. The one thing that you knew would mess up your friendship with him was now being thrown in your face, as if it had been your fault. 

“Look,” you spat back angrily, “I get it that you’re still hurting. I understand that this is all a huge fucking mess, but you’re the one who complicated things with us. You said none of that would ruin anything. And now you won’t even look at me.”

“It hasn’t ruined anything.” He rolled his eyes at you. He seemed slightly more annoyed and a lot more fed up with you. “I just need some time away from you to figure out what’s going on with me.”

“The only thing going on with you is that you’re an asshole. You won’t even be honest about what happened, and now you’re shutting me out. I knew that this would ruin our friendship, but I didn’t realize that you would turn into such a jerk.”

“I’m not trying to be a jerk. I really just need to not be around you right now.”

“This was all a huge mistake,” you choked out. You could feel the tears welling up, incredibly hurt that your friendship with him might possibly be ending just because you had given in to something that he had initiated. 

“Yeah, it was,” he replied softly. “You were right. We never should have went down that road.”

“So what?” you asked. You held back the tears still, not wanting to show him any more emotion than he was giving you. He seemed unaffected by it all. You wanted to tell him still that he needed to set the record straight, at least enough to stop everyone from calling you a whore and a homewrecker. You wondered how he was okay with the fact that people were calling him a cheater. How was any of this okay with him? “We made a mistake but we can just move past that. We can pretend it never happened.”

Rob shook his head at you, now beginning to show some emotion as you saw his own eyes tear up. “We can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

“What does this mean then?”

“I care about you, Y/N,” he began, “I always will. But, I need to get through some shit on my own, and you’re making it impossible for me to do that. I need some time away from you. I need you to leave me alone.”

His words were sharp and to the point. You sucked in a breath, feeling tears run down your cheek now. You didn’t know why he was treating you this way. You had done what any friend would do. You gave him what he needed when he was hurting. Your willingness to give into Rob even for something that you knew would be a bad idea, had definitely not going in your favor. Sure, he said he needed space, he needed time; but even you understood that this meant that he was done with you completely. You couldn’t be sure, but you assumed that you were now feeling what he must have been feeling when he found out he had been betrayed by someone that he thought loved him. The thought only made you angrier when you realized that he was willing to hurt you when he knew what it felt like to be hurt himself.

You opened your mouth to speak, ready to yell at him or tell him off… anything. You wanted to let your frustrations and hurt out on him. But, nothing happened. You closed your mouth, staring at him, unable to even ask him to at least fix things in the gossip mill. It didn’t matter anymore. You were quite possibly losing your best friend and you just didn’t care about anything else. Your whole intent had been to get the others to stop talking badly about you and Rob. 

You turned from him without a word, walking away as you forced yourself not to look back at him. You let the tears fall freely as you hurried out of the room. 

Your co-workers, the people considered friends, were still going to talk. You would forever be known as the girl who ruined Rob’s relationship. Rob would forever be the man who cheated. You hated that you would be this girl, but you figured Rob might deserve the title he had earned. Funny that all of that could have been avoided if you had been able to explain to him what was going on and he had the ability to just stop all the gossip in its tracks. It was also funny that, while Rob would continue to be thought of as the guy who cheated on his fiancee, it didn’t really matter. He could do no wrong within this little group of friends. It was always going to be you who somehow managed to ruin everything. 

* * *

You kept your head down through the rest of the convention. The only people who even talked to you were Ruth, Mark, and Osric. You knew that Mark and Osric didn’t know details, but even they seemed put off on the rumors that were spreading around. It felt good to at least have a few friends who remained on your side. 

Rob continued to ignore you. Your conversation with him hadn’t ended well, not when he basically told you to leave him alone. You decided that maybe it was best to leave him alone. Obviously he had gotten what he wanted from you and was trying to quickly cut you out of his life. 

You didn’t attend karaoke. You also backed out of the concert. The last thing you needed was to get up there and sing your usual duet with Rob in the midst of all of this. Yes, the rumors and the stares were horrible to be a part of all weekend, but the fallout between you and Rob was the worst of it. Your heart ached each time you saw him. You couldn’t believe that the two of you were in this position, especially when you had been best friends for so long. Rob spent most of his time with Rich now. Of course you noticed that the two were constantly in the middle of a deep discussion. Perhaps Rich was now the friend that Rob could talk to about all of the things that were going on with him. 

Your nerves were getting the better of you as you sat in the green room, alone again. You watched Rob and Rich out of the corner of your eye, the two of them talking quietly to each other. You tried to tell yourself that maybe Rob was just explaining what he was going through with the breakup; but a bigger part of you worried that he was maybe venting about you. Obviously, you had done something wrong. You had done something to push a wedge between you and Rob, and maybe he wasn’t venting about Julia at all anymore. 

You sighed heavily as your mind raced with thoughts of what was going on. One thing you knew for sure, you couldn’t wait for this weekend to be over so that you could go home to avoid the stares and gossip. You couldn’t wait to no longer be in the same space as Rob.


	7. The Mistakes We Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is reeling from the way Rob treated her. Even a night out with the few friends she has left isn't helping her to deal with it all.

You made it back home after the convention and the horrible conversation with Rob. The entire weekend had been a disaster and your friendship with Rob obviously ruined. You tried to go about your days not thinking about any of it, doing quite well as you found things to keep you busy. The last thing you needed was for some asshole to get to you.

By the end of the week of being home, it all caught up to you. You were incredibly angry. Angry that he had been the one to initiate something that he swore wouldn’t change things between the two of you. You were angry that he, for some reason, decided not to tell people exactly why his engagement had ended. You were angry that everyone was now talking badly about you and thinking that you had ultimately been the one who came between Rob and Julia. You were pissed that; because everyone thought Rob cheated on his fiancee with you, still no one was treating him as an outcast the way that they were with you. None of this was fair, and you couldn’t remember a time when you were filled with so much rage, especially toward Rob. Yes, you were also pissed at the way he basically called you clingy and told you to back off and leave him alone; but more than all of that, you were hopelessly sad that things had gone this way.

You and Rob had a strong friendship. You had known each other for a few years and had always been there for each other through many difficult things. You defended each other to the end, and never let anyone get away with hurting the other. You assumed it would always be that way. Now, one stupid decision that had turned into a few stupid mistakes had destroyed all of that. The man who insisted that he’d always be there for you had turned on you faster than you could blink. The one man who wouldn’t let anything hurt you, and become the one thing that did hurt you.

You were sitting in your car, willing yourself to leave your driveway to meet up with Ruth who was in town. She had called you to hang out, knowing that you were having a difficult time. Instead of pushing all of the thoughts you had been having away again; you sat there, gripping the steering wheel in anger and sobbing pathetically when you realized you couldn’t hold back anymore.

Everything hurt. Your constant headache remained, your body ached, and your heart hurt worse that you could ever imagine. The pain reminded you of the time your ex boyfriend of a few years dumped you; a time when at least Rob had been there for you. You recalled how he had held you as you cried, swearing to him that you’d never fall in love again. He said he wanted to find the guy and punch him himself. The thought of that memory made you sadder as you remembered what Rob used to be like with you. All of this felt strangely similar to, if not worse than, the heartache of losing someone that you loved romantically. It made sense though, you really did love Rob. You thought he loved you as well. Obviously, breaking up with a friend was something more painful than falling out of romantic love.

You allowed yourself to cry, hands hurting as you kept your grip on the steering wheel. How you could be so angry and heartbroken all at once was beyond you. No one had ever made you feel this way.

* * *

You met up with Ruth later than you had meant to. You walked into the restaurant, hoping she wouldn’t be too upset with you for being late. While you really didn’t want to be here right now, especially after that breakdown, you still didn’t want to let her down. Maybe that was your downfall; not wanting to let your friends down.

When you saw her at a table on the other side of the restaurant, you were surprised to see that she had company. You approached the table, smiling as Osric turned to smile back at you.

“Os,” you said softly as he stood up to hug you. “What brings you to L.A.?”

“I’m here for an audition,” he explained as he took his seat. You quickly hugged Ruth before joining them at the table. “I heard that Ruth was in town, so I called her. She said the two of you were meeting up for a girl’s night, so I figured I’d join you.”

“Always happy to have you crash the party,” you chuckled.

“So, what’s the plan?” He asked. “Dinner? Drinks? Dancing?”

“Dinner, yes,’ you replied, “and trust me, I could use a drink or two.”

“The dancing comes later,” Ruth added.

“I don’t know that I’m up for dancing,” you chuckled. “Although, I’m considering anything that can take my mind off of everything.”

The three of you ordered dinner and drinks. During your meal, you got caught up on each other’s lives, laughing and talking as if you hadn’t seen them in ages. It really felt that way. Even with a convention having just happened, you knew you had been too caught up in Rob’s drama to remember that you had other friends who weren’t using you. 

“Maybe I’ve been out of the loop,” Osric said. “But, is just me or are things within the group a little weird lately?”

“Oh, things are definitely weird,” Ruth replied. She glanced over to you, offering you a smile.

“I have the tendency to make things weird I guess.” You took a long sip of your beer, again fighting back the need to cry.

“Yeah, you and Rob, huh?” Osric began.

“Can we not talk about him?” You asked, slightly annoyed that this was still the topic of the night. “Jesus, you all treat me as if I just got dumped by my boyfriend.”

“Well, breaking up with a friend is tough.”

“We didn’t break up,” you mumbled to Osric. “But, maybe we just aren’t as good of friends as I thought we were.”

“But, you did sleep with him?” Osric asked. You paused, wondering for just a second how he even knew. Then you remembered that apparently everyone in your close-knit group of friends seemed to know a lot more about you and Rob than even you and Rob did.

“I was going slap you just now,” you warned, “but I guess the rumors aren’t your fault. If there’s one piece of advice that I can give to any of you, it’s don’t mess around with friends. It doesn’t end well.”

“So, you really did break them up?” He asked, looking somewhere in between surprised and sad.

“I didn’t fuck him while he was engaged. Rob isn’t a cheater. She was though. He only came to me when the engagement ended.”

“You know, everyone else is saying otherwise.”

“I’m fully aware. It all looks really bad when no one bothers to listen to the details, or when Rob doesn’t bother to set anyone straight.”

“Yeah, he’s been really… off lately.”

“He’s a different person for sure. But I suppose heartbreak does that to a person.”

“Has he talked to you since the convention?” Ruth asked.

“”Nope. We talked at the con. I practically had to chase him down so he would even acknowledge me. He told me to leave him alone. So, I’m leaving him alone.”

“Oh, Y/N,” Ruth sighed as she reached for your hand, grasping onto it in an attempt to comfort you. “Have you considered telling everyone the truth, since Rob won’t?”

“I have considered it. I just- maybe he and I can still be friends someday. I don’t want to betray him any more than I already have with telling you guys. Besides, I don’t know that anyone else would listen to me at this point, much less believe me. Everyone has their minds made up it seems.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, we believe you,” Osric replied. “We also think Rob is being a major dick.”

“Thanks,” you chuckled. You were honestly touched that at least a handful of your friends hadn’t chosen to listen to the rumors and were at least sticking by you when everyone else had seemed to turn their backs on you.

“I do have to ask though,” Ruth said slowly. She eyed you for a moment, and you could tell that something had been bothering her about all of this. “What on earth led you to think that it was a good idea to hook up with him? I mean, I get it, you’re very close. But, I can’t imagine sleeping with people who are my friends. You had to know it would complicate things.”

“I’m a bigger idiot than I let on,” you laughed. “I don’t know… I care about him, a lot. He was so sad, so hurt. He just- needed someone to take his mind off of everything. I happened to be there and I happen to care enough about him to make that mistake.”

“Maybe you care about him as more than just a friend?” Osric added.

“I’ve always been attracted to him,” you replied honestly. “I won’t lie about that. We became friends because he never gave me the green light to indicate that it could ever be more. And then he met Julia and he was so happy, I sort of held back on that stupid crush. I got over it.”

“But then you slept with him.” Ruth was nonchalant about it. Which made sense given what she knew.

“Yes, Ruth. I did. Two people can sleep together and not be in love. You’re mistaken about his feelings toward me.”

“Am I?” She raised a brow at you, pursing her lips. “I mean, he’s got lots of female friends; many that he’s known longer than you. He didn’t turn to any of us for something like that.”

“So, you love him; and he loves you or something?” Osric said. He looked just about as confused as you felt.

“No one loves anyone,” you replied. “It’s just a big mess that shouldn't have happened.”

“Well, Rob has always loved Y/N,” Ruth corrected you. She picked up her drink and took a long sip. 

“No,” you said sternly. “You don’t treat people you love like shit. You’re wrong. I was just a friend who happened to be there in the wrong moment. He was just a guy looking to get laid and once he got what he wanted from me, it didn’t hurt him at all to ignore me and then tell me to leave him alone. That’s not love. That’s not even friendship anymore.”

You looked down at your hands, busy picking at the label of your beer. You could feel the tears well up in your eyes again. Just saying all of this out loud, coming to terms with the fact that the two of you had ruined a good friendship because of one mistake, it was all too much for you still. It had been your fault all along. Rob had been in a terrible place. He was heartbroken, devastated really; and you knew that you shouldn’t have given in to him when he was vulnerable. Being with someone else wasn’t going to fix what was broken in him, and you knew that he had realized this when he told you to stay away from him.

“Was it love when you decided to go with it?” Ruth asked. 

You looked up at her, your breath catching at her words. You paused for a lot longer than you would have liked. Of course you loved Rob, you always did and you worried that you always would, despite everything. But there was a difference between romantic love and the love you have for your friends. You couldn’t tell her that you had thought about what it might be like to be with him in that way when you had first met him. You couldn’t tell her that you had felt a twinge of jealousy when he had introduced you to Julia for the first time. You couldn’t tell her about how you were so devastated over the way he had treated you that you couldn’t sleep or eat or stop crying. When you said it all like that in your head, you’d think you really had been in love with him. 

“It was a mistake,” you replied firmly.

* * *

Even your night out with Ruth and Osric hadn’t done you any good. You understood that they were your friends and were just genuinely curious to know more about what had happened and why it had all happened. But, just like anyone else, you felt that you had been left out of the loop on all of this as well. You had hoped for a nice night out; drinking and dancing that Ruth had promised you. Instead, it had turned into a nonstop discussion on who loved who and what went wrong and why. You left; feeling your head buzz, dizzy as you thought to yourself on the drive home. You hadn’t been drunk, but you sure hoped you had been.

It was Saturday night, and you were holed up in your house, still feeling sorry for yourself. No matter what you did, you still felt an ache in your chest and you still couldn’t get Rob’s words out of your mind. It should have been easy to brush off a friend who treated you like shit, but it certainly wasn’t in this case. 

You were a wreck of emotions still. Especially since you knew that the following weekend would mean another con weekend that you were going to be a part of. You weren’t sure that you could face him again after how he had treated you. You were certain that you couldn’t face everyone else given the way they had been judging you.

You were deep into a romantic comedy marathon on netflix, and about halfway through a pint of Ben and Jerry’s when your phone rang for the first time all day. It surprised you since none of the people you considered to be your friends were even talking to you anymore. You couldn’t imagine why Ruth or Osric would call since they had just seen you. You picked up your phone hesitantly, glancing down to see who it was.

Your heart stopped when you saw Rob’s name show up on your screen. Why would he be calling you after everything that had happened? You considered ignoring his call, letting your thumb hover over the screen for a moment. You didn’t know if you wanted to talk to him, even if he was possibly calling to apologize. You didn’t think an apology would ever fix how he had treated you. But, instead of hanging up, you answered his call. Maybe you were a glutton for punishment, but you decided that you had really missed his voice. You missed him terribly. Maybe the two of you could finally talk for real and possibly fix this before it got worse. If nothing else, at least you’d get another opportunity to tell him what an asshole he was.

“What do you want?” You asked, trying to sound unexcited at the fact that he was calling you.

“Hey, it’s me. I was just calling because we haven't talked in a while.”

“Maybe you’ve forgotten, but you told me to leave you alone.”

“I just meant for the weekend,” he retorted. “I wasn’t trying to say that I wanted to not talk to you ever again. I just needed some space.”

“Rob, you treated me like shit,” you reminded him. You could feel yourself getting emotional again. He had been horrible to you and now he was calling to chat as if nothing had happened. “You yelled at me. You told me to back off.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” You heard him let out a heavy sigh and you waited. “I’m just going through some shit and I was upset.”

“What do you want?”

“I was- hoping that maybe we could hang out tonight.” He was strangely casual about it. It was as if the conversation between the two of you had never happened, as if the fact that he had avoided you and then told you to back off had never been a thought in his mind. 

“Why?”

“Because you’re my friend and we haven’t… hung out… in a while.” He seemed nervous now. 

“Wait, are you asking to hang out? Or are you asking to…  _ hang out _ ?” you added emphasis on the second part, hinting to what you both knew it to really meant.

“I mean, we could hang out first if that’s what you want.”

You were seething now. He was really calling you for a hookup. Again. After everything, he was still wanting to use you to relieve whatever his stress of the day was.

“Rob!” You shouted. “I am your friend… was your friend, but I refuse to be your band aid!”

“Y/N, you’re not my band aid… whatever that means.”

“There is something broken in you,” you said, “God knows Julia fucked you up. But I am not here to fix you. I will not be the person that you keep calling when you need to get laid.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Yes, it is! We literally had a fight. You hurt me, you made me feel like I was the one who fucked things up between us. You agreed that this was a mistake… and now you have the audacity to call me asking for sex?”

“I shouldn’t have- I probably should have asked you to dinner first,” he chuckled.

“You think this is a joke?” You shouted. You stood up from your couch, pacing angrily as you tried to control some of your temper.

“No, I don’t. You’re right, I’m an asshole. I didn't mean that I made a mistake with you. We actually had a really good time, didn't we?”

“This is not okay,” you choked out. “This is not what friends do, Rob.”

“Can we at least have dinner and talk about it?” You could almost hear the sarcasm in his voice as he spoke and it angered you even more.

“Fuck you,” you spat out. “Leave me alone. You wanted me to back off, now I’m done.”

You ended the call quickly, not wanting to hear more. You started to cry once you were off the phone with him. You tossed your phone onto the couch as you sat down, holding your face in your hands. You were humiliated and angry that he was doing this. He had promised that the two of you fooling around would not result in a change in your friendship. Now, he made you feel cheap and used. Somehow, you had managed to lose your best friend. He wasn’t the same Rob at all. Now, you were nothing more than someone that he could call to hook up with. 


	8. With Friends Like These

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems as if everyone that Reader has considered to be a friend is pushing her out of their lives. Decisions are made, no matter how painful they may be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter to move things alone. Not a lot of Rob here.
> 
> Also, I love the entire cast. They are the sweetest. I don’t honestly think they act this way, but every story needs someone to drive the angst.

You really didn’t want to be at this convention. You had considered cancelling your appearance altogether. It was bad enough that you and Rob were in such an awkward position with each other, but it also didn’t help that you knew everyone else still had their opinions about you and what had gone on between you and Rob to begin with. The fact that you were no longer talking to him wasn’t going to make you look any better.

You arrived at your hotel anyway, trying to decide the best way to avoid Rob for the weekend. You were still angry and you weren’t even sure what you would be feeling when you had to see him again. You hung out in your room that night, bored and alone. Usually, you’d get together with the rest of the group and do dinner or something; but no one had called or texted at all, which really wasn’t a surprise to you. 

You stayed in, ordering room service and watching TV. You held onto a small sliver of hope that someone would call you or text you to hang out. You knew that the few people who had your back weren’t here yet, so you knew deep down that you would be on your own tonight.

Later that night, your phone buzzed with a notification from Twitter and you checked it, seeing that Briana had posted a picture. You hesitantly went to her post and then felt your heart drop. It was a photo of everyone at some restaurant having dinner together. “The gang’s all here!” the caption read. Sure enough, everyone that was always a part of the first day of the cons was there. Everyone except you. You studied the picture for a moment, taking note of how happy everyone looked to be together again; mostly your eyes fell on Rob as you felt your heart break all over again. He looked as if he hadn’t just lost his best friend. He looked like he was enjoying himself just fine without you. You didn’t know why it hurt so much to see him given the way he had treated you, but seeing his face hurt worse than you could have ever imagined. You exited the app, putting your phone aside as you pulled the blankets over your head. You didn’t want to cry; but the frustration and loneliness that you were feeling was really building up.

You didn’t sleep well that night. You thought a lot about how things had gone with Rob. While you had done well in pushing the thoughts from your mind while you were back home, lying here alone in the deafening silence of your hotel room left you vulnerable to the intrusive thoughts. You let it all replay in your head; the way he didn’t hesitate to call you for a hookup after you had given in once. You recalled the phone call in which you told him to fuck off and that you were done with him. You relived the way you had felt when he told you to back off and how he had called you clingy. Mostly, you thought about what it had been like to be with him after so many years. You had been single for so long, losing yourself in trying to meet someone, dating and feeling disappointed with any man that you fell into any sort of intimacy with.

Being with Rob had been a relief given the limited dating scene that you had experienced. You knew that sleeping together had simply been a way for him to move on and get over his ex. For you, even though you didn’t want to admit it, it had felt comforting and… right. You had thought at one point that maybe things could work out differently between you. The sex had been amazing, you felt a connection to him that you hadn’t felt with anyone else that you had encountered during your tireless attempts at dating. Maybe it had been the fact that you were already so close and he was something familiar to you. Maybe you might have started to fall in love with him, thinking that since things had ended for him and Julia, maybe now things would work between the two of you.

Sitting in the green room the next day, you kept to yourself. No one acknowledged you anyway; so you put on headphones and pretended to listen to music to make it look like you weren’t a total loser. You waited rather impatiently for the day to start, knowing that you had a busy schedule that would at least keep you busy enough so that you wouldn’t think to much.

You played on your phone, switching between apps mindlessly and nervously now that you could feel occasional stares in your direction. Briana, Kim, and the other guys from the band were sat at a table on the other side of the room; and you knew that they were looking at you. You kept pretending as if you didn’t notice. You might have been better off actually listening to music, but you wanted to be aware if someone was talking to or about you.

The others must have been trying to test you, because you definitely heard your name mentioned as you sat there. You didn’t look up, didn’t even give a hint that you could hear them. Unfortunately, ignoring the situation left them to believe that you really were deaf to their discussion, and it quickly turned into free-range for them to talk about you.

“I can’t believe she’s even here still,” you heard Kim mutter, “After what she did? How can she even show her face anymore.”

“It’s because she has no shame,” Briana added. “Poor Rob obviously doesn’t want her here.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him not talk to her,” you heard Mike say. “They used to be inseparable.”

“Well, I think he’s realized his mistake,” Kim offered. “It’s for the best, him avoiding her.”

“I just can’t believe she did this. She seemed so supportive of the two of them.” Billy spoke up now, sounding a little bit sad as he talked. You’d almost believe that he seemed to be more apprehensive in believing everything than anyone else.

“She was until she realized she was going to lose him,” Briana replied. “I just didn’t think she was the type to break up a relationship just because her friend was caught up in someone who wasn’t her.”

“It’s pretty selfish.” Stephen agreed.

“Well, I don’t think he’s any less guilty of what happened.” Again, Billy sounded as if he might be sticking up for you.

“Maybe not,” Briana agreed, “but he wouldn’t have done this if she hadn’t seduced him. We all know that he was always way more into her than she was with him. She just waited until he was happy with someone else to fuck his life up. Obviously she doesn’t care about him that much. You don’t mess up someone’s life if you love them.”

You still didn’t believe the fact that apparently everyone thought Rob had been interested in you as more than a friend. How was it that they all saw this and you never did? You felt your face heat up as you listened to them ramble on. There were a lot of sour words said about you, a lot of disappointment in their voices; at least Billy continued to sound as if he wasn’t one-hundred percent in agreement that all of this was only your fault, or that it had gone the way that everyone else believed it had.

You wanted to cut in, you wanted for them to know the truth finally. You wanted for them to stop hating you and being misinformed about all of this. You almost did say something, until you thought back to how humiliated Rob had been by the fact that he had been cheated on. You knew you couldn’t be the one to talk about why things had ended with Julia. Even though you were furious with him and you devastated by his treatment of you, you still cared for him. Your love for him was more important than saving face with everyone else. You decided to be the bigger person. No matter how badly you wanted to call Briana and everyone else out on their treatment of you, you kept quiet. They were angry with you, you understood that. But you’d be damned if you sunk to their level of pettiness.

* * *

During a moment of downtime, you watched as everyone discussed karaoke for the night; who would sing what, what costumes each of them would wear… you said nothing as Matt volunteered himself to wear the tiger costume, the only costume that you ever wore to karaoke. You bit your tongue, still understanding that they were gradually trying to push you out.

“The tiger is your costume,” Rich said to you. For some reason, he didn’t appear to be upset by you or your presence here.

“Yeah, I mean, I always do that one.”

“Matt, maybe you should do something else,” Rich said as he glanced to Matt.

“It’s okay,” you blurted out, “I’m not going to karaoke. I’m uh- not feeling well.”

“Too bad,” Briana mumbled.

You blushed, noticing the snark laced in her voice as she spoke. You glanced over to Rob out of habit, but the man was doing well in pretending that you weren’t there.

You wanted him to look at you. You wanted him to acknowledge that you were still here. Yes, he was going through some things, but you wanted him to recognize that you were hurting as well; and most of that hurt stemmed from the way that he had treated you.

When the discussion shifted to the concert, you perked up sightly. SNS was always a treat, it was the one night that you all made sure you were involved in. You had found yourself during your first performance when you had joined the show and the con circuit. Music was one thing that you and Rob shared a love for, and he had supported you in pursuing it a little more than you had ever considered. You singing with the band on stage was just something that was expected now. There was never a convention in which you sat on the sidelines.

As the set-list was discussed, you of course being excluded from the conversation, you quickly learned that this would be the first time you would sit on the sidelines. The realization hit you hard as you paid attention to the fact that the set-list was pretty much ready to go, and you were no longer included on it.

Before the meeting ended, you hastily gathered your belongings and darted from the room. You felt humiliated and alone. You felt angry and sad. You decided to call it a day since you were done with your responsibilities for now. You needed to be alone, and nobody objected as you left.

* * *

The last day, it was more of the same. You had been left out of karaoke, rejected from the concert, and continued to wander alone as you made your way to photo ops and autographs and panels. It was as if you were in a dream most of the time and everyone in that dream didn’t see you.

At the end of the day, you sat alone for some time until a familiar face approached you. You smiled up at Mark as he joined you. It felt strange really to have someone take notice that you still existed.

“And why are you sitting over here all alone?” Mark asked as he took a seat next to you.

“I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention, but literally everyone is going out of their way to avoid me this weekend.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed. The whole thing with Rob, right?”

“I’m beginning to think that everyone still believes that he cheated on Julia with me and I’m the reason his engagement ended. Everyone still thinks I’m a homewrecker.”

“You could just tell them the truth,” he replied, “screw what Rob thinks.”

“Yeah, I guess I could. But, I’m not sure that anyone would believe me over sweet, innocent Rob.”

“So, what? You just sit here all alone every convention weekend? You let them drive you out of all of the extra stuff? You allow them to give you looks and talk about you? I’ve seen it, you know. I’ve been hearing everything. I try to tell them that they’re misinterpreting the situation, but no one seems to care.”

“See, it’s not worth it,” you chuckled. “Thanks for having my back though.”

“Even Rob isn’t talking to you,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, we sort of had a falling out.”

“Over what?” He looked at you sympathetically, waiting as you considered how to word this.

“I’ll just say… it’s best to stay friends with your friends. Taking things any further is a mistake and it ruins things.”

“Hmm, that’s very misleading. I thought the two of you didn’t do the things that everyone is saying you did.”

“I didn’t hook up with him while he was in relationship. I was simply a good friend who was there for my best friend when his relationship ended.”

“Ah, that makes more sense. Still, you should probably clear the air,” he insisted. “Otherwise, it’s going to get more lonely when you’re sitting in a corner by yourself every other weekend.”

“Nothing to worry about. This is my last convention.”

He stared at you in disbelief. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, I’m done with all of this. I have a used-to-be best friend who used me and now doesn’t talk to me, a bunch of I-thought-they-were friends who talk about me and treat me like shit, probably a lot more ex-fans who say and do even worse. What’s the point?”

“You don’t have to do that. I still like you. Ruth and Osric still like you.”

“I’ve already talked to the organizers. Luckily I’m not contractually binded to these things, so I was able to back out easily.”

“What about the show?” He asked quietly. You studied him, realizing that he already knew your answer.

“I’m finishing out the season, then I’m done. I think they wanted to kill me off anyway, it works out for everyone.”

“Oh, Y/N,” he sighed, shaking his head when you finished speaking.

“It’s fine. I’m just going to move on to other things. Hopefully better things.”

“It won’t be the same without you.”

“It’s not the same now,” you said with a forced smile. You felt yourself tear up and Mark looked at you sadly. He said nothing else; he simply wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him so that he could hold you. You let yourself cry silently, not wanting to bring attention to yourself, but knowing that at least he would comfort you. If nothing else, at the end of it all, you knew that a few people would care.

As the con came to a close, you wasted no time in collecting your things and heading out of the last green room you would ever share with these people. You took a brief moment to look around before you walked out, stopping on the faces of the people that you had grown to love and know; the same people who you had lost just as easily. None of them knew that you were done, they certainly wouldn’t care either. You let out a sigh, turning to leave finally. You admit you felt a bit of regret and heartache as you walked away, but you knew that no one would miss you.

* * *

Once you boarded your flight, you took solace in the fact that you would at least be going home for a while to be alone without having your friends ignore you and talk about you. You could finally be alone without scrutiny and without having to see Rob’s face every day.

You stared out the window of the plane, just thinking to yourself even though you didn’t really want to. You were lost for a moment until you remembered that you had to put your phone on airplane mode. You got your phone out, making the move to shut it off when you noticed that you had a text message. No one had texted you in days, so you opened it only to see that it was from Rob. you hesitated, wondering if you really wanted to hear from him again. You wondered what other horrible things he had to say to you. You opened the text and read it, confused and angry at the fact that he was still acting this way.

_Rob: Are you okay? You seemed off this weekend._

That was it. Just a general observation that downplayed the fact that you were miserable. It was almost friendly, despite the fact that you knew this friendship was over. You were certain that he knew that too. You thought about answering him; telling him that you were not okay and that it was his fault. You were angry at the way he kept on acting oblivious to all of this. Everyone hated you and you knew damn well that he saw that.

Again, you chose not to stoop to that level. You shut your phone down, tossing it in your bag as you propped a pillow up against the window. You steadied your breathing as you felt your chest ache again, reminding yourself that it wasn’t worth it to keep letting him play games with you. He could easily say terrible things to you, ignore you for weeks; you could do the same.


	9. Go Your Own Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving the cons, Reader has a chance to focus on other things. She begins to work on an album with Jason, the one person in the circle of friends who hasn’t had to witness the mess that she and Rob have created. A run in with Rob’s ex reveals a lot more than she wanted to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been sitting on this chapter for weeks because I wasn’t happy with it. I let myself go back and look at it today, and I think I’m okay with it. So, thanks for being patient and I promise we’ll get Rob back in the story soon.
> 
> Also, I’ve been listening to a lot of Fleetwood Mac and wishing that Swain would cover more of their songs.

In an attempt to forget what a mess your life had turned into, you turned to music to help you deal with it all. It may have been one thing that you and Rob shared in common, the love of music; but you found that music always helped when things were tough. Rob had been the one to encourage you to pursue your own musical abilities before; and you had always said that you would.

You were meeting Jason to work on some stuff for his newest album in which he and his friends covered songs. You had sent him your ideas a while back, but only now found the time to actually record now that you were free of the conventions and just about done filming your part on the show. He was in a rush to get this thing complete, and you were the last friend that he needed to finish it up.

“Jason,” you smiled as you stood on tiptoes to hug the man. He gave you a big hug in return before leading you to the studio.

“I got your list of ideas,” he began as you sat next to him on the couch. “You’d do great with any of them, but ‘ _Go Your Own Way_ ’ is out of the question.”

You frowned, wondering why he was neglecting you of recording the one cover that you had been doing for so long at so many SNS shows.

“What? Why? That’s the one I was most looking forward to working on with you.”

“Someone else already called dibs,” he replied as he shot you an apologetic look. “It’s already been recorded.”

“Who?” You asked, honestly surprised that someone you knew would swoop in and take YOUR song. As you gave it a second thought, you realized it might not be very surprising given the way everyone else seemed to hate you right now. It had probably been Briana, since she was the one who seemed to be the most ani-Y/N.

He stared at you, quiet for a moment as if he didn’t want to say who had done the song. “Rob,” he answered you finally.

“Rob took ‘ _Go Your Own Way_ ’?” You asked, repeating his statement as if you were trying to convince yourself you had heard wrong.

Jason nodded, averting his eyes from your stare.

“He sounded really good on it,” he said. You frowned, not feeling any better about the fact that Rob did the one song you had looked forward to recording. Sure, he did back-up vocal during performances on the song, and the two of you sounded great together, but the song was yours. “I’m honestly surprised the two of you didn’t just record it together.”

“Well, he and I aren’t really talking,” you mumbled as you slumped against the couch.

“I heard.”

“What did you hear?”

“Rumors,” Jason chuckled, seemingly impressed with his own joke. “Just rumors. I didn’t hear anything from him, and I try not to take what everyone else says to heart.”

“Trust me, they’ve got it all wrong anyway.”

“I don’t doubt that.” He reached over to the table, retrieving a notebook and he began to flip through the pages. “The other songs you picked were good ones though.”

“I have to completely change everything and come up with something else.”

“No, you’ve got some great ones.”

“I picked all Fleetwood Mac songs,” you reminded him. “We can’t have two on the album.”

“We can do whatever you want,” he said. You raised a brow at him. “Well, except that one song.”

“I’m so angry that he took it.”

“I know, but he did get back to me before you did. I tried to talk him out of it, but he said it would be cathartic for him or something.”

You huffed in response. It made sense really. The man had just been through a difficult break-up, well, two break-ups if he chose to count your friendship in that.

“I think you’d sound amazing on ‘ _Dreams_ ’,” Jason began. You eyed him, unsure of that had been a good choice. “It might be cathartic for you too.”

“I do love that song,” you breathed out.

“Well, let’s work it out and see what we get.”

You nodded in agreement, giving him a smile.

* * *

After a couple of days working on the song with Jason, you had finally recorded a version that you both liked. The song may have been a bit slow for your liking, and you really wanted to do something a little more upbeat for the album; but Jason had been right. It had been very cathartic to sing that song.

It was strange really; you and Rob picking songs by the same group, both songs from the same album, and both songs that had each been written in response to a breakup. You hated thinking of your relationship with Rob in those terms; the two of you hadn’t ever been in an actual romantic relationship, but you’d be lying of you said it didn’t feel like that type of breakup. Leave it to you to develop deeper feelings during something that had been nothing but sex to him.

You were finished recording, and taking a small break from filming. The season wasn’t too close from being finished; and you had promised to stay for the remainder of it if they needed you. Of course, this meant that they included you in nearly every episode right up until the season finale. You only had a couple of months left of filming and you’d be done. At least then you could remove yourself from the show and the people completely then.

While nothing had really changed on set, you still wanted to be done with it in a way. Jared, Jensen, and even Misha mostly kept themselves out of what the drama of the moment was during convention weekends; they really weren’t around long enough to hear most of it. So, at least they didn’t treat you any differently at work. They had only been disappointed at the fact that you were the once choosing to leave the show. Misha had pulled you aside at one point to ask how you were doing. He had heard some of what had been going on, and only wanted to check on you since he knew that other people must be misinformed. You were too exhausted with the entire thing to even try to attempt an explanation. It didn’t really matter anymore. So, you insisted that you were fine and left it at that.

Today was the beginning of a rare weekend off. No work, no convention, no recording. You knew the rest of the cast were expected at a con somewhere; after a while you just stop worrying about all of that. But, you weren’t going. For the first time in a long time, you were missing a con.

You decided to not allow yourself to mope around at home, so you found yourself in a coffee shop in a simple attempt at keeping yourself busy.

You waited in line to place your order, mostly paying attention to your phone as you swiped through various apps. It wasn’t until you looked up and took a quick glance around the busy shop that you realized you should really pay more attention to what you were doing.

She was the last person that you wanted to run into right now. You and Rob may have been in a bad spot currently, but just seeing her sitting there sent your blood boiling. You knew that no matter what, you would never be okay with someone who hurt him the way that she had. Yes, you and Julia had been friendly; you sort of had to be given the fact that she was so important to Rob. But, when push came to shove, you would always side with Rob. Even now, you considered approaching her to tell her what a horrible person she was for what she did to him. Even now, after the way Rob had treated you, you were still willing to defend him.

You decided not to though. Things were already messy, and you knew that there was always the possibility of making things worse.

You focused on placing your order with the barista, trying hard not to stare in Julia’s direction. You held back, knowing you shouldn’t even acknowledge her.

You waited impatiently for your coffee. She was sitting behind you now and you prayed that she wouldn’t notice you or at least she’d ignore you. You could feel her stare though; and when your order was ready, you grabbed it quickly and turned to make a hasty exit before she could even acknowledge you. You didn’t get two steps in when you heard her call out to you.

“Y/N?” Julia asked. You turned toward her slightly and she looked right at you, knowing damn well that it was you. She held a crooked grin on her face, almost happy to see you as if she were running into an old friend for the first time in a long time. You knew you couldn’t ignore her; so you glanced over to her quickly. “Y/N, it’s been a long time.”

“”Uh, yeah,” you replied, not sure how you should approach the situation. Why she was talking to you right now was beyond you. You were always just Rob’s friend. There was no reason for her to pretend to be friendly with you after everything.

“It’s good to see you.”

“I wish I could say the same,” you blurted out.

She let out a chuckle, “Okay, I deserved that.”

You stood there awkwardly, wanting to say so much to her, but not knowing if it was your place to do so anymore. She had hurt him deeply, and your immediate instinct was to defend your friend; that is, until you remembered that he wasn’t your friend anymore.

“Sit down,” Julia said as she pointed to the chair across from her, “please.”

You should have walked away. There was no reason for either of you to be here in this moment. But, you did as she asked. If nothing else, maybe you could talk and you could gain a better understanding of why she had done what she had done.

“I know that you must hate me. I get it. Sometimes, I hate me too.”

You remained silent, not sure of what to even say to her at this point. She took your awkward silence as her cue to speak.

“You know, that whole thing was a mess. And I know that you know all about it, probably every detail. That was always one thing that I had a hard time with when it came to him; he never held anything back when it came to you.”

“He and I have known each other for a lot longer than he knew you. Of course he tells me things that he wouldn’t tell most people.” You spoke plainly, almost defensively as she seemed to be calling you out on your closeness with Rob.

“That was always our biggest downfall,” she chuckled.

“Look, I don’t know what you want from me,” you said. “Normal people would just ignore their exes friends, I mean, you and I talked or whatever. But we were not friends. You don’t have to acknowledge me just because you see me.”

“No, I know. I just- saw you and immediately wondered how you were doing.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re important to Rob, and I know that you probably know more than anyone else.”

“You have no idea.”

“Is he- is he doing okay?” You could swear that she looked almost regretful as she asked. It was as if she actually cared if he was okay, nevermind the fact that the only reason he wouldn’t be okay was because of what she had done.

“You cheated on him. He’s sensitive. You can probably imagine that he’s not great.”

“I’m not going to downplay what I did. I know what I did, and it wasn’t my proudest moment. But, I think it was all for the best.”

“Really?” You asked, feeling yourself become slightly more irritated with her. “You think that destroying that man was for the best.”

“He was hardly destroyed,” she chuckled. “A little sad, sure. But, come on, he was waiting for a reason to end that whole thing.”

“What?”

“We weren’t exactly in a good spot. I think he was just sticking around because it was something comfortable.”

“He never said things weren’t good. I thought the two of you were doing really well.”

“He wouldn’t. He’s good at pretending.”

“Well, I’m an idiot. Of course things weren’t good. You cheated on him. I’d say that one of you was a terrible person.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t the best way to handle anything. But, people do crazy things when they’re feeling neglected and alone. When everything feels like a lie, it’s hard not to turn to someone else.”

“What are you talking about?” You raised your voice slightly. “He was good to you. He loved you.”

“No, I don’t doubt all of that. He was good to me, and I suppose he did love me. But, he wasn’t happy. He didn’t love me the way that he always loved you.”

“Excuse me?” Your voice faltered, her words hitting you directly in a way that you hadn’t expected. You had heard the same thing from Ruth. Apparently this was not news to anyone else. Hearing Julia say it to your face felt a whole lot different though. You had no reason to feel guilty of anything; but you did in this moment.

“Oh come on,” she said with a forced laugh. “Even you had to have seen it all this time. Rob and I were never going to work, not when you were still in his life.”

You stared at her, shocked and unable to react.

“He must have really played the heartbreak well,” she continued.

“This has nothing to do with me.”

“It was always about you,” she stated seriously. Her usual sly grin was replaced with a stoic stare. “He was so fucking in love with you, I couldn’t compete. Even when he realized that he couldn’t have you, he never really moved on. Do you know what that’s like? Being with someone who loves you less than he loves his best friend? Being with someone who compares you to the woman that he couldn’t have? Don’t ever think that I didn’t love him; but, he settled. He decided to love me just enough to consider marrying me because he couldn’t have what he really wanted.”

“That’s a horrible thing to think,” you sputtered. “I know Rob, probably better than anyone. He’s not that guy. He did love you, he still does. You hurt him.”

“I’m certainly not going to pretend that I didn’t do something horrible, or that he wasn’t hurt in all of this. But, I lived with him, and every person has a side to them that we don’t always know about. Honestly, you’re blind if you really didn’t see it.”

“Why does everyone think that he was in love with me?”

“If everyone thinks it, maybe it’s not so crazy.”

“He never- he never said anything to me. He never did anything.”

“Really?” She replied. “Even after things ended with us?”

You started to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. Julia had never been your friend. You were friendly because of Rob, but once things ended with them, there had never been a reason for you to even speak to the woman again.

Here she was though; saying what everyone else had been saying. You wanted to tell her that nothing ever happened between you and Rob, that she and everyone else had been reading the entire thing all wrong.

“I thought for sure he’d make his move on you,” she continued.

“I should go,” you said as you picked up your belongings and stood up. You clumsily scooted your chair out, nearly knocking it over and spilling your coffee as you worked at making a hasty exit. You couldn’t tell her that Rob had in fact made his move, you didn’t want to tell her. You didn’t even want to acknowledge it yourself anymore.

“Sure,” she replied. “It was nice to see you.”

You left quickly, not saying another word, not looking back. You felt your chest ache as you walked, tears forming in your eyes and you forced them back. You were tired of crying over Rob and your friends and this entire mess. Julia’s words replayed in your mind and your heart broke. You didn’t want to believe her, you didn’t want to think that you could have been the one to unknowingly cause problems in their relationship. She had seen it though, so had everyone else around you apparently.

How you could have been so blind to the way Rob felt about you escaped you. You didn’t understand how you could have missed it given how close you were to him. You thought back to the way he had turned to you. He had been so sad, so devastated; that he asked you to be the one to comfort him. You subconsciously kicked yourself. Of course he wouldn’t have turned to just anyone with what he had wanted. He trusted you and apparently had wanted to be with you. He had managed to get what he wanted from you, all while pretending that it was only about sex. It wasn’t supposed to be more than that, and it certainly wasn’t supposed to ruin your friendship.

“God, you’re so stupid,” you mumbled to yourself as you continued to walk.

Maybe everyone had been right about what Rob had felt for you for all these years. Now that you reconsidered things and thought back to key moments of your relationship; it sort of made sense. This realization didn’t thrill you though, despite the fact that you had always harbored deeper feelings for him as well. Now, all you could do was wonder what you had done wrong that made him hate you now.


	10. The Truth Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob is confused by Reader’s behavior toward him. They haven’t talked in weeks, and he’s not sure why she’s seems to be so upset with him. When he notices her absence at a convention, his friends give him a rude awakening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve done a few stories in which I switch POV often. It seems to work for the most part and I really wanted to try it again in this particular series because I know everyone always wants to know what the hell is going on in Rob’s brain while the Reader is suffering. Hopefully the POV change works here as well.

**Rob’s POV**

He knew that he couldn’t be the only one to notice that there was someone missing today. In fact, he had heard that she wouldn’t be here at all this weekend. It was unusual for Y/N to back out of a convention weekend like this, so of course he worried. The only problem was that she wasn’t talking to him for some reason and he was now struggling with how to approach his worries.

The two of them had last parted on a not-so-good note. To be fair, Rob had called her mostly because he thought she’d be okay with hooking up again. Unfortunately for him, he seemed to have read their arrangement wrong. He had joked with her and the entire thing really seemed to upset her. The last thing he had heard from her was her telling him to ‘fuck off’ and for him to leave her alone. 

Rob had spent a long time wondering where things had went so wrong. Usually, he and Y/N could joke around about anything and neither of them had ever let those jokes go too far. He couldn’t help but feel as if maybe he had pushed her too far this time though. Any attempt at texting her since that incident had gone ignored and he felt it was best to just shut up and avoid pissing her off even more. Now, they hadn’t spoken in far too long and he really didn’t have a clue as to what she was up to and where she was. The entire situation between them bothered him. They had never gone this long without talking or hanging out; and he understood that maybe the fact that the dynamic of their friendship had changed simply because he turned to her with something he had never approached her with before. Sex wasn’t supposed to complicate things. He knew deep down that it inevitably would, but he had just hoped that they were close enough that they could do it without letting it affect their relationship.

He also couldn't’ help but feel as if Y/N was regretting that it had happened. Why else would she be avoiding him like this?

Rob sat in his hotel room, staring at her name on his phone as he considered if it would be worth it to call her or even text her. All attempts lately at contacting her had been pointless. She was angry and she was not giving in. It wasn’t that he was trying to get a hold of her now simply for sex. Perhaps he had taken advantage of the few times that she had agreed to it, and he only assumed that she was tired of every phone call leading up to him asking to come over or inviting her over. Now, he just wanted to try to fix things between them. He didn’t know if they could ever go back to what they had been, and even though he sort of really didn’t want to go back to that, he knew it was better to have her in his life as a friend than to not have her at all.

 _‘She just needs some more time to cool down,’_ he told himself as he tossed his phone on his bed. He wasn’t sure how long he could be patient with her while she took that time; but based on the way that she had yelled at him, he had to give her all the time that she needed.

Rob thought back to the way he had treated her the last time they ever spoke face-to-face. He admitted to himself that he had been a dick. He had purposefully ignored her that weekend and panicked when she finally confronted him about it. He maybe said some things that he didn’t mean, things that he shouldn’t have said, not to her. At the time, he really did feel like he needed some space. He needed time to be alone to figure things out. He had made a colossal mess out of his relationship with Julia, even if she had been the one to cheat on him in the end. At the very least, he had seen it coming. Truthfully, he had almost been relieved when it did happen.

No one aside from Rich knew about how unhappy he had been in the end. Not even Y/N knew that he and Julia were a mess. How could he tell his best friend that his relationship was shit and that he knew it would end, and it was mostly because of her?

Rob had spent far too long hanging on, trying to force himself to be happy; but it had all been in vain. Even Julia understood that she wasn’t what he wanted. For some reason though, she held on for a little too long as well. Something told Rob that perhaps she wanted to get caught. Someone had to end that whole thing, and maybe she was just the one with enough guts to do something to ensure that they never went through with getting married. His devastation over the entire thing was not faked. It honestly hurt. He had honestly cared about Julia a great deal.

* * *

When Rob eventually made his way to the convention and entered the green room, he saw that most everyone was accounted for. Everyone except for Y/N. His friends seemed to be going about their business unfazed, and he had to wonder why no one seemed to care that one very important person was missing.

“Does anyone know where Y/N is?”

“I thought you weren’t talking to her,” Briana replied.

“I mean, well- we haven’t actually talked in a while. But, that’s just because things are kind of in a weird place right now. She just- didn’t say anything about cancelling this weekend.”

“If you paid attention to anything, you’d know that she’s stopped doing conventions altogether,” Ruth chimed in. She gave Rob a displeased look, almost as if she were blaming him for it. “Pretty soon she’ll be done with the show too. No reason for her to stick around.”

“What?” Rob asked with a scowl. “How did I not know about this?”

“Rob, when was the last time you even talked to her?” Rich asked.

“It’s- been a little while. She was upset with me and she’s been ignoring me.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Asked Ruth.

“She’s my best friend,” Rob replied, “why would I want that?”

Ruth shrugged, shaking her head at him. “I don’t know. Maybe because of whatever happened between the two of you and the fact that you told her to back off.”

“It’s probably for the best that she’s gone,” Briana cut in.

“Whoa, how is it for the best?” Rob was caught off guard by Briana’s statement. Yes, things had been a mess lately between them, but he still cared about her. She was still his friend. “She’s a part of all of this, and now she’s just gone. Why would she just leave the show?”

“Maybe it’s the fact that everyone here, aside from a handful of us, has been treating her like absolute garbage for weeks… including the man who calls her his best friend,” Mark added.

“Well, I mean, maybe it’s more ideal to not have a homewrecker hanging around every weekend,” Briana replied defensively. She turned her attention back to Rob once Mark chose to remain silent. “Besides, I thought you realized your mistake and decided to cut her out of your life. That’s why you haven’t been talking to her, right?”

“Maybe you’re all calling her a homewrecker for no good reason,” Mark replied. He stared at Briana, knowing full well that a lot of this was her fault.

“Or maybe I just know more than you do,” she spat back.

“Okay, first of all, why the hell would you call her that?” Rob asked Briana. He was immediately upset that anyone would ever speak poorly of Y/N, especially to that extent. He turned back to Mark, not waiting for Briana’s reply, “ And, what are you talking about? I have not been treating her like garbage.” By this point, Rob was completely confused. Where had all of this come from? Why would their friends be arguing back and forth like this, some of them calling her names?

“Rob, we all know that you slept with her,” Briana chuckled. “You’ve also been ignoring her.”

Rob whipped his head toward Rich, staring him down since he knew that Rich had been the only person that he had ever talked to about all of that.

“I didn’t say anything!” Rich shouted.

“I overheard it,” Briana said.

“So what, you just go around telling everyone else what you heard? It’s not your business, but what does that have to do with anything anyway? And, I have been avoiding everyone. I’m just- going through some shit and it was not my intent to make you all think that I hate her or something.”

“Really? You cheated on Julia with her and you don’t think that’s a big deal? You don’t think that we all saw how you changed with Y/N?”

“What? I didn’t-” Rob found himself completely baffled and caught off-guard again. How in the world Briana had come to that conclusion was beyond him. “I never cheated on her. She’s the one who cheated on me. I walked in on her with someone else, by the way. That’s why things ended. Y/N is my friend. We might have made a mistake and maybe things happened between us, but not until after my engagement ended.”

“He finally says something,” Ruth muttered in relief.

“What the hell?” He said in frustration. “What is going on?”

“Rob, this entire time since things ended with Julia, everyone has been talking about how you cheated on her with Y/N. I’ve heard nothing but horrible things from everyone. It didn’t matter what Y/N said or what Mark or myself said; everyone thought that Y/N had ruined your relationship.”

“You all thought that Y/N would do something like that? That I would do something like that?”

“Well, I saw her leave your room that one morning,” Briana blurted out. “I saw the two of you kiss outside the bar. We all saw how things had changed between the two of you, and then suddenly your engagement has ended and it’s over with Julia. You said that whole thing was all your fault. Obviously you fucked up by cheating…  right?”

Rob let out a frustrated sigh, pressing his fingertips into his temples as he felt a headache coming on because of how ludicrous all of this was.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He began with a flustered laugh. “I left Julia because she cheated on me. I was feeling a little devastated, so I turned to Y/N because I care about her so much and I knew that she would be there for me. We slept together. It just happened. That’s the timeline. She didn’t break me and Julia up. She had nothing to do with any of that.”

“Whoopsie,” Briana muttered as she hung her head.

“Wait, why would you all treat her so badly and talk about her like this if I had been the one who cheated? No one is treating me any differently.”

“Maybe we made a lot of assumptions,” Kim replied. “Just- given what we thought the situation was… we figured she knew that you were into her and that she was the one who moved in and messed things up.”

“Why would you blame yourself for things going wrong? If you didn’t fuck up, what happened?” Briana asked.

“That’s an entirely different thing…I’m not getting into that. I just- can’t believe that you guys really think that Y/N and I could be capable of something like that?” Rob felt himself blush, knowing damn well that it had been his own fault that things had turned to shit between Julia and now Y/N.

“Well, it was unbelievable to say the least… which is why it was so shocking,” Kim replied. “But it kinda made sense, since- you know, you’ve been in love with her for so long.”

“What?” Rob asked, looking just as surprised by the statement as he felt. He thought that whatever he had felt toward Y/N all these years had been hidden pretty well. But, here he was, being called out by his friends over the fact that him cheating on his fiancee was completely plausible because they all knew that he was in love with Y/N.

“Don’t act dense,” Kim spat. “Actually, we were all shocked that you proposed to Julia in the first place. None of us ever thought that you’d get over Y/N.”

“I’m not- I wasn’t-” Rob stumbled through his words, trying to say that he was not and had never been in love with her. That was ridiculous. He was too old for her and she was too good for him.

“If you really thought we didn’t see it, you’re dumber than we thought.” Briana said.

Rob stayed quiet for some time; letting their words replay, allowing them to call him out on something that he knew was absolutely true.

Yes, he had always been in love with Y/N. But, even he understood that she was too young for him, too pretty for him, too perfect for him. He knew that he had to at least do what he could to keep her as a friend, because she meant the world to him. He figured that by dating other people and eventually getting into a serious relationship, he could move on from those feelings he had for her. It had worked to an extent. He really had cared for Julia a great deal. Hell, he was ready to marry the woman. When Julia had realized that Rob was never going to get over Y/N completely, things had gone sideways. If only his friends understood just how unhappy they had been at the end, maybe all of this would make more sense. At the same time, Rob didn’t want to seem like that guy. He didn’t want to be the asshole. So, he had stuck it out until it was Julia who eventually couldn’t handle it anymore.

He didn’t hate her for what she had done; god knows he saw it coming. And, he had been a bit relieved when it finally did. None of that made it hurt any less though.

“Look,” Rob began as he looked around the room at his friends,” it’s all complicated and I wish things hadn’t gone differently. But, please don’t think that Y/N is to blame for my fuck up. Because this entire thing is my fuck up.”

“Jesus Rob,” Briana breathed out. “Some of us really did treat her like shit. We really thought that she had messed things up. She always looked so guilty…”

“I just- I can’t believe that she didn’t just come out and tell the truth. I asked her not to say anything, because I was embarrassed. But, everyone was thinking so terribly of her… and she never just told the truth?”

“She was hellbent on protecting you,” Ruth said quietly. “Even if it made her look bad.”

Rob made eye contact with her, noting the sadness in her eyes.

“All those years that you were secretly in love with her… maybe those feelings weren’t unrequited like you insist they are.”

Rob hung his head, staring at the floor as he let it all sink in. He really had made a mess out of things. He knew that he needed to fix it all, and he had made the first step in that by finally explaining things to everyone. Now, he wondered what he could do to at least fix things with Y/N.


	11. The Friendships That End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is suddenly bombarded with ex friends trying to contact her. She’s only trying to move on from it all. Someone shows up to apologize, but will she let them?

Now that you had completely removed yourself from the entire situation that had caused you so much trouble, you had to admit, you were already starting to feel better. Yes, the worst of it was that you still hadn’t spoken to Rob in a very long time. It honestly felt like you had lost a large part of yourself with the way that had all ended. You still had Ruth and even Mark who took the time to check in on you and your new adventures. It wasn’t the same circle of friends that you had started with, but you were thankful to at least have them sticking with you.

You were still bitter over the way Rob had treated you, and the way that he had taken your song and recorded it on Jason’s album. It seemed that no matter how hard you tried to push thoughts of him from your mind, they infiltrated their way back without you being able to avoid it. Sometimes, you’d just think about how angry you were with him; and sometimes, you’d think about how much you really missed him.

To keep yourself from thinking about the entire thing, you had finally agreed to work with Jason. He had been bugging you for years about recording an album; and now that you were jobless, it seemed like the perfect time to do so. You had selected a few covers that you wanted to record and even worked on writing some originals. Singing with the band st SNS concerts had always been fun, but getting the opportunity to work on this yourself was an even better feeling.

You hadn’t expected a lot of things though. You should have guessed that Jason would invite Billy along to play guitar for the album. You felt sort of uncomfortable at first having one of Rob’s friends working with you on this, but your uneasiness faded when you reminded yourself that all of your friends were also Rob’s friends. There was no avoiding it, and at least Billy and Jason didn’t let the rumors and drama get in the way of working their asses off for your album.

The last thing you expected though, was to suddenly have Rob try to contact you again. He had backed off like you had asked him to, and honestly, it was sort of hurtful that he stopped trying to make things right completely. You hadn’t heard from him in a long time and just assumed that this was the end of any shred of friendship the two of you might have had left between you.

Today, you were holed up in the studio with Jason. After you had decided to leave the show and had already filmed your final episode, you knew it was time to move on and do something new. You could no longer do the whole convention thing, not with the way everyone else had been treating you. So, you decided to take Jason’s advice and work on music for a while. For a long time, you had people around you tell you that you needed to record; and aside from the cover that you had done for Jason’s last album, you had never focused on music before.

You were taking a short break, having lunch when you got the first phone call. You scrunched up your face when you saw Rob’s name appear on your phone. You were suddenly overcome with sadness again, and a hint of anger. You hadn’t completely moved past how he had treated you, and you still blamed him for the way everyone else seemed to turn on you. A small part of you wanted to answer, just to hear his voice again. But, as you stared at the screen, you thought better of putting yourself through whatever it was that he wanted to put you through and rejected the call.

You turned back to your lunch only to receive a text message immediately after. You felt your heart race and ache at the same time; hurt that he was still willing to put you through this. You forced yourself not to even read the message, no matter how much you sort of wanted to.

“Let me guess,” Jason said as he watched you. “Rob?”

You glanced up at him, having nearly forgotten that he was there. You were so lost in thought over why Rob was trying to contact you so suddenly.

“Yeah,” you mumbled. You tossed your phone aside, not wanting to give in to reading his text or listen to the voicemail that had popped up.

“You’re not going to answer him?”

“No,” you said simply.

“Maybe he’s calling to apologize.”

“I doubt it. Even if that was the case, the apology would come too late.”

“Look, I don’t know what happened between the two of you,” Jason began. He moved to sit next to you on the couch that you occupied, nudging you playfully with a smile. “But, I do know that I hate seeing you not talking. Whatever went on has been eating at him, and it’s obviously still getting to you. Maybe it’s better to just face it and talk about it.”

“Look, I would love to just magically fix things between us, I really would. The problem is that I know exactly why he’s calling me. I know why he feels the need to apologize. I guarantee that I open that text message and there’s an ‘I’m sorry’ right there. But, if he’s saying sorry now, it’s only because he wants something.”

“You’re still mad about him stealing your song,” Jason said with a soft smile. You chuckled, amused that he was at least attempting to keep the mood light.

“Don’t even get me started on the song.”

He smiled at you again and kept quiet. He was probably the one person who didn’t know a lot about what was going on. Luckily, he had kept himself out of it. You were grateful for that at least.

* * *

After a long day in the studio, you returned to the quiet of your home. It had been the same lately; you kept yourself busy with work all day, and stayed in every night. The things you used to do no longer seemed relevant now. You enjoyed the time to yourself.

You changed into something comfortable and called in an order for delivery. Normally, on a Friday night, you would be out with friends; having dinner and drinks. You didn’t have many friends any more. And, the one friend that you used to spend all your time with was no longer in the picture.

You still hadn’t moved on completely from the falling out with Rob. In fact, the occasional thoughts of him still hurt. On nights like this, you were constantly struggling with the thoughts that maybe you should call him and see if this wasn’t something the two of you could fix. You had been so close for so long, it was physically painful to not have him in your life anymore.

Tonight, the usual need to call or text had all but disappeared since he seemed to be desperately trying to contact you. The phone calls and texts hadn’t stopped today. Every call went to voicemail; messages that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. Every text went unread. And, with each one that came through on your phone; the pain that you had felt through all of this only intensified.

You considered Jason’s words again. Maybe Rob was trying to call to apologize. But, you’d remember how every call and text from him leading up to the moment when he stopped talking to you had only been about one thing. You never viewed him as that guy. It was never a worry in your relationship that he could be using you. Until he was anyway.

You sat on your couch, watching TV as you ate your lonely meal. The delivery boy had become your best friend as of late; always adding a few extra fortune cookies to your order when he dropped it off. You carefully picked one of the cookies, cracking it open and reading the little slip of paper inside.

 _“The friendship that came to an end, never really began,”_ you read out loud to yourself. You frowned, feeling the sting of that one. Tossing the paper aside, you made a mental note to maybe lay off of the emotionally taxing takeout for a while.

Just as you had found a comfortable position on the couch and began to get lost in some reality TV show that you had turned it to, there was a soft knock at the front door. You got up from the couch and padded over to the door carefully looking through the peephole and wondering who on earth would be showing up at your place at this hour.

Seeing Briana standing on the other side of your door was unexpected though. You pulled back quickly, holding your breath as your heart began to race. The last person that you wanted to see, even more than Rob, was Briana. It wouldn’t be a lie for you to say that she had played a big part in making your life hell recently.

Your panic turned to anger as you stepped away from the door, hoping that she would just think you weren’t home. You really didn’t need to hear any more from her, so you stayed quiet.

“Y/N, I know you’re home,” you heard her say, her voice almost muffled from the outside of the door. “Your car is here and the lights are on.”

You stayed quiet, not really knowing what to say to her right now.

“Look,” she continued. “I owe you an apology. A huge apology. I was so horrible to you. Please, if you can hear me, let me apologize for real.”

Although you were still angry with her and very upset, your curiosity about what she was saying got the best of you. You hesitantly opened the door just a crack and peeked out at her. She gave you a sympathetic smile when she saw you finally.

“Can I come in?” She asked. You hesitated again before opening the door further for her. She walked in and you closed the door behind her, your heart still racing as you turned to face her. It had been a long time since you had seen her as well, and you hadn’t parted on good terms with anyone.

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you, but you won’t answer my calls and messages.”

“Forgive me if I was trying to avoid being treated like shit again,” you replied flatly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” she replied sheepishly, a look of instant regret washing over her face.

You shrugged, trying to hold back the tears that you had spent so much time pushing away.

“It doesn’t matter,” you said. “It is what it is.”

“You left the show,” she pointed out. “And the cons.”

You nodded, still not sure if you were ready to have this conversation with her.

“Why?”

“I didn’t really have much to stick around for,” you said dryly.

She guiltily stared down at the floor for a moment before responding.

“I am so sorry. I made a huge mistake. I just saw what was going on, overheard some things, and acted without thinking. I should’ve talked to you instead.”

“I get it,” you responded. “I know it all looked really bad from the outside. It’s my own fault really.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Thank you for apologizing,” you said quickly. “I appreciate it. But, it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t fix anything.”

“We all know what really happened. Rob told us everything.”

You glanced up at her, feeling yourself start to tear up again at her words. Rob had apparently finally come clean about it all.

“He was so upset that you weren’t there last weekend. He didn’t even know that you had quit.”

“Yeah, sure,” you said as you rolled your eyes.

“No, really. He’s really worried and he feels terrible.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Hasn’t he been trying to get a hold of you?”

“I don’t read his texts,” you replied, “and I certainly don’t answer his calls or listen to his voicemails.”

“Maybe you should…”

“Stop it!” You shouted. You felt your face flush with anger. None of it mattered anymore. The persistence of Briana and even Jason saying that you needed to hear Rob out didn’t matter. You understood what all of this was. “It’s over. Nothing that he has to say to me is worth listening to.”

“Maybe it is though.”

“No! Do you have any idea what it’s like to have your best friend hate you? Do you know how it feels to be close to someone for so long only to have a stupid mistake destroy everything? He got what he wanted from me, there’s no reason to put myself through having to see him again.”

“Because you still love him and he hurt you?”

“I don’t love him like that. He was my friend.”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I mean, I don’t sleep with my friends.”

“Oh, so you’re still judging me?”

“No, I just- The two of you love each other.”

Before you could respond, she held a hand up to silence you.

“Shut it,” she demanded. “We all know that he’s always been crazy about you. We all assumed you felt the same way. We also figured that maybe it wasn’t meant to be for the two of you, especially not when Julia came into the picture.”

“That’s not what it was.”

“Really? So, you’re saying that you didn’t hate Julia when they met? You were okay with how things progressed between them?”

“It was none of my business,” you said. You turned from her, making your way back to the couch where you sat down. You were frustrated now and sort of hated that she was here to dredge all of this up again.

Briana followed you, taking a seat on the other side of the couch. She stayed quiet for a moment, glancing around the room as she considered what to say next.

“He loves you,” she began finally. “I don’t know details about what happened, but I do know that he’s a mess right now over whatever he did to you.”

“Look,” you said with a sigh, “thank you for apologizing. Really, it means a lot. Maybe I’m too forgiving, but I sort of don’t hate you for the things you did anymore. Rob however… that’s all between me and him. Honestly, I don’t know that anything can fix all of that.”

“You wanna talk about it?” She offered. “I mean, he sort of did. But, none of us know what happened exactly. He just stuck up for you is all, he didn’t explain anything really.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Talking about it only makes it hurt more. I’m just trying to move on from it.”

“Okay, I get it,” she replied. “I still think you should hear him out, but I suppose that’s up to you.”

The two of you sat in silence for a bit longer. Neither of you looked at each other, neither of you really knew what to say. You had at least accepted her apology, but you both knew that not everything had been fixed. She had hurt you terribly, and she understood that. While you were too forgiving for your own good sometimes, you knew it was going to take a lot more work than this to ever fully forgive her. You couldn’t be certain, but you assumed that she knew that maybe the two of you would never be the same again. Realizing how uncomfortable you felt with her being here, even after the apology; you also knew that there was a strong possibility that your past friendships were going to stay just that. In the past.

When she realized that things here were not magically back to normal, she finally decided to leave. She had done her part; admitting that she was wrong and telling you to your face that she was sorry. She had left the rest on you; to decide if forgiveness was something you could do wholeheartedly, or if you had simply accepted the apology but weren’t willing to try to go back to normal.

You said nothing as you watched her gather herself to leave. She glances down at your coffee table and noticed a small slip of paper. She picked it up and read it, letting it rest between her fingertips as she sucked in a breath. She dropped it back to the table and turned toward you.

“I hope you’re not one of those people who takes advice from fortune cookies,” she said.

You smiled at her and shrugged, having nothing else to say to her. If only she knew how accurate your fortunes had been lately.


	12. The One That Got Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob only wants to make things right, but Reader won’t acknowledge him. He turns to the only person that he thinks can help him out; but, now he’s wondering if he’s overstepping.

**Rob’s POV**

Rob considered giving up on trying to contact Y/N. He had done all he could think of at this point. He had sent her text after text, all of which hadn’t even been read; and he had called just to be sent to her voicemail multiple times. He wondered if she was even taking the time to listen to the messages.

He was back home in L.A., sitting at his kitchen table with a cup of coffee and the urge to just show up at her place so that they could sort this out.

He understood, in a way, why she was avoiding him. Things had turned messy rather quickly, especially now that he understood what their friends had been saying about her when he wasn’t paying attention. If only he had taken a moment to think about what all of this had been like for her, maybe he could have intercepted their thoughts of her before it got so out of hand.

He understood that the way he had treated her had been even worse. It wasn’t that he wanted to remove her from his life; it was quite the opposite actually. He had been spending so much time feeling shitty about how things had ended with Julia; heartbroken in a way, but understanding given the fact that he knew it had all been his own fault. 

He decided against visiting her at home. After their last conversation, he knew that he had sounded like a complete asshole and she had certainly sounded like she was done with him. Still, he knew he had to apologize. He knew he had to make things right, and he knew that he couldn’t keep going on without letting her know how he really felt.

He took a long sip of his hot coffee, mulling over the possibilities in his head. He didn’t know much about these kinds of situations, and he was at a loss of how to handle it.

As he was lost in thought, his phone buzzed, indicating that he had a message. He quickly reached for his phone, heart racing and maybe hoping that it was finally Y/N. If it had been, she’d mostly likely tell him to go to hell, but he was willing to take that if it meant she wasn’t ignoring him anymore. He frowned when he saw that it was a text from Briana. Not only had there been a massive falling out between him and Y/N, there had also been an even bigger falling out between her and everyone else; unfortunately, Briana was to blame for most of that. Rob still hadn’t completely forgiven her for how her meddling had helped turn everything to shit, but he was trying.

_Bri: Hey, I stopped by to apologize to Y/N last night. Just thought you should know._

_Rob’s heart stopped as he realized that she had talked to Y/N. He immediately wondered what they had talked about exactly, so he returned her text._

_Rob: How did it go? What did she say?_

_Bri: I think she’s forgiven me mostly. I messed up. She and I have a long way to go if we’re ever going to be friends again._

_Rob: Is that all?_

_Bri: No. We talked about you briefly._

_Rob: Is she going to hear me out? Is there a chance for me to fix this?”_

Rob waited impatiently when Briana didn’t text back right away.

_Bri: I don’t know. She’s pretty hurt by whatever happened between you. She’s insistent that this can’t be fixed._

_Rob: Will you please tell her that I know I messed up? Please tell her to at least listen to me._

_Bri: I don’t think I’m in any place to interfere with all of that. I just barely got her to hear me out, even now I think she still hates me._

_Rob: Okay, thanks anyway._

Rob let out a loud sigh as he placed his phone back on the table. He pinched the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses with his fingertips, already feeling a headache coming on. He knew he couldn’t ask anyone else to speak to her for him, but he was frustrated that he couldn’t get through to her. He was out of options. He double checked the texts that he had sent to her, noting that she still hadn’t even read them.

He opened Twitter, wondering if she had updated anything lately. Maybe he could find a clue as to where she had been and what she had been doing. That was the moment that he realized she had him blocked. He frowned harder, a twinge of pain shooting through him when he realized just how serious she was about keeping him out of her life.

It wasn’t until he was mindlessly scrolling though his feed, that he stopped on a tweet from Jason. His breath caught when he saw the picture of the two of them. They were obviously at the studio, and Jason’s post indicated that they were working on her solo album. Despite the fact that she was the one that he had let slip away, his heart ached a little less as he studied the photo. He felt a sense of pride in the fact that she was finally doing the music thing after all this time, and for the first time in a long time, he was actually smiling. She looked beautiful, and so happy. He paused for a moment, wondering if it was worth it for him to keep trying to contact her when she obviously looked like she was doing well without him.

The feelings that coursed through him as he looked at the picture let him know that he would never be okay if he didn’t make things right. He had already let her slip away, unknowingly treating her like crap, when all he wanted to do was be with her.

Regardless, his attempts to apologize were not for his own sake. He knew he had to do it because that’s what she deserved. She didn’t need to go through life thinking that the one person she thought cared about her more than anyone had simply used her for his own benefit and dropped her as it it hadn’t mattered. Maybe it wasn’t the greatest idea to be so focused on letting her know why all of this had happened in the first place, but Rob needed her to know. He also needed to know if there was the smallest chance that maybe she could forgive him. He needed to know if she felt the same way about him.

Before he could stop himself from making things worse, he was already calling Jason. If no one else could help him get to her, of course Jason could.

* * *

“Absolutely not,” Jason argued after he listened to Rob’s entire spiel. “No way. I’m not getting in the middle of this.”

“Come on man,” Rob pleaded. “All I’m asking is that you let me know when she’s there.”

“Do you realize how stalkery this sounds?”

“Okay, I guess it does sound kinda creepy, but she won’t talk to me. She won’t read my messages and I’m sure she doesn’t listen to my voicemails. Apparently, no one else has even heard from her in weeks. You’re the only one who has.”

“Yeah, because we’re working together.”

“Exactly, you see her more than anyone else.”

“Count me out,” Jason continued. “I refuse to get involved. Why don’t you ask Billy? He’s doing guitar for the album.”

“Okay, it’s a little weird to ask my guitarist to spy on her.”

“But it’s not weird to ask me to do it?” Jason replied. ”I’m a mutual friend! Come on, don’t put me in this position.”

“Just, send me a text when she’s there. That’s all I’m asking for.”

“No, I’m not helping you stalk her.”

“Will you stop saying that? I’m not a stalker. I just- I need her to know how sorry I am. I need to tell her that none of this is her fault.”

Jason stayed quiet for a moment, and Rob hoped this meant he was at least considering helping him out.

“What do ya say, man?”

“No,” he said, still holding his ground.

“I need to tell her that I love her,” Rob spat out. He closed his mouth, wishing that he could take it back. That wasn’t something that he had ever admitted out loud; in fact, he had danced around the idea for far too long. Him being in love with her is what had gotten him into this mess to begin with.

“Look,” Jason started. Rob could almost see him shaking his head in defeat. “I’ll post a selfie of us on Twitter the next time she’s at the studio. That way, you can see that she’s here.”

“Right, then it seems less creepy if I knew she was there because you posted a picture.”

“It’s still creepy, Rob.” Jason reminded him. “But, I think… no, I know that you two love each other. She won’t admit it, but I can see it when she’s here recording. The love is there, but it’s a little broken right now. She’s pretty damn broken and I hate seeing her like this. I hate seeing you like this.”

“Thanks Jay,” Rob replied with a smile.

“Don’t thank me yet. Just- try to fix this, but leave me out of it, okay?”

* * *

Over the next couple of days, Rob kept a close eye on his phone. He was waiting for either a miraculous phone call or text from Y/N; but mostly he was waiting for that fateful tweet that Jason would send out when Y/N was finally back in the studio.

The tweet didn’t come until late that afternoon, two days after his conversation with Jason.

The minute he had confirmation as to where she was, Rob wasted no time in heading out the door.

As he drove to the studio, he realized he didn’t really have a plan. All he knew was that he needed to set things right. Maybe a simple ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t going to fix anything, but he knew he needed to try. Maybe seeing him after all this time would make his feeble attempts at apologizing seem more meaningful. Maybe seeing him would remind her of what they had had before things went sideways.

He sat in his car when he finally arrived at the studio. Sure enough, her car was there and he knew that she was inside, probably recording and feeling incredibly happy now that she had weeded the toxic people from her life. Rob wrestled with the idea that perhaps he was overstepping now. Was it really his right to show up and mess up her life even more? A voice in the back of his head, however, had him thinking about the possibility that she might very well be waiting for the day that he would show up to apologize in person.

Back and forth, his thoughts came. A part of him telling himself that he shouldn’t do this, that she was better off without him in her life; and the other part convincing him that if he didn’t go in there to talk to her, he could lose her forever.

When he couldn’t come to a conclusive decision about what the right thing to do right now would be, he let the optimistic part of his mind take the lead. Gathering what little hope he had left, he opened the door and stepped out of his car.

Rob stopped outside of the recording studio door, his hand resting on the handle as he peered in through the window. There she was. She was smiling and laughing with Jason and the guys who were there to help record the music for her album. He suddenly grew nervous as he realized that she could very well lose her mind when she saw him. She’d probably yell at him and tell him to fuck off, all while their friends watched.

He swallowed hard, now realizing that he probably should have shown up with an actual plan. He probably should have rehearsed what it was that he should say.

As he watched her sitting there, looking stunning and amazingly happy, he knew that only one thing mattered right now. He had to tell her that he loved her, even if he couldn’t manage a proper ‘I’m sorry’ or an explanation.


	13. The Things We Can't Fix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader doesn’t react to seeing Rob the way that he had hoped she would. Can he really blame her? In a state of confusion and maybe desperation, Reader calls someone even she didn’t expect to call. Will the advice given fall on deaf ears?

**Rob’s POV**

He wasn’t really sure what he expected when he showed up out of the blue while she was working. He knew what he had hoped for, but that dream was short lived when she actually saw him.

He hadn’t even entered the room yet, but she happened to glance up suddenly; her face dropping when she saw him standing just outside the door. She paused briefly, as if to take a moment to think about whether this was real or not. Before she could react, Rob figured it was now or never.

He hesitantly opened the door and stepped into the room. He stopped in the doorway, giving her an awkward wave and a smile, unsure of what he was even supposed to do right now. His heart raced upon seeing her again. It had been a long time, and while he had tried to use that time away from her to convince himself that he didn’t love her, he knew that had been in vain.

“What is he doing here?” Y/N asked coldly, whipping her head to face Jason. She stared at him with daggers in her eyes, nearly on the brink of tears and Rob knew that maybe he had gone about this all wrong. Seeing the instant look of pain in her expression, the accusing stare at Jason as if to say ‘you did this, this is your fault’, was almost too much to handle. 

“I don’t know,” Jason replied, holding up his hands in defeat, “I swear I had nothing to do with this.”

Y/N’s eyes turned to Billy; panicked and looking for someone to blame.

“It’s no one’s fault,” Rob began. “No one told me to show up, I’m here on my own.”

She said nothing. She sat there in what seemed to be shock for a moment, her eyes welling up as she considered what to do next. Rob knew he had to say something, but standing here with her looking so upset and the guys staring at him as if to ask what the hell he was thinking; he froze.

Perhaps no one else had expected her pained reaction; because Jason was quickly at her defense even though he had been somewhat in on Rob’s plan to show up here.

“You want me to make him leave?” He asked.

Y/N shook her head, a movement that had Rob believing for a split second that maybe she was willing to hear him out. It wasn’t until she was standing and reaching for her bag that he realized he was wrong. She stumbled slightly as she tried to gather herself, heading straight for the door. She pushed past Rob, not even daring to look at him as she darted out of the building.

“I told you this was a bad idea,” Jason mumbled.

Rob didn’t respond. He knew that Jason was right. But, that didn’t stop him from turning around and chasing Y/N down.

By the time he made it outside, Y/N was a good few feet ahead of him, walking briskly as Rob realized he’d have to run to keep up with her. So, that’s what he did. When he began to close up on her, that’s when he started calling out to her. He was panicked as he shouted her name. Panicked because she sped up, trying to get away from him.

“Y/N, please stop,” Rob begged when he reached her. She had been fumbling with her car keys, allowing Rob to finally catch up with her. He held onto the car door as she tried to open it, stopping her in her tracks. He didn’t want to be so weird about it, but he needed her to hear him out.

Y/N still didn’t respond. She didn’t tell him to fuck off, she didn’t ask him to stop; she stood there, defeated and crying now that he was right there in front of her.

“I know you don’t want to see me right now,” he said as he reached out for her. He wanted to touch her, hold her, something. But, the way that she flinched and avoided his touch made him stop. “But, I needed to see you. I have a lot that I need to say to you.”

She didn’t speak still, and she didn’t stop trying to push past him to get into her car. Rob knew that he couldn’t stand here and force her to listen to him; she was upset and he was already crossing a line just by following her. He decided that this was the moment that he needed to tell her finally. The want to apologize had to be pushed back for now. The most important thing that he could do was to tell her how he felt.

“I love you,” he said finally. The words rolled off his tongue effortlessly. It was as if he should have been saying that all this time. It wasn’t like the times he had told his ex the same thing; it sounded different as he offered those words to her. “I love you and I’m sorry.”

At least he managed to fit a small apology into the moment; which was easy considering that she wasn’t yelling at him just yet.

She still didn’t respond. Rob watched her expression, waiting for something… anything to change. It didn’t though. She stared off blankly for some time before she finally spoke.

“Please move,” she muttered. Rob’s heart sank. That was certainly not what he had hoped for. He wanted to make her stay there, at least until she responded to the fact that he had just admitted his love for her; but he knew that he couldn’t.

He hesitantly stepped aside, giving her just enough space to open the car door quickly and slide in. She slammed the door closed behind her and started the engine. That was it. Nothing else. She didn’t so much as glance at him as she drove off, leaving Rob standing alone in the parking lot like and idiot.

* * *

**Reader’s POV**

The last thing you wanted from today was for Rob to just show up at the studio like that. It had been your understanding that he wanted nothing to do with you anymore, unless he was simply looking for someone to hook-up with. Knowing that you couldn’t keep giving in to that part of your relationship had been what caused you to end it all completely. It had become too much. You cared for him a lot more than you let on, and he had gotten to a point of taking advantage of that.

The apology for the way he had treated you had come to late. The worst of it was the fact that he had used the ‘L’ word. Hearing him say it hurt worse than anything else.

Leave it to him to turn it all into a joke.

You drove yourself home in a haze of tears. You hadn’t considered what it would really be like to be face-to-face with him again after all this time, and you were not prepared for it. You were filled with sadness and a hint of rage. You replayed his short apology in your mind, unsure of what he had meant to accomplish by it.

You focused more of your anger on Jason and Billy; two people who were mutual friends of you and Rob, both of who could have very well played a part in setting this whole thing up.

It’s not that you wanted to go the rest of your life not seeing or hearing from Rob ever again. God knows the last few months had been tough enough. You were more upset about the fact that he had blindsided you, humiliating you in front of other people; all without even admitting that he had been wrong.

Maybe Briana had been right. Maybe you should have given him a chance. Maybe you should hear him out. After all, he had spent a lot of time trying to speak to you; and no matter how much you ignored him, he didn’t give up. You wondered if maybe you were the one making a mistake now.

None of this stopped you from feeling the pain over having to see him again. A part of you had been happy to see him; but something else reminded you of the way he had treated you- that part had won out in the heat of the moment. You were still seething as you recalled how things had gone the last few times you had spoke to him. Not only had things ended on such a low note, for the first time ever; you had been used by your best friend. You really didn’t think that any form of apology could stop the way you felt about that.

Confused and desperate, you did the only thing you could think of when you got home. You called the only person who had actually stuck by your side through everything. When Ruth didn’t answer, you knew it was because she was busy on set. The chances of her finding time to call you back today were pretty slim.

When the silence of your own home became too much for you, especially with the way your conflicting thoughts were racing, you decided to call someone else. You weren’t sure why you chose Briana of all people; after all, she had been the worst lately. You still blamed her for the way everyone else had treated you; the lies and rumors concerning something that she knew absolutely nothing about, and the reason why you ultimately decided to leave a huge part of your life behind. However, she had seemed sincere in her apology. At least she made the effort to find you and admit that she had been wrong. It certainly didn’t fix anything; but you figured, if nothing else, she at least owed it to you to shut up and listen to you for once.

Briana seemed surprised when she answered your call, and perhaps slightly thrilled that you had called.

“Y/N,” she exclaimed as she picked up.

“Hey, yeah, it’s me,” you replied. You began to pace through your living room, now questioning what you were even calling her for in the first place.

“What’s up?” She asked excitedly. You could be wrong, but she seemed thrilled to have you on the phone. Perhaps months of not talking and the fact that she was probably certain she had ruined your friendship beyond repair had her excited that you were even reaching out to her.

“I was just- wondering if you had a minute.”

“I always have a minute for you. What’s going on?”

You took a deep breath and told her the entire story; the way Rob had showed up at the studio, how he chased you down, and more importantly what he had said to you. Briana listened patiently, allowing you to vent.

“He finally told you he loves you,” she said once you had finished. “I know you don’t believe anyone when we say that he’s always loved you, but I hope this entire thing confirms it.”

“I’ve known for a while,” you admitted. “I ran into Julia not too long ago. Long story short, apparently I am the reason their relationship went to hell.”

“Y/N, you didn’t do anything,” Briana replied. “I don’t know what she said to you, but Rob told us all the truth. What happened between the two of you after their split, didn’t ruin anything.”

“It ruined our friendship,” you replied, choking back more tears. “Bri, she told to my face that this was all my fault. If I had just removed myself from his life back then, none of this would have happened.”

“What did she say to you?”

“Basically that things were tough between them because Rob never got over me,” you chuckled. You were still having a hard time processing that piece of information, mostly because you had been blind to it all. “I didn’t even know how he felt about me, and I still ruined his relationship.”

“Listen to me,” Briana said firmly. “Do not blame yourself for all of that. That’s on Rob. Look, he’s the sweetest guy I know, but he’s an idiot. He always thought that he’d never have a chance with you, that’s why he found someone else. He tried to move on and he failed.”

“How did I get dragged into this?”

“I don’t know, Y/N,” she trailed off. “I mean, you have to ask yourself why you slept with him after all these years of being just friends. Did you really think that you could do that and not complicate things?”

“No, I knew it would.”

“Then, what the hell was going on in your mind that made you think it was a good idea?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to be there for him, and that’s what he needed to move on.”

“Really? Because, I like to think that I’m a good friend too… but I definitely have my limits on what I’ll do for my friends.”

“Thank you for reminding me of what a terrible person I am.”

“That’s not what I’m doing, Y/N,” Briana replied.

“Then what are you doing?”

“I’m just trying to help you realize the same thing that everyone else has already realized.”

“And what is that?”

“I don’t know, maybe that you’re just not being honest with yourself about this whole thing.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t want you to say anything. I just wish- for your own good, you’d admit to yourself what you feel.”

You paused for a moment, knowing exactly what she was getting at. You may have gone on for a long time denying your own feelings, but you understood that everyone around you knew better. Yes, you and Rob had been friends; apparently best friends who had both done well in holding back on something more.

“Whatever I feel, or felt for him, it doesn’t matter now,” you replied finally.

“So, there’s no fixing this?”

“I don’t think so. I saw him today and I was so angry and hurt. I don’t know that I can move on from that.”

“Do you want some advice?”

“Not really,” you replied. “I’m just- done. I’m sorry, I just wanted to talk to someone.”

“What if I told you that he should be the one you talk to about this?”

“Then I’d say that you’re offering me the advice that I didn’t want.”

Briana laughed and you frowned, unsure as to why this all seemed so amusing.

“Is this funny to you?”

“No, the entire thing sucks. I just think that it’s interesting how you can forgive someone who made your life hell for months, but you can’t bring yourself to consider forgiving the man that you love.”

“Who said I forgave you?”

“Fair enough. Still, you’re at least talking to me again.”

“Well, my options are limited given the fact that most of my friendships were ruined because of a certain someone.”

You hadn’t meant to sound so cold; but in reality, you hadn’t really forgiven her completely for her part in everything. The best you could do was make the attempt to forgive and forget, something that wasn’t necessarily going well for the two of you at this point.

“I deserved that,” she admitted.

“Alright, I should let you go before I say something else. Thanks for listening at least.”

“Yeah, sure. I’m here if you need me.”

You hesitated for a moment, ready to hang up but unsure of how to end the conversation.

“Y/N,” Briana said quickly before you had the chance to end the call. “Just- one more thing.”

“What?”

“I’m taking this call as confirmation that you’re at least on your way to forgiving me. I appreciate that, and I’m happy for it. I also hope that it makes you feel better.”

“It really does,” you confessed. “I spent a lot of time being angry at you and everyone else. I’m not so angry anymore, and I guess that feels pretty good.”

“Good. So, just imagine how much better you would feel if you maybe really listened to Rob, heard his side of everything… I don’t know, maybe starting on that road to forgiveness would be good for you.”

“You know, I already understand that I am way too forgiving. I know this because I am talking to you of all people. But even I have my limits.”

“So, there’s no chance of you even hearing him out?”

“I just don’t think there’s a point to it anymore. He can apologize, tell me he loves me again… but does all of that really matter? Would it change the fact that he used me and treated me like I was just some chick that he could just call when he needed to get laid? I get that I allowed that to happen, but maybe I deserved a little respect, especially since we were friends.”

“People in love do weird shit,” she said jokingly. “I mean that mostly on his part, but maybe a bit on your part too.”

“Okay, I’m hanging up now,” you replied as you rolled your eyes at her comment. It was one thing for you to be able to work at your relationships with Briana and the others, which had only been strained because facts had been twisted a bit. Rob on the other hand, that had been a betrayal unlike anything else. Maybe it was your own stupid fault for thinking that you could be with him like that without getting attached. People had friends-with-benefits relationships all the time. You had just hoped that you and Rob’s relationship was a bit different. Maybe a part of you had hoped that it could turn into something more. You had high hopes for what that entire thing was; hopes that had been crushed when you realized exactly what it really was to him. Listening to people tell you that he loved you and that maybe forgiveness was the way to go, only made you feel worse. Hearing him say those words only confused you.

After all, how could anyone treat someone they love the way that he had treated you?


	14. The Odds Are Stacked Against You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even when Rob gets another shot at talking to Reader, he fails at it miserably. He’s beginning to think that nothing is fixable, and he knows he’s to blame. Maybe what he needed all along were a couple of friends to help him figure out a way to get to her.

**Rob’s POV**

“Okay,” Jason said as he tried to make sense of everything that Rob had just told him. “Let me get this straight. Your ex-fiance cheats on you, you break it off- then you turn to your best friend, whom you sleep with immediately after your engagement ends. It doesn’t just happen the one time, it happens repeatedly. So, all of the sudden, you decide it’s too much so you basically tell her to back off and leave you alone. Because, obviously she’s the one with the problem.”

Rob frowned at Jason’s sarcasm on the situation.

“The next time you call her, which is weeks after you just told her to back off; you don’t call to apologize for being an asshole- you call for a hook-up.”

Rob nodded, cringing at how bad it all sounded coming from someone else.

“And you’re wondering why she’s pissed off?”

“I know why she is,” he replied. “Trust me, I get it now.”

“Man, you can’t sleep with a girl that you’re in love with and pretend that it means nothing. Even more, you can’t think that it means nothing to her.”

“It didn’t. I mean, I know she doesn’t feel the same way… and that was the worst of it. She’s angry with me because I used her.”

“What do you mean?” Jason asked. “She’s always been in love with you.”

Rob darted is eyes up to meet Jason’s.

“What?”

“You knew, right? The rest of us sorta knew.”

“You’re wrong,” Rob replied. He ran his hands through his hair, letting out a deep breath of frustration. “It’s the whole reason I fucked everything up to begin with. I couldn’t have her, so I tried to move on. I messed that whole thing up and now I’m just ruining her life.”

“You have got to fix this,” Jason stated. “I don’t care what you have to do to make that happen, but you do it. I am tired of listening to you cry about this, and I am even more tired of seeing how sad she is all the time.”

“I tried,” Rob replied. He was defeated. He was out of options now. He had his chance, and he had barely said a fraction of what he really wanted to say to her. He replayed it in his mind; the ‘I love you’ and the ‘I’m sorry’, which had been the only words he could muster as he was standing in front of her. It had been the look of complete devastation on her face that threw him off; it had been how he actually had to witness her tears that made him freeze. He knew he should have convinced her to stay and listen to him; but all he could do was let her go when she practically begged him to just stop.

“Then try again,” Jason said. “Keep trying until something works.”

“What do you expect me to do?”

“You get another chance to talk to her, and you and you take that chance this time.”

“How? When?” Rob asked. He knew that he didn’t have any more shots at this. She was actively avoiding him, and doing pretty well with it.

“At our show next week.” Jason caught himself as he said it. Rob figured that he wished he hadn’t even thought of it, because he was now looking regretful.

“Who’s gonna make that happen?” Rob asked.

Jason shrugged, “I guess I am.”

“I thought you were staying out of it from now on.”

“I thought I was too,” he smiled. “But I think I’m in pretty deep.”

“You know, you’re a good friend. I don’t know how you plan to get her there, but I would really appreciate it.”

“Yeah, well, I might have a little something up my sleeve. She’s going to hate me.”

* * *

**Reader’s POV**

You avoided the studio for a while until you were completely sure that Jason wouldn’t set you up for a situation like that again. He had vehemently denied that he had anything to do with Rob showing up like that, but you knew better. While no one else really gave a crap about what you were feeling lately, or that you had sort of disappeared from everything; Jason never let it be unknown that he disapproved of the fact that you and Rob were no longer speaking. You never did give him details, but you also knew that he obviously still talked to Rob. God only knows what he had heard from him during this entire thing.

Your only focus now was on what you had set out to do; make this album.

Even as you finally made your way back to work on it, despite the fact that you weren’t quite over what had happened before, you were determined to remain professional. Jason had gone out of his way to apologize; not before throwing it out there that maybe you should’ve considered listening to Rob. After you had made it clear to him that you weren’t here to discuss your personal life with him any further, he seemed to back down a bit. You had indulged him with just a smidgen of information, and you realized that it had been too much. The best thing to do at this point was to make it be known that the topic was no longer up for discussion.

“If you’re not still mad at me, I’m inviting you to my show tonight.” You were done for the day, having gotten a lot of work done already. You smiled at Jason, aware that this was his peace offering to you.

“What show?”

“Nothing big, I’m just singing at this bar seven,” he explained as he handed you a slip of paper with the address written on it.

“Sounds like fun,” you replied. “I’ll be there.”

“Really? So you’re not still mad at me?”

“Oh, I’m still mad. But I’m getting over it pretty quickly because you have such a cute face.” You reached out to pinch his cheek, causing him to groan as he pulled away from you.

“I didn’t even do anything, just to remind you.”

“I’m not an idiot,” you replied. “You can keep saying that you had nothing to do with it, but I know better.”

* * *

When you arrived at the bar, you realized that Jason was a lot more conniving than you originally thought. You had shown up very late (traffic was a bitch in this city) and you were sure that you had caught the tail-end of the show.. When you finally did walk into the bar, you were sort of surprised to find that the man had definitely set you up. You stood in the back for a moment, watching as his band played on stage. You were under the impression that you were catching a solo performance tonight, but you realized that Jason had never actually said that. Instead, he had tricked you into walking in on a show being held by his band, The Station Breaks.

Your eyes scanned the stage; taking note of the band that was playing a big part in the production of your album, Jason who had turned out to be a lot trickier than you expected, and of course, Rob. The one person that you really didn’t want to see. You considered walking out right then to avoid the possibility of Rob approaching you again, but a bigger part of you wanted to stick around so that you could tell Jason that none of this was okay and that he needed to back off.

You went to the bar, taking a seat and ordering a drink while you listened to the band play. You didn’t look over to the stage again, it was too difficult to see Rob there. Even hearing his voice was a lot to handle.

As the band exited the stage after their set, Jason quickly made his way right to you.

“Hey, you made it.”

“I did. You’re lucky I stuck around. Or, maybe you’re very unlucky that I did; because it’s taking every ounce of self-restraint that I have to not pour my drink on you.”

“Look, I know it was shitty of me. But, the two of you really need to talk. He’s trying but you’re not letting him.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Except for the fact that you can’t just stay out of it.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to help a friend out.”

“Oh I see,” you replied as you glanced over at Rob. “Give up one friend to help another out. I didn’t think you’d be that guy.”

You stood up then, downing the rest of your drink in one go.

“When we’re done with the album, we can just go back to not knowing each other.”

“Really? You’re breaking up with me just because I want the two of you to work this out.”

You smirked at him, not saying another word as you headed for the door.

You had nearly made it down the block when you were finally aware of the sound of someone calling out to you from where you had just left. You stopped with a sigh, turning around with the expectation of seeing Jason chasing after you.

You should have known that it would be Rob again. Even after you had asked him to just stop, here he was again.

You turned from him and started to walk away again, only to have him shout your name just a bit louder as you did so.

“What do you want?” You cried out finally. You spun your body to face him again, just as he was within arms reach of you. You felt your face heat up out of sheer anger. Why wouldn’t he just leave you alone?

“I just want to talk to you,” he breathed. He stood in front of you, studying you as he waited for you to decide if you would at least give him that. You didn’t want to. You were tired of him thinking that he could constantly ask you to listen to him when he never once took a second to listen to you when you needed him to hear you the most. He wasn’t giving up though; and you knew that he mostly likely wouldn’t ever give up, not when you were the one who was making sure that you got the last word in.

“Fine,” you said firmly. “Speak. Tell me what it is that you think you need to tell me.”

Rob visibly froze. He had been bothering you for a long time to convince you to listen to him finally. Maybe he just never expected your to actually give in, because now that you were demanding for him to just say what he needed to say already, you realized that he probably really didn’t know what he wanted to say.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” you said as you caught on to the fact that he realized he was being called out. You turned away from him, ready to bolt again. It never did get any easier to be near him. Just having him be in such close proximity elicited a string of emotions that you weren’t used to. You were pissed, sure. Pissed that he had the audacity to call you a friend, yet use you the way that he had before dropping you. He had promised that what went on between the two of you while he was dealing with what had happened with his ex would never complicate things, but he had lied right to your face. Mostly, you were humiliated. You were embarrassed that you had allowed this to even happen in the first place. Humiliated that you thought even for one brief moment that maybe this could have been more. Finally, you were sad. You were sad because you had kept the way you felt for him bottled up for so long; and when you did finally think that the two of you could be more, he was there to remind you that you were nothing to him.

“No, please, wait,” he said as he reached out to take a firm grip on your arm. You pulled away from him quickly, even more upset by the physical contact.

“You don’t get to do this,” you reminded him. The tears that had been constantly present fell down your face as you spoke. “You can’t treat me the way that you did and think that you can come back for more. I can’t do it.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m not here because of that. I’m here because I made a terrible mistake, and I have to fix it.”

“How do you expect to fix the fact that you hurt me? You used me. You didn’t even care enough about me to stop the fact that our friends… your friends, were so horrible to me. You got what you wanted and you got to walk away. Please, let me keep just a shred of decency for myself by letting me walk away now.”

“You’ve got it so wrong-” You swear you could see a hint of sadness in his expression. But, even seeing him looking hurt didn’t make you feel any better.

“I know exactly what it is, Rob! I get it! You needed someone to help you forget. I hope I was able to help you out in that sense; but that doesn’t mean you can come back and try to talk me into your bed again. I’m the one who made the mistake. I should have said no. I should have been the one to draw a line when I knew damn well that this was going to ruin everything.”

“Can I please just explain things to you?”

“No, I’m done with your reasoning and explanations. Listening to you is what got me in this mess in the first place.”

You turned from him again, stopping to face him only briefly when you remembered that you had one thing that you had been wanting to say to him.

“Oh, and I never did get the chance to tell you; but you fucking suck for taking my song. Don’t act like you care about me at all when you’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t.”

* * *

**Rob’s POV**

“You know, I went out of my way to make this happen again. This was the second time that I broke her trust so that you could have a chance to talk to her. Now, she hates me and you still failed.” Jason was especially pouty right now. The last thing that he wanted was to be involved in this mess at all. Yet, here he was, siding with Rob even if he was a complete idiot.

“I appreciate it man, I really do. I’m sorry that I’m the reason she doesn’t trust you now.”

“Did you at least get to say anything? What did she say? Something had to have come out of all of this.”

“She’s pissed about the song,” Rob began. “Like, the entire conversation she was pissed; but the song just tipped it over the edge. It’s a fucking song.”

“You’re an idiot. It was never about the song. It was about the way you treated her. It sounds to me like you used her, knowing damn well that she was apprehensive about it all. Why do you think she gave in? Because she’s that good of a friend? Will you please listen when I tell you that she fucking loves you? She always has. But, you took what you wanted from her and just flat out ignored her. Imagine how that feels for her. The song… that was just the tipping point. She’s been doing that song for years; and better than you I might add. Taking that from her only proved to her that you have no interest in how she feels.”

“I chose that song; which, by the way, you didn’t stop me from choosing, because it makes me think of her. It helped me to remember a time before everything got fucked up. So please don’t sit here and tell me that I don’t care about her.”

“That sounds nice and all,’ Jason chuckled. “But you forget one very important thing here.”

“What’s that?”

“That you’re pretty damn okay with telling everyone else how you feel, but you suck at telling her.”

“She won’t listen to me. I’ve tried to tell her. I’ve tried so many times and she doesn’t want to hear it.”

“Then you’re not trying hard enough,” Ruth chimed in. Rob glanced over to her, having almost forgotten that she had been there the entire time. Even when Y/N had shown up at the bar, Ruth chose to keep herself out of sight. The three of them had conspired the entire thing, and Ruth wanted to remain anonymous; especially since she was the only one that Y/N trusted at this point.

“I did what I could. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.”

“You and Y/N? Not meant to be? What world are you living in?”

“The real world. The world where not everything works out, and sometimes you end up miserable and alone.”

Ruth rolled her eyes at him.

“What?” Rob asked defensively. “Do you have the answers? Because I am out of options. I don’t know what else to do.”

“Are you really still set on possibly fixing things with her? Do you think it’s still worth it?”

“Of course she’s worth it. She always has been. Do you realize that I ruined my engagement because I couldn’t stop myself from loving her?”

“I realize. I also know that you managed that whole thing real well.”

“Look, if you’re just here to remind me of what an idiot I am, stop. I’m fully aware of how badly I fucked everything up.”

“I’m not here for that. I’m here to help you.”

“How are you going to help me? Why are you even considering helping me?”

“I only want to help because I know what Y/N has been feeling through all of this. She doesn’t hate you; she loves you. That’s why she’s having such a hard time dealing with the way you’ve treated her. She knows it would be easier on her heart if she did hate you, but the problem is that she can’t bring herself to hate you.”

“I want to fix this. I don’t want her to be hurt anymore, even if it means I need to stay away for that to happen. But, I still need to explain things to her. I need her to know why this happened, and why I acted like an asshole.”

“Okay then,” Ruth replied with a smile. “Let’s try to fix this.”

“How?”

“I mean, I guess we could trick her into being in the same space as you again. Maybe throw a party and lock the two of you in a room together until she at least hears you out.” Jason stroked his beard, staring up at the ceiling in contemplation.

“Yeah, because that’s not stalkery either,” Rob said, reminding him of the last time he they had done something similar.

“No, you don’t need to do all of that,” Ruth replied. “But, if I know Y/N, and I think I do, there might be one thing that could work. At least enough for her to consider listening.”

“What?” Rob asked. “I’ll do anything.”

“A grand gesture,” she responded with a smile.


	15. What You Had and What You Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Jason’s record release party, Rob’s got a few tricks up his sleeve to get Reader to finally hear him out. She has to give in to at least one of his gestures, right?

**Reader’s POV**

You were getting pretty tired of avoiding all of the people that you thought were your friends. Jason had played an unexpected part in the continuation of things going south. You knew that nothing was fixable between you and Rob; you only wished that everyone else could see that. There was nothing that he could say to you that would make any of this better.

You had to keep a professional relationship with Jason still. Your album wasn’t quite done; and of course, there was the impending record release party that he had planned for his latest covers album. You knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later, and you also knew that this meant you would most likely have to share the same space with your estranged friends as well as Rob.

When the time actually came, you did all you could to get out of it. You didn’t want to be around Rob especially if it could be avoided. Unfortunately, the two of you still managed to share some friends. No matter how upset you were with Jason, you knew that he had meant well by intervening. It wasn’t in your nature to stay angry at him of all people.

You showed up at the club as scheduled. You were nervous and extremely tired. Things had been building up and you hadn’t properly dealt with any of it. You scanned the room, noticing that everyone who had recorded for the album was there. You decided to approach Briana first. Yes, she had been the worst, but the two of you were trying to work through your falling out regardless.

“Y/N!” She exclaimed, a big smile forming on her face when she noticed you. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

“Trust me, I didn’t want to.”

“Oh?”

“I mean, of course I wanted to. I just wish things weren’t the way they are. Now I just feel uncomfortable here.”

“You and Rob still haven’t talked?” She asked.

“No. We’re not going to.”

“Okay, that’s okay,” she shrugged. “Still, you’ve pretty much forgiven the rest of us who fucked you over. I’m maybe a little surprised you haven’t forgiven him yet.”

“It’s a very different situation,” you reminded her. You sat next to her and she passed you a drink. “Besides, I’m better off. I’m happier now.”

“Sure,” she said almost sarcastically. She took a sip of her drink and studied you.

“Are my favorite ladies ready?” You heard Jason’s voice fill the awkward silence between you and Briana. You turned to face him, suddenly overcome with a bit of anger at how he had tricked you before. Still, you wanted to forgive him. You told yourself that you couldn’t afford to lose any more friends over this whole thing. That was your reminder that perhaps you were far too forgiving.

You kept to your table as the show began. You watched as Jason did a couple of the songs he had recorded by himself; followed by Briana wowing the crowd with that voice. After Gil did his song, it was your turn. You anxiously waited side-stage as Jason introduced you. You shouldn’t have been so nervous, after all, you had performed in front of crowds much bigger than this one. You figured it was the rest of the talent who had you a mess. You took your spot at your microphone, peering out over the audience when you caught Rob’s stare. You hadn’t even noticed him the entire time up until now. At least he was keeping his distance. You didn’t have much time to dwell on the way you were feeling upon seeing him again. You quickly pushed your feelings down as the band began to play the music.

In a way, choosing to cover ‘ _Dreams_ ’ had subconsciously been a real choice that you had made. Rob had taken ‘ _Go Your Own Way’_ right out from under you, knowing that it was your song. You had done that song at almost every SNS, with Rob right there by your side. Why he had decided to cover it, you didn’t know. You assumed it was just another way for him to purposely get to you. It wasn’t bad enough that he had hurt you the way that he had; him taking that song was just confirmation that he hated you.

You gave the performance your all. Most of it was done with your eyes closed as you felt the music. In reality, you were just trying to avoid seeing him looking at you again. You secretly hoped he was still sitting out there in the audience, listening to you sing. You secretly hoped that he realized that this song was for him. Of course he had taken ‘ _Go Your Own Way_ ’ in the same sense. A response to how he really felt about you.

When you finished the song, you smiled at Jason first before looking at the audience. You mouth a ‘thank you’ as they applauded and made a hasty exit offstage. You hadn’t expected to nearly run into Rob as you did so. Your heart stopped when you noticed he was standing right in front of you, followed by a seething anger once you realized it was him.

He said nothing to you at first, only offered you a weak smile as he held something out to you. You eyed him suspiciously for a moment before taking the box from him. Your eyes fell to the box you held in your hand; small and light, covered in a shiny silver wrapping with a simple bow on top of it.

“That was great,” he said finally. “You really kill a Fleetwood Mac song.”

Your eyes darted back up to him and you felt yourself getting angrier. Was that supposed to be a joke?

“It’s not my birthday,” you said between gritted teeth as you shoved the box against his chest.

“I know it’s not.” He carefully pushed your hand away from him, refusing to take the gift back. “That’s still for you though.”

Before you could argue, he stepped past you to make his way onstage.

You watched him and Jason briefly as they went into a Doobie Brothers song; both of them looking so happy as they got into it. When you had had enough of the ache in your chest over seeing him, you returned to your spot at the table with Briana and some of the others who were there.

You managed to make it through most of the set. You were always wowed by the talent of these people that you had come to know as friends, even if those friendships weren’t all completely the same now. Either way, you were in a room of talent, and you appreciated that.

Rob had taken the stage next. You watched him as he tuned his guitar, getting ready for his song. You clenched your jaw, running your fingers along the top of the box that he had given you that you still hadn’t brought yourself to open. You knew what was coming, and the thought of it pissed you off.

“This next song is one that I covered on the album,” Rob said into the mic as the rest of the band got themselves ready. “I was hoping Y/N would sing this one with me. It’s her favorite, and she’s sang it at almost every SNS. She does it better than I ever could. I know she was hurt when I recorded it, and this won’t make up for… anything, but I hope it’s a start.”

You stopped breathing as he spoke. It was bad enough that you were set up to watch him do the song, but to call you out like this in front of everyone had you on edge. You felt someone nudge you and you glanced over to see Ruth smiling at you.

You shook your head at her, understanding what she was silently trying to say.

“I can’t,” you muttered.

“Really?” She replied. “You’re not going to take your chance to show everyone that you would’ve recorded a better version of this song?”

She was right of course. You always did this song justice. Rob may be an amazing musician with an amazing voice, but he had nothing on you when it came to Fleetwood Mac.

Almost as if you were on autopilot, you grasped the box in your hand and stood up. You made your way slowly to the stage, looking up at Rob who was grinning at you. He looked as if he had won something; which only made you angrier. You were giving in to his request when you didn’t want to, and he was taking that as a win.

You gripped the box tighter and stepped onto the stage. You took the spot next to him and he turned toward you.

“Thank you,” he said as he reached over to give your free hand a squeeze. You quickly pulled away and decided that you couldn’t do this.

“It was never about the song, Rob.”

You said it into the mic, making sure that everyone heard. If he was okay for constantly harassing you, then you were okay with giving him a taste of his own medicine.

“You know damn well it’s not about that.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came at first. He was caught off-guard, thinking that he had won you over and you were instantly forgiving him. You knew that he was starting to feel what it was like to be in your shoes.

“I know it’s not,” he said finally.

“Then you should know that this pathetic attempt at making amends isn’t going to work.”

“I’m trying-” he stuttered in response. He made a sudden movement toward you.

“Stop,” you replied. You shoved the box against his chest again, this time with enough force to make him stumble backwards as he reached up to grab it. You let go and turned from him. You gave Jason one last glare as you walked away, unable to consider that maybe he hadn’t been a part of this.

 

**Rob’s POV**

“Plan B,” Rob muttered to Jason.

“Plan B? Really?”

“Plan B,” he said, now panicked as he watched Y/N making her exit. The two discarded their instruments quickly and made their way off stage. Plan B had originally been a joke between Rob, Jason, and Ruth. It was the one plan that Jason came up with that made Rob cringe at how bad it sounded. They had jokingly decided to put that one aside as ‘plan B’ if Ruth’s much better plan failed. Right now, the good plan was failing spectacularly, and Rob was out of options.

“Ruth!” Jason shouted across the room.

Rob could hear the band begin to play just then, grateful that the remaining performers had stepped in to keep the show going and hopefully take the focus on what was going on.

Ruth was quick. Even though they had all rejected Plan B during discussions, even she still understood that it was happening. She had stepped in front of Y/N at the door, stopping her from leaving just yet. Rob didn’t know what was being said between the two of them, or if Y/N would even fall for it; he only hoped that Ruth could make this work. Ruth spoke to Y/N awkwardly, probably wondering why the hell they had actually decided to go with this plan even after the original one had failed. Even Rob knew it was a bad idea, they had all decided that it would be when Jason came up with it.

He watched as Ruth escorted Y/N back inside, walking with her toward the room in the back. This was Rob’s cue. He made his way toward them just as they both stepped into the room. Jason was right behind him as they also entered the room.

Y/N looked up, her face dropping when she saw that they had followed them.

“What is going on?” She asked, obviously trying to hold back her anger.

“The two of you need to talk,” Ruth replied. Before Y/N could respond, Ruth and Jason quickly exited the room, closing the door behind them, leaving Rob and Y/N alone.

“Y/N, please-”

“Save it,” she growled as she pushed past him. She reached for the doorknob to open the door. Rob watched her as she paused, looking at the door in confusion until she began to jiggle the handle heatedly. “This isn’t funny!” She shouted, still messing with the handle.

“It’s locked,” Rob began.

“I know it’s locked!” She spat. She turned back to the door, shouting even louder now. “Let me out! This is kidnapping or something!”

“You’re not coming out until you listen to him,” Ruth’s voice replied from the other side.

“Please, just work this out,” Jason added. “For all of our sakes.”

“Do you want me to call the cops?” Y/N threatened. Rob saw her immediately reach into her pockets to search for her phone. When she had no luck, Jason replied again.

“I uh, I have your phone. You’ll get it back after you talk.”

“You stole my phone?” she shouted in disbelief. “You two are out of your minds! Let me out!”

“We will,” Ruth promised. “But, you have to at least hear him out first.”

“Please,” Y/N responded in a more hushed voice. She gave up on the doorknob, resting her forehead against the door in defeat. “Please, don’t do this to me.”

Rob felt his heart sink just then as he realized that she really didn’t want to be here. She had no reason to hear him out, and he felt bad that they were now forcing her to.

All was quiet on the other side of the door. Neither Jason nor Ruth responded again. Rob could only hear the drone of the muffled music outside of the room. Plan B was in effect, and he knew he had to take advantage of it.

“I’ve just- I’ve got a lot to say to you, and you won’t listen to me otherwise…”

“Why should I? You want me to hear you out because you think you deserve that from me?” Y/N cried out angrily.

“No, I want you to listen because that’s what you deserve. You deserve the absolute truth.”

“You can’t just show up and expect me to forgive you.”

“I know that. Regardless of whether you forgive me or not, I still have to apologize. I made so many mistakes. Everything just built up and I was stupid for thinking that I could be with you like that and not let it mean something more to me.”

“You don’t have to pretend that it meant anything,” she replied.

“I’m not-” Rob began in frustration. She may have been listening right now, but she wasn’t hearing what he was trying to say. Okay, here’s the truth. I’ve been into you since I met you, from the very first day. I thought about making my move back then, but I knew that I was too old for you, I thought you’d be disgusted if I ever showed interest in you like that, so I didn’t. I just went on pretending that I didn’t have feelings for you. It was hell. I wanted to say something so many times, but all I could think about was how you would shoot me down and that scared me.”

“You’re so full of shit,” she chuckled. “You got engaged. How can you stand here and tell me that you were into me when you found someone else?”

“That’s where it gets really fucked up,” he continued. “So I met Julia and things were good for a while. I knew I had to find someone else, I knew that the way I felt about you wasn’t going to go away unless I did.”

“Wow, that is fucked up. Do you think that telling me about your ex and how you apparently used her is going to make me hate you less? From where I’m standing, you’re starting to sound like an even bigger asshole. Now I kinda feel bad for her, and less bad about what she did to you.”

“I loved her, I really did, and I finally found someone who could help me get over you. But, she started cheating and I knew about it. I was waiting for that moment when I would catch her, thinking that I would finally have a reason then to not go through with getting married. I knew I couldn’t marry her, not when all I could think about was you. It wasn’t right, I understood that much. When I left her, the first person I wanted to go to was you. I just didn’t think that you would want to be with me.”

“She knew,” Y/N cut in. “She knew all along.”

“What do you mean?”

“I ran into her not long after… after you and I happened. She told me all of that. Everything that you just said. She said that you never stopped thinking of me. She said that you loved me more than you loved her.”

Rob hung his head to stare at the ground, feeling embarrassed that Y/N was saying this. He had known all along that his relationship had failed on so many levels not just because of what Julia had done; but mostly because of the fact that he never did stop thinking of Y/N.

“All this time, I thought you were using me as a band-aid to fix whatever it was that she had broken,” Y/N continued. “”But, turns out she was the band-aid. You were using her to fix something that I didn’t even know I had broken.”

“That’s why I just never wanted to tell you. I’m an asshole for how I handled all of that. I didn’t want you to know.”

“Does all of this- is listening to you tell me the truth, no matter how fucked up it is, supposed to fix anything? Am I supposed to feel better knowing that I am the reason your relationship failed? Am I supposed to be happy that you’re here to feed me some bullshit excuse about why you never did anything about how you felt about me? Because I’m having a hard time accepting the fact that you say you loved me, when I now know that you not only manipulated me, but you manipulated her too and cried to me about how much she hurt you.”

“When you say it all like that- it just sounds really bad.”

“That’s because it is, Rob. It’s a pretty fucked up situation for everyone. Never mind the fact that the worst of it was that my best friend used me and then treated me like shit; all while he was apparently so in love with me that he, I don’t know, purposely sabotaged his actual relationship.”

“I wasn’t trying to-”

“But you did,” Y/N replied harshly. “I can’t stand here and listen to you tell me that you love me, when all you did was hurt people.”

“Okay, you’re right! I’m sorry for how I treated you. It was never my intention to use you for that. I never wanted to walk away, but I had to. After we were together that first time, I freaked out. I freaked out because I know that you only did it because you wanted to be there for me, as a friend; and I just wanted to be with you so badly. I was right back to where I started. Being in love with someone who would never want me.”

“Your first mistake was going for someone who had no feelings for you,” she said coldly. “That’s not my fault. This is all on you.”

“You know, for someone who insists that they have no feelings for me, you sure are playing the part of jilted lover really well.”

“I’m not a jilted lover,” she replied. “I’m a pissed off ex-friend.”

“You know, all of our friends say that you had feelings for me as well. You’d think that everyone minds their own business, but they don’t. I heard an awful lot about how much you actually hated Julia when I met her.”

“They’re wrong.”

“Really? Then why is all of this such a fucking mess?”

“You should be asking yourself that.”

“I’m asking you,” he replied. “Because, while I am well aware of the part I played; I’m pretty sure you’re the one who took what was supposed to be a friends-with-benefits relationship and blew it up.”

“Excuse me?”

“If you didn’t have feelings for me, then why was it such a big deal that I slept with you and didn’t give you more?”

“Okay, that’s enough,” she said as she moved for the door again. “I listened and now I’m done. Tell them to let me out.”

“That’s it? You have nothing to say to me?”

“No, I’m done talking to you.”

Without thinking, Rob reached out to her, taking a firm grasp of her arm before she could even make it to the door.

“Y/N-” Before he could get another word out, she turned to face him, her face red with anger as she brought a hand up. He didn’t expect it, but Y/N brought her hand down flat across his face; the box that he had been holding the entire time fell from his hand and bounced along the floor. The sound itself of her hand meeting his face was enough to shock both of them. The sting that he felt caught him off guard. He let go of her, realizing that he had crossed a line as he brought his own hand up to the spot where he had been hit. He stared at her in disbelief for a moment as he held his face. Never in all the years of their friendship, had she ever hit him before.

He knew that he deserved it. Their past few interactions had always ended up in him grabbing her when he shouldn’t and her just getting increasingly angry at him. Of course she would snap eventually.

Instead of apologizing again or backing down, Rob felt himself getting heated. All he wanted was for her to listen to him and for her to finally be honest with him as well. She wouldn’t even give him that much.

Even more surprising than the slap was the look on Y/N’s face just now. She stared at him, eyes wide, hand covering her mouth that was agape in shock. Even she couldn’t believe that she had done it.

Rob wasn’t sure what had come over him just then; but instead of trying to talk it out, which had become an exhausting experience when it came to her, he found himself closing in on her. He approached her until she was forced to back up, probably worried that he was pissed off enough to fight back.

Of course he wouldn’t do that, but he did have something else on his mind. She had nowhere else to go, her back pushed firm against the door as Rob pressed his body against hers. He looked at her for a moment and she looked at him, neither of them knowing what do do next. They were breathing heavy, the air in the room was tense, and Rob could still feel the sting on his face from where she had hit him.

Before he could think, and before she could react; Rob crashed his lips against hers in what he just assumed was a heat of the moment kind of reaction. 

* * *


	16. A Lot To Learn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob may have misjudged that kiss, it’s probably not going to turn out well for him. But, he’s still got part of Plan A that was somehow forgotten.

**Still Rob’s POV**

She didn’t react the way that he had hoped. She froze as he held her there, his lips pressed hard against hers. He waited for something, some sort of reaction; and he only got one in the way of her pressing her hands against his chest to push him away. Of course he had overstepped yet again. He stopped kissing her and moved back, just as she had directed him to. His eyes never left hers as he waited for her to slap him again. He braced himself, knowing that it was coming. This entire plan had gone to shit and he deserved it.

Y/N only stared back at him for a moment, and he couldn’t help but noticed the way she clenched her fists at her side. She was obviously shocked and mostly likely furious that he had kissed her. Perhaps that hadn’t been the best way to handle the situation.

“I’m sorry,” Rob mumbled when she didn’t speak. He was sure throwing those words around a lot lately, but at least he meant them. It seemed that no matter what he did, what he said to her; it was all wrong. Maybe it was for the best to just let this go… to let her go.

“You can’t do that,” she whispered finally.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m doing everything all wrong.”

She was still rested with her back against the door as she watched him, her eyes looking him up and down as if to consider what to do next. It wasn’t until she finally reached out to him that he actually flinched, assuming this was the moment that she either punched him or something worse. She did none of that though. She fisted her hands into his shirt and pulled him back to her until his body was flush against hers. She looked up at him, those sad eyes looking into his as if even she was questioning what she was doing right now. She brought a hand up to his face, causing him to flinch again; but she only ran her fingers against his still red skin from where she had slapped him. After taking a second to do that, she moved her hand to the back of his head and carded her fingers through his hair. His mouth dropped open at the sensation and she took exactly that moment to pull him toward her.

He was surprised by the suddenness of her movement; even more surprised by the unexpected change in her reaction to the way he had kissed her. He didn’t try to stop her though, instead he  let her lead for once; knowing damn well that he was doing a poor job at taking the initiative to fix things himself.

This time, it was Y/N who crashed her lips against his hungrily. This time, it was Rob who froze as he considered what the hell was happening. He felt her tongue tease at his lips and it prompted him to part them for her. The kiss deepened instantly. She now had both of her hands on the back of his head, tugging at his hair as she attempted to bring him closer to her. Rob let out a low moan against her mouth as they kissed.

This was new. They had never kissed like this; not even during the times that they had slept together. There was an urgency to it, almost anger driven, as if they were both just trying to shut the other up for once. At the same time, Rob had never experienced passion like this with anyone. It may have been a bad idea to kiss like this after fighting, especially after she had hit him, but he didn’t care. It almost felt as if she had been wanting to do this for a long time. It felt as if every mistake and every cruel word they had ever said to each other was being fixed by this kiss alone.

He let her kiss him for as long as she needed to. He focused on how good her lips felt against his, the way she pulled him closer to her even though there was no distance between them at all. He let her take whatever it was that she needed from him in this moment. He owed her that much at least, even if this ended up being her parting note with him. Still, it was everything that he had stupidly imagined it would be before he had ruined everything. He relished in it, in her. He imagined that all of the bullshit had disappeared and that maybe she wasn’t doing this out of blind rage. He pretended that it actually meant something to her as well.

When she pulled away from the kiss, Rob saw that she was crying. He immediately wiped the tears from her face, frowning as he didn’t understand what was going on.

She said nothing for a long time and that made him nervous. All he could do was watch helplessly as she cried. He was certain that she was still upset with him, probably even more upset with herself that she had kissed him. He tried to think of what to say next. He had to come up with something, anything to keep her here.

“What am I doing?” She asked out loud. Her breathing stuttered as she ran her hands through her hair. She let her head fall back against the door, looking almost anguished over the situation. “You can’t do this to me. Not again.”

“I-I’m not,” he replied. “I only did all of this to prove to you that I love you. I’m not trying to use you. I never meant to.”

“I am such an idiot,” she breathed out. “I fall for this every time. I fall for you and it ruins me. You thought that letting me sing on the song that you stole would fix everything. You thought that you had won, and you almost did.”

“I’m not trying to win anything. I’m just trying to not lose the most important person in the world to me.”

“Give up,” she replied harshly. “I’m not falling for it again.”

She shoved him away just then, trying to compose herself as she turned towards the door.

“Your apologies and excuses are worthless to me. If you really cared, you would’ve tried harder than this. You wouldn’t have had our friends lock me in a room so I was forced to listen to you. You’re pathetic.”

“The gift,” he breathed out. Y/N began to jiggle the doorknob again as Rob’s eyes scanned the room in desperation until they landed on the box. He had nearly forgotten about it. In all of the chaos and fighting, he had dropped it. He bent down to retrieve it, looking it over to make sure it wasn’t too badly damaged. It was probably the only thing that he put actual thought in when it came to the situation.

“I don’t want your stupid gift,” she reminded him as she resorted to pounding on the door with her fist. After a few minutes, she gave up and turned back to Rob. She was still angry and somewhat confused by the way things had unfolded here.

When he could think of nothing to say to her as she looked at him, he silently held the box out to her, offering the gift once more. This time, she took it from him with a sigh as she tried to choke back her tears, and Rob worried that what had happened here wasn’t enough. He expected her to deny the gift again and walk away for good.

He smiled when she began to open it. She took her time, tearing off the wrapping paper and letting it fall to the ground. She looked bored as she opened it and Rob assumed that she was only doing it because he had been pestering her. It probably wouldn’t work, nothing that he did seemed to work. But he hoped that it at least brought back some good memories between them. He hoped she’d remember what things had been like before they got complicated. Rob held his breath as she finally opened the lid to the box.

“Really?” She said as she examined the item in the box. She chuckled just then, an honest and unexpected smile forming on her lips as she shook her head. She looked back up at him, that beautiful smile still there. His heart skipped, his hopes high now that she looked a lot less sad and angry and a lot more happy as she looked at him.

“You remember when we got drunk in Vegas during the convention that one time?” Rob asked. He wasn’t sure if she would get the idea behind the gift, so he wanted to help her remember.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Of course I remember. That was the night that solidified our friendship.”

“Yeah,” Rob grinned. She seemed happy, nostalgic even in this moment, so he kept it going. “We found that gift shop in the middle of the night and the first thing you saw were those cheesy friendship bracelets.”

“They weren’t cheesy. They were lovely.”

“They were lovely, you’re right,” Rob laughed. “You made me buy a set.”

“The puzzle piece heart that said ‘best friends forever’,” she replied as she shook her head and closed her eyes regretfully. “It was actually very cheesy.”

“You had one half, I had the other.”

“And we actually wore them for years,” she laughed. “How lame are we?”

Rob held his wrist up to her, showing that he was in fact, still wearing his original half. Y/N reached a hand up to him, letting her fingers trace along the simple bracelet.

“I lost mine in Germany though,” she reminded him. “Maybe it was a sign.”

That was like a shot to the chest for him. He didn’t want her to dwell on the falling out, he wanted to remind her of everything else. Rob shook his head in response.

“You were really sad when you lost it.”

“I was. No matter how lame it seemed, it actually meant something to me.”

“It meant something to me as well.”

“Maybe at the time it meant something,” she sighed as she looked back into the box.

“It still does,” he reminded her. “I said I was going to go back to Vegas to get you another. I never did. You know, life happened. I kinda got engaged and I figured my then fiance wouldn’t appreciate me buying another woman jewelry.”

“Well, at least you understand when some things aren’t appropriate.”

“I bought these a few months ago.”

“Really? And you’re only now doing this?”

“I got them after we slept together.”

Y/N raised a brow, considering this.

“Oh, I see. So, you bought ‘ _best friend_ ’ jewelry so that you could friend-zone me after we fucked? That’s nice.”

“See, that’s why I didn’t give this to you then,” he replied in frustration. “I knew that’s what you would think I was doing.”

“I don’t understand what you thought you would be doing with this.”

“I didn’t want to make you think that I just wanted to be friends still. So, I just held off on giving you the gift that I had promised for so long.”

“Okay, but why now?”

“Because I need you to know that you are my best friend. But, I love you as more than that.”

Y/N glanced back down to the gift, this time reaching in to the box to take the bracelets out. She held them in her hand and looked them over. When her eyes shot back up to look at Rob, he wondered if this had also been a bad idea.

“These aren’t _‘best friend_ ’ bracelets,” she pointed out.

Rob shook his head, waiting for her to react. He had bought these and had them engraved simply with each other’s initials. The idea was still there; silly best friend bracelets to represent their entire relationship; only this time, they had been bought with the intention of trying to win her heart, rather than it just being a drunken thing that best friends had done.

Y/N handed the bracelets back to him, causing him to frown for a moment until she held her wrist out to him. He quickly took the one with his initial in it and put it on for her before she changed her mind. She dangled the charm in front of her eyes with a smile, then went to put the other one on Rob’s wrist. He stared down at it, heart full as he took in the fact that she had at least accepted the gift. Whether she chose to accept this as a peace offering between friends, or as a romantic gesture between lovers was up to her now.

“You tell me that you love me,” she began as she stared at her wrist still. “But I don’t understand how you can treat me like that if you did love me. I’ll never wrap my head around any of that.”

“I just- I tried not to love you. I thought as soon as it happened that you were only doing it because you felt bad for me. You always were a good friend. I thought that I could be with you like that one time and that would be it. I freaked out when I realized that I wanted you even more. I thought that putting distance between us would make it easier for me. I just- should have considered what it would do to you. Basically, I’m an idiot.”

“I do love you,” she said softly. Her hands moved back up and worked themselves into his hair again and he closed his eyes and smiled. Just hearing those words from her finally eased his mind. The woman that he had wanted for so long, the woman that he was certain could never want him, and she was here at least hearing what he had to say and saying those words finally. She tilted her face up to his, placing a chaste kiss to his lips. “But, right now, I sorta hate you.”

“I don’t expect you not to. I was just hoping that this wouldn’t completely ruin what we had.”

“You know, everyone hated me for what happened. I protected you and what you were going through so that you could deal with it in your own way. I lost a lot of friends, friends that I am only now starting to forgive. I left the show and the cons because of that. You really fucked up.”

“I know I did. I’m not asking for forgiveness anymore, I just needed you to hear me tell you how I felt. I kept it from you for too long, and I hurt a lot of people. I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself for that.”

“Don’t think that all of this is just okay now. I heard you. I let you talk. I’m so confused right now, because I meant it when I said I love you but, I’m still so angry with you. I’m still pissed that you took my song.” She stared at him, her eyes pleading silently with him.

It never was about the song, he knew that now. The song was only a representation of the other things that he had taken from her so carelessly. She was still angry because she felt that she had been used by someone that she loved and trusted. Rob supposed that maybe he had done exactly that without meaning to. It was never his intention, and now at least he had a chance at making her see that.

“All I wanted was for you to listen to me. I just needed you to know.”

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive you,” she replied thoughtfully. “I don’t know if I can trust you again. But, I also know that I made mistakes too.”

“No, you didn’t-” Rob began until she cut him off.

“Yes, I did. I made the mistake of thinking that being with you meant more than it really did. I thought that maybe something else could be there between us. You were right; I took something that was nothing and made it into more than what it was.”

“It meant so much more to me than you think.”

“I didn’t know that. I just went on believing that you got what you wanted and dropped me.”

“I should have told you,” Rob replied. He moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to him. He pressed his forehead against hers and he relaxed when he realized that she wasn’t denying him this moment. “I’m so sorry for not telling you.”

“I forgive you for that,” she said with a smile.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, I sort of did the same exact thing to you, right? Neither of us said anything. While I know it’s going to be hard to forgive you for everything, I don’t want to go on hating you.”

Rob nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. He understood that he had made a mess of things. He had hurt the people that he cared about the most while he selfishly tried to avoid responsibility for the way things had gone. He was just grateful that it sounded as if he had a chance to at least make things right.

“I’ll do anything,” he replied. “Even if it just means I only get to keep you as a friend.”

“Well, I think we both know that we can never go back to that.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug, “I don’t have all the answers.”

“Then, I think we’ve got a lot to talk about still.”

“Yeah,” she replied softly. “We’ve got time.”

* * *

Ruth finally unlocked the door when she heard Rob’s voice call out to her from inside the room. The two of them emerged, looking a lot less irritated with each other, and a lot more at peace. Neither of them were yelling at each other, neither of them were crying, they only smiled softly at their friends. Rob knew that nothing was repaired yet, but they at least had a fighting chance.

“So?” Ruth asked as her eyes darted between them.

“So…” Rob began. “Y/N and I are just gonna talk some more. We’ve got a lot to say and we’ve got a lot that still needs to be addressed.”

“But, she listened?” Ruth replied, looking at Y/N.

Y/N nodded, giving Ruth a smile.

“I’m not saying that everything is perfectly okay now, but you were right. Staying angry all the time won’t fix anything.”

“Would you look at that,” Jason chuckled. “My plan was the one that worked.”

Ruth rolled her eyes at him, letting him know that this wasn’t really the time to mention it.

“Actually…” Rob began; ready to explain to Jason that his plan had sort of made things worse and that it was the gift that had somewhat worked in the end. When Rob noticed the look of utter joy on Jason’s face at the thought of his stupid plan having been the one thing to bring his friends back together, Rob decided not to squash that joy. “Yeah, it was your plan that worked, buddy. Who knew?”


	17. It's Not You, It's Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Rob are well on their way to fixing things, or so they thought. Rob is going out of his way to make up for what happened between them. So, why is Reader having second thoughts?

To say that learning to forgive and forget were hard concepts was an understatement. You and Rob had decided to try to work things out between you, and you had left that room feeling as if you really did have a fighting chance at doing so.

It hadn’t been the offer that he gave you to sing the song with him, it hadn’t been that kiss, or even the bracelets that had changed your mind. It was never about any of that. The only thing that forced you to stop and reconsider were the words. You had spent so long trying to give him a taste of his own medicine by ignoring him, you never took the time to listen to his side. When you were finally forced to, it changed everything. Not only was he genuinely sorry for the way things had spiraled out of control, but he was also, in that moment, a broken man who finally realized what he had done.

Perhaps it had been a desperate attempt on his part to corner you like that; but you went on being grateful that he at least had the initiative to do so. He asked you to pretend that Jason’s faulty plan had been the only thing to at least get the two of you talking again. You had smiled at the way he always insisted on protecting his friends’ feelings.

The bracelets had been a thoughtful gesture. You constantly reiterated to him how much you appreciated the sentiment. Now, just a few weeks following the entire reconciliation, you never took the bracelet off. It warmed your heart that to notice that Rob never took his off either. Not the new one, not even his half of the original one.

However, things were far from fixed between the two of you. You weren’t sure at what point things had gotten even worse, and you felt as if you were the only one who even noticed it; but they had. The entirety of the time that you and Rob didn’t speak following your falling out didn’t even compare to how difficult things were now. You spent a lot of time telling yourself that this was normal, that relationships were hard work; whether they were friendships or romantic relationships. You also knew that things shouldn’t be this difficult.

You figured that the biggest problem was the fact that the two of you never did stop to talk about what had went wrong. It had been mentioned in passing; he had apologized profusely, and you had moved on from it. Or, so you thought.

The two of you had fallen rather quickly into a relationship of sorts. Generally, you’d stay at his place or he’d stay at yours. You’d kiss and make love and fight and do all of the things that any other couple would do together. Still, no matter how much you cared for him, you couldn’t help but feel as if you were doing this all wrong. 

* * *

You had made the decision to take a break from it when you found yourself wondering why you were even trying to fix something that never existed in the first place.

You waited to break it to Rob until he was nearly out the door to head to the airport. Maybe dropping that on him at the time wasn’t the nicest way to do things, but you figured it would be easier on you to do it right as he was leaving town for a few days and you wouldn’t have to see him.

“I don’t understand,” he said. His face twisted up into a look of utter confusion as he let your words sink in. “You need a break? After everything that we’ve gone through, after all this work we’ve done trying to fix things?”

“Yes,” you replied simply. You were more hurt by the fact that he looked completely hurt, and it unsettled you that the entire situation itself didn’t upset you.

“What did I do this time?” He asked. He had stopped just short of his front door when you blurted out that you wanted to take a break. He had dropped his luggage and turned to face you, not even worried that he could easily miss his flight if he chose to stay here too long.

“Nothing. I just- I was thinking that it might be best if we just give each other some space for a bit.”

“I’m leaving for five days,” he said, reminding you of the fact that he and his band were doing a short tour on the east coast. “How much more space do you need?”

“I shouldn’t have said anything-” you muttered when you realized that this was possibly going to turn into another argument. This was the basis of the problem now. Not only had the two of you decided to jump right into a relationship when you realized you wanted to repair things, but it had very quickly turned into the sort of relationship that you weren’t ready for. It was hard to rationalize in your own mind how you felt about all of it, so of course it made no sense to him. In turn, this meant that the two of you were usually arguing over everything. It was as if you had been lovers who had been torn apart by something, and had decided to try to make it work anyway, even though you were both holding onto old grudges.

In reality, that’s not what it had been, and now you just assumed that the two of you moved through life being completely confused as to what you were doing.

“No, I want you to tell me things, Y/N,” he insisted as he took a step toward you. He reached up to caress your face and you couldn’t help but look into his eyes. “If you’re having second thoughts about us, I have to know. I have to know what I did wrong this time so I can fix it.”

You felt your heart sink as he said it. The way he spoke about fixing things and doing what he could to regain your trust hurt more than anything. You realized some time ago that he was constantly going above and beyond to make up for what had happened. All of his making up for things would have been sweet if he had actually done something wrong. Most of the time though, it was always you who was still holding onto the past. It was you who had overreacted.

The two of you had never been in an established relationship. You had been friends; friends who had never so much as kissed just to see what it would be like. Even when things had changed between you, it was still never a relationship. You were simply a friend who chose to be there for him in a way that maybe wasn’t normal, but at least you understood what it was. The entire strain on your relationship had been the fact that you had essentially been used by your best friend and subsequently ignored for months.

You continuously told yourself that this is where the problem had started. You had become friends who had taken things too far. You had never been his and he was never yours. So, why did it seem as if your reconciliation felt as if you were trying to save a relationship rather than a friendship?

“I’m not,” you replied. “I don’t know why I said that. Forget it ever happened.”

“You want me to just forget the fact that you told me you wanted to take a break?”

“I want you to forget it if it means you’re going to get upset.”

“Okay,” he breathed out. He pulled his phone out of his pocket just then, leaving you confused as he seemed to be focused on something. “I’m just going to cancel the shows so I can stay.”

“What? Why would you do that?”

“Because something is obviously bothering you and I can’t just leave you like this.”

“Rob, that’s ridiculous…”

“I told you I’d fix things. I meant it.”

You quickly grabbed his phone from him before he had the chance to make whatever phone call it was that he was planning to make.

“This is part of the problem,” you explained. You let out a frustrated sigh, not sure if he would even understand.

“I’m the problem.”

“No!” you shouted in return. “It’s not you, Rob. It’s me.”

He visibly flinched as you shouted at him. A look of disgust crossing his face at the fact that you had literally used the one cliche break-up line that even you thought you’d never use.

“You’re really using that one?” He asked. “As if it’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“I mean it,” you replied. “You’re not doing anything wrong. Fuck, you’re doing everything right.”

“Then I really don’t understand.”

“It’s me.” You made sure to enunciate the fact that you knew this was all on you. “I’m the one who’s caught up on the past. I’m the one who can’t move on.”

“I’m trying,” he breathed out.

“I know,” you replied. “I know, and I also know that it’s not working.”

“What do you need me to do?” He asked. He looked at you, almost desperate. You saw the pain in his eyes and you knew that he was still blaming himself for everything again. You didn’t want for things to be this way. You didn’t want for him to work his ass off at trying to make things work when you couldn’t even bring yourself to give half the effort that he did. Yes, you had been deeply hurt by his behavior in the beginning of all of this; but you also knew that he had been hurt as well, mostly by his own ignorance over what you had gone through.

“I just-” you began to consider how to word the fact that you just wanted this to end now before it had the chance to get out of hand again; but that look in his eyes, and the fact that you knew that you loved him meant that you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt him. “I just need you to go and do this tour. It’ll give me that break that I mentioned. And, when you come back, things will be okay.”

“Really? Just like that, everything will be fine?”

You nodded, reaching out to finally make physical contact with him as you rested your hands against his chest.

“Yes, I promise. I’m just- overwhelmed is all. I think a few days apart will be a good thing for us.”

“I don’t feel right leaving if you’re mad at me for something.”

“I’m not mad,” you insisted. “Really. This is all just a lot, isn’t it? Am I the only one who’s having a hard time wrapping my mind around things?”

“No, you’re right. It is a lot. But we’re trying, right?”

“Of course,” you said, offering him a smile. “When you come back, we’ll keep trying.”

He smiled then, looking sort of relieved that the situation seemed to be somewhat relieved now. He pulled you toward him and kissed you on the mouth, his lips rough against yours. You sighed and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer as you lost yourself in his kiss if only for a moment. You were still confused, but you always relished in the way that he kissed you with such intensity.

“I love you,” he murmured once the kiss had ended. He gave you a soft peck on your cheek.

“I know,” you replied. “You should go before you miss your flight.”

“I’ll see you when I get back?”

“Yeah, I’ll be around.”

“Just- lock up if you leave,” he reminded you. You nodded your understanding, knowing damn well that you weren’t going to stay at his place while he was gone.

You watched him as he hesitantly left the house. You could tell that he had been slightly thrown off by your response to his ‘I love you’, but that had been a constant for some time. You had stopped responding to the sentiment with your own declarations of how much you loved him when you had first started to question what the hell the two of you were even doing. Maybe those were words that were being thrown around too carelessly.

* * *

**The following night**

You were having drinks with the girls tonight, an early birthday celebration since you would be busy working on your actual birthday in a week. Briana, Kim, and Ruth had asked you to join them at your favorite local bar and of course you agreed. Things had been getting better between all of you and you knew that you really needed to have a night out.

You put on your favorite dress and heels, taking care to do your makeup and hair as if you had someone to impress. It wasn’t often that you had a chance to get dressed up, so you figured your birthday was a good excuse.

“So, how are things?” Kim asked. “We haven’t heard much on your end.”

“Sorry I haven’t kept in touch. I’m just busy. The album is done, we’re just finishing last minute things.”

“That’s exciting,” she said with a grin.

“But that’s not what we’re wondering about,” Briana added.

You let out a long sigh, knowing exactly what they were curious about. You and Rob had purposely chose to stay out of sight, especially from your friends’ inquiring stares. The entire thing was a lot to work through, not so much anymore because of how hurt you had been, more so because a lot of truth had come out after the  two of you finally talked to each other.

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“Really?” Ruth asked. “I set the two of you up to fix whatever was going on, and there’s no news?”

“Look, we hang out sometimes. We’re still friends.”

“That’s all?” Briana asked, obviously not believing you. “Because the way Rob talks about it, we’d think that the two of you are in a relationship.”

“If you really must know… none if this is as easy as I thought it would be.”

You thought back to how simple it had all been when you and Rob were busy hiding your feelings for each other. The very idea of your friendship turning into anything more had been enough to scare you back then. When he finally found someone and got engaged, you used that as an opportunity to get over him in a way. Back then, you had no clue as to what was going on through his mind when it came to you. You wished that things had stayed that way. You wished that he had gotten married and never had his heart broken, you wished that he never had a reason to come to you as he attempted to find something to help him move on, you wished that none of that mess ever happened. While the reality of it all sounded so complicated at the time, it was nothing compared to what it was like now.

“We always wished that the two of you would just be together,” Kim said. “You just made sense.”

“Well, it didn’t make sense when he used me to get over his ex. It didn’t make sense when he treated me like shit.”

“You know why he did it.”

“I know,” you stated quickly. You were irritated now. Irritated that you couldn’t even have drinks with your friends without this being brought up again, irritated that the thought of what had happened in the past still dredged up these emotions from you.

“It’s been some time,” Briana added. “Is this really still bothering you?”

“Yes,” you replied as you forcefully set your drink down onto the table. “It still bothers me, okay. It bothers me that Rob and I are trying… I don’t know… something. We’re trying to turn this into a relationship, and I’m bothered by it.”

“What? You’re still mad about everything that happened?” Kim asked.

“Yes,” you responded. “I know I shouldn’t be. But,I know I haven’t completely forgiven him. It’s more than that now. It’s that we’re working on this relationship before we ever stopped to work on what actually went wrong.”

“So you are in a relationship?” Ruth asked.

You took a long sip of your drink as you pondered how to answer this.

“Yes, we both know that we care about; or, did care about each other on some deeper level. So, this isn’t just us repairing a friendship. We’re trying to fix a relationship that never existed. Honestly, I’m confused by it.”

“Wait, what are you doing exactly?” Briana asked, confusion taking over as she stared at you.

“I love him, I do. But, after we talked and we decided to work on this, it’s become this exhausting thing that I feel like I’m trying to fix, even though it was never there to begin with.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We fell into this relationship stuff; kissing and sleeping with each other…”

“You completely skipped the part where you were friends who had a falling out?”

You nodded.

“Now, I just keep looking at everything from the standpoint of a romantic relationship. Everything; the fact that he got engaged, the fact that he came to me when that ended, the fact that he just dropped me like that. I know I shouldn’t, because that relationship never existed. But, I do, and I think it all makes me more angry now than it ever did before.”

“Shit,” Kim muttered. “So, he’s just diving into this as if he’s just won his girl back.”

“Exactly,” you replied. You were relieved that she seemed to understand your concerns. “Do you know that he calls me his girlfriend? We decided to do the relationship thing, because we figured, that’s where this would have been heading if things hadn’t gone so wrong. I can’t even bring myself to call him my boyfriend. The idea of it just, throws me off.”

“This sounds far more complicated than it should be,” Briana muttered.

“See, you get it. I’ve been trying to say that, but he doesn’t get it.”

“Not to make myself too involved in your personal life,” Ruth began, “but the intention that Jason and I had when we locked you in that room together was not for the two of you to hook up again; it was to fix your friendship.”

“I know that,” you chuckled. “I don’t think Rob understood that.”

“But, you are allowing him to treat you as what he always wanted you to be.” She tilted her head and gave you a knowing look. “His girlfriend.”

“Yeah, how the in the hell did the two of you go from fighting best friends to a couple? Especially after all that shit you went through?” Kim cut in.

You shrugged as you fiddled with your now empty glass. If only they knew how long you had been asking yourself the same question. You assumed it had a lot to do with the feelings you were both forced to face when you fucked for the first time. It was never supposed to be more than sex; but of course it was meant to go sideways when you had both walked into that while simultaneously hiding your feelings for each other. You were both just too stupid to understand that.

“I don’t know what happened,” you replied. “We both got ourselves into the original mess, and now I just feel like it’s a whole new mess we’re creating.”

“Because he loves you and you don’t love him?” Briana asked. You scoffed at her, knowing damn well that she knew that you loved him.

“Because I am the one who can’t move on and I am the only one who knows that we’re making a mistake by not focusing on the real problems. We’re not supposed to be in a relationship, no matter how much we love each other.”

“You’re supposed to be fixing the friendship first,” Kim added. She gave you a sympathetic smile as she said it. Of course she was right; you had been thinking it all along.

“You can’t fix something by pretending that the actual problem never existed,” Ruth pointed out. “It sounds to me like he’s trying to make up for being a shitty friend by being a good boyfriend instead. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s not working for you.”

“Oh, it’s not working,” you replied. “The only problem is, how do I make him understand that?”

* * *

**4 days later**

You waited for Rob at his place. A part of you was excited to see him after he had been gone for so many days; but a bigger part of you knew that you needed to do the right thing here. The break from him, and the discussion with the girls, had given you a lot of time to really think about what the two of you were doing. You reconsidered your own feelings about everything, and the fact that you were having a hard time in forgiving him. It wasn’t fair to either of you, and at least you understood that.

You held your breath when you heard the car pull up out front. Your nerves went into overdrive when he finally walked through that door. You were nervous because you knew what you needed to do, and you feared that he would convince you otherwise; just as he had done before he left. You had tried to end it, you honestly had. But, no matter how much he had hurt you in the past, you couldn’t bear to see him hurt. This was your biggest downfall. Regardless of how much you wanted to do things the right way, you were putty in his hands. You gave in; time and time again.

He dropped his bags at the door, giving you a big smile as he made his way toward you. Your heart raced; thrilled that he was so happy to see you, because you had never felt so loved as you did when he looked at you. You also felt the light twinge of an ache when you remembered what you were here for.

Almost as if it had been a natural thing between the two of you, Rob leaned in to kiss you. Normally, it would have been a natural thing; but even you knew that it needed to stop. You froze for a moment before turning your face from him. His lips met your cheek in an awkward movement that caused him to blush out of embarrassment when he finally pulled back. You had wanted to kiss him; but, you also knew that it wouldn’t be fair, especially after what you were about to do.

“Hey, we’re friends, right?” You asked softly as you turned to meet his gaze finally. You swear you could see the exact moment that you broke his heart. Just those words alone were enough for him to know what this was. You weren’t sure if you were more surprised by the immediate look of hurt in his eyes, or by the fact that he obviously knew that this was coming.

“Yeah, of course,” he replied, almost sadly as he stared at you. Surely, the two of you had always been friends, even if there may have been something more deep down. But he could tell that you were no longer willing for that to be the case anymore.

“Good, because I’ve been thinking. A lot…”

“What are you thinking?” He asked. His brows furrowed as he looked at you almost pleadingly. You had been friends with him long enough to know that this look was him silently asking you to not do this.

“I think it’s best if we just stay friends.”

You rushed the words out of your mouth before you had the chance to change your mind. This hurt a lot more than you thought it would, but it had to be done. There was no way that you could go on like this; you never forgiving him, him constantly doing everything he could to fix something that wasn’t fixable, the two of you continuing on with this relationship that never should have started in the first place.

You had wanted it to work, you really did. After all, you had spent a lot of time coming to terms with the way you felt about him. You had been through hell when it came to him. You did believe that these things were fixable in most cases, but you knew that the two of you had gone about it all wrong. Nothing about this was normal or healthy. Someone had to end it. Rather than allow him to continue to feel like the asshole here, you figured you could be the jerk for once.

Rob let out a breath of air as he hung his head at your words. He slowly nodded his understanding; realizing that, while the two of you had certainly crossed the line from friends to something else, you were the one who was now re-drawing that line.

“Y/N, I think we both know that we have moved far past that. We’re not going to just fall right back into being just friends.”

“I think we need to though.”

“I can’t,” he stated simply. “I can’t do that when I’ve already told you how much I love you and I’ve heard you tell me the same. I can’t be friends when we’ve pushed those boundaries already. I will never be able to look at you as just a friend anymore.”

You pulled back, sort of shocked by the fact that Rob of all people was now basically telling you that he wasn’t your friend anymore. Now, you knew that what you were doing was right. There was never the intention of working on a damaged friendship at all. He had always wanted a relationship, and now that he had it, the rest of it didn’t matter. The entire root of the problem didn’t matter. You felt your face heat up as you replayed his words in your head. Had you been fooled into thinking that he ever wanted to regain that friendship? Was it all just an elaborate scheme to get you in his bed again?

You chose not to blow it out of proportion this time. God knows you were tired of fighting with him. Instead, you stuck to your original mission. Break it off with him while making it seem as if it had nothing to do with him, and a whole lot to do with you.

“Then I guess we just need to walk away from this,” you replied. “Because I can’t do this when I still have so much resentment toward you. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“Please don’t do this,” he whispered. He leaned in to place his forehead against yours, eyes shut tight as if he were trying to hold back from crying. “We’ve been trying to so hard to make this work.”

“You’ve been trying,” you pointed out. “All I’ve done is continue to blame you and hate you for what happened.”

“I know I fucked up. I remind myself every day.”

“You shouldn’t have to. I’m the one who needed to decide if I could forgive you. Unfortunately, I haven’t.”

“Please,” he pleaded again, “just tell me how to fix things, because I’ve been trying and nothing is working.”

“You can’t fix anything,” you replied, wishing that you could just tell him exactly what he should have done in the first place, but knowing that this was all a lost cause at this point. The entire conversation, and the fact that he had just told you that he couldn’t be your friend, left you exhausted and heartbroken. You just wanted it to be over. “Like I said, it’s not you; it’s me.”


	18. If You Don't Love Me Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob is left questioning what he did wrong this time. He turns to the girls, knowing that they they have to know something that he doesn’t. Meanwhile; Reader and Jason have a long heart to heart.

Even as you walked away from him, you wondered if you were making a mistake. The look of complete devastation on his face was enough to make you hesitate, but you reminded yourself of why you were doing this in the first place.

You had told him and even your friends that you were angry at the fact that you couldn’t find it in yourself to forgive him; and that had been true in a sense. The reality of it though, was that you were constantly afraid of this relationship. You were always trying to just forget the past, the way that he had hurt you and the entire mess that had brought you both here in the first place.

He had done a lot of wrong to too many people. The entire time that you and Rob spent trying to make this work had been filled with arguments and questions about whether this could actually work. You could always see it in him that he was afraid; of what? You weren’t sure. The problem was that neither of you talked about it.

Your own fears stemmed from the things that you never said all those years ago. Yes, you had moved into your friendship quickly and with ease, all the while harboring a crush on him. You remembered how it felt when he met Julia. You recalled the pang of knowing that the one person that you trusted and wanted didn’t feel the same way about you, no matter how often you wondered if it could be more. You remembered when he got engaged and how happy he was. You remembered the moment that you realized that it was never going to be you, no matter how close the two of you were.

Even more, you remembered the concern you felt when Rob came to you when things went to shit. The tears and the constant pained look on his face as he came to terms with what Julia had done. The confusion you felt when he turned to you to help fix what she had broken in him was something new entirely. It had taken a lot of time for you to be okay with the two of them. It seemed almost impossible, but you had come to accept the fact that he would never be yours, not in that way. So, when he came to you, the feelings that you had pushed down and hid for so long had resurfaced. That had been your first mistake. Your second mistake had been giving in to being with him when you knew damn well that it couldn’t be ‘just sex’ for you.

You thought back to the pain of how he ignored you when you thought that he had simply used you. The fact that your friends had blown the entire thing out of proportion and shunned you for being a homewrecker was still something that you were trying to move past.

It had been a long road. A road that eventually led to your falling out and, after some time, so many truths spilling out. Your friendships had been repaired when Rob finally stepped in and told the entire truth. Unfortunately, it did nothing to completely repair your most important friendship.

You hesitated at your car, looking towards Rob’s place and thinking to yourself that you probably were making a mistake. It was true that he had worked so hard in fixing this, and you had too in a way. In the end, you both got what you wanted, right? You had each other back. You had the relationship that you had always wanted but had always been too afraid to work towards up until this point. It should have been easy at this point. You should have fallen into this with no doubts and no worries, because you really did love each other. Mistakes had been made. Feelings had been hurt, words had been said; but in the end, it worked out. You both had what you wanted.

You fumbled with your car keys and stared at the ground as you thought. It was all you did lately. All you could ever do was think and replay things and question his motives. That was the entire reason that you had done this.

You realized that; just because you had him finally, and you loved him; the fact that you constantly wondered if he was capable of hurting you again wasn’t normal. While you should have been happy and focused on moving on, all you could really do was question him. You’d sit at dinner with him and think about all of the things he was capable of. Was he with you because he couldn’t have someone else? Was he using you again? Was he working so hard at this relationship because he didn’t want to be alone? At what point would he tell you that you were being clingy again? At what point would he tell you to back off? There were always thoughts; often more intrusive ones. A part of you knew that these thoughts were ridiculous, but a bigger part of you knew that it wasn’t completely irrational.

When you realized one day that you weren’t looking at him out of adoration anymore, and you were only ever looking at him with doubts and questions, you made the decision to walk away. Maybe forgiveness was a concept that you just couldn’t grasp. Or, maybe it wasn’t something that he deserved. Either way, you knew that you couldn’t go on with the anxiety and anger that you still held onto. You didn’t deserve it, and even he didn’t. 

* * *

**Rob’s POV**

Rob had tried to think of ways to get out of yet another convention weekend. He really didn’t want to be here, and that was a strange thing for him. It had been three days since Y/N had walked out on him. Again. He was busy stewing in his own humiliation and devastation over the entire thing, and he really just wanted to be alone.

In all actuality, he should have known right away that something was wrong. Maybe he did know, but he tried to tell himself that he was being paranoid. The moment that Y/N had asked to take a break as he was leaving for the tour, he knew. He just knew. It didn’t matter that she immediately took back what she had said. It didn’t matter that she had promised that when he came back, things would be okay. He left hoping that he hadn’t screwed up yet again; but spent the entire five days of the tour just knowing.

It was really no surprise to him when he returned home that she was waiting for him. The look on her face when she saw him told him all he already knew. The denial of his kiss, the ‘we’re friends’ bullshit, and the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’; all wrapped up into one final breakup had completely destroyed him.

He immediately kicked himself for not staying like he had wanted to. Maybe if he had stayed instead of going away for those five days, he could have worked on fixing whatever he had done this time. Instead, he spent that time knowing that he was going to return to something that he didn’t want to be a part of again.

He didn’t even chase her when she left. He watched her walk out that door and he stood there like an idiot. He wanted to go after her; he willed his feet to move, to not let her get away again. But, even he understood that she was serious this time.

He did try to call her, to text her within the last few days that she had been gone. It was deja vu the way she never so much as read his texts, answered his calls, and probably never listened to his drunken sobbing voicemails.

Rob looked up from the chair that he was seated at in the green room when he heard the door open. Briana and Kim came walking in, talking quietly among themselves and Rob let out a stuttered sigh. He wasn’t ready for this yet. He wasn’t ready to work and spend the weekend pretending that everything was okay, not when he was so torn up inside and confused. He glanced around the room as the other guys sat around quietly. Most were playing on their phones, some were lost in early morning cups of coffee, and Billy lazily strummed on his guitar. It felt almost dreamlike to Rob. One of those dreams where the sounds are muffled and everything moves in slow motion.

He realized that no one here knew. Most were aware that he and Y/N had finally spoken to each other. They knew that he had finally had the chance to fix things, and she had been on board with that. They all knew that he and Y/N were together in a way that they should have been all along. None of them knew that she had just left him days ago. None of them had any idea as to what he was feeling in this very moment.

Rob noticed as Ruth entered the room next. He watched as she made her way to the other girls and that was when it hit him. They had been the only ones that he knew had at least seen Y/N in between the time that he left for the tour and when he returned. He was well aware of how girls night went with these four, surely they might have heard her say something.

Not that it really mattered at this point; Y/N was gone and he was out of ideas on what to do. But, he had spent the last three days beating himself up over something that he didn’t even know if he had done. Perhaps she had mentioned something to them. Maybe, if they knew what he had done, they could tell him and he could go right back to trying to fix that too.

He stood up and made his way to the women. This was probably really pathetic; him asking for details in some lame attempt at trying to win Y/N back yet again. At this point though, he didn’t care anymore. This had all been so exhausting and difficult. He didn’t care what anyone thought of him anymore. He was perfectly fine with being the lovesick, heartbroken friend that everyone felt bad for. The only thing he worried about was that there might come a time when even his own friends would tell him to just back off now.

“Hey, you all had drinks with Y/N a few days ago, right?” He asked suddenly, not even giving them a warning that the conversation was going in the direction of him milking them for information.

“Yeah, we went out for an early birthday thing. We knew she’d be working and we’d be here.”

“Did she say anything to you? About us?”

Rob noticed that Briana visibly tensed up and Kim and Ruth darted their eyes from him. They knew something.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked.

“Did something happen?” Briana questioned him instead of answering his question.

“I came back from the tour and she… she told me that she just wanted to be friends. She left and I haven’t heard from her in days.”

“Oh,” Briana muttered, now looking guilty.

“Did one of you say something to her?” Rob glared at each of them accusingly, now wondering if something had come up in the conversation that caused Y/N to walk out on him.

“Look, we talked a lot about the two of you. We never said anything to encourage her to leave you.”

“Oh, so our relationship did come up?”

“What exactly did she say?” Kim asked. All three of the women were slightly thrown off and confused by the suddenness of Rob’s questions.

“She said that she couldn’t forgive me and that it wasn’t working. She told me that it was her, not me.”

“Ouch,” Kim hissed. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“Look, I know that I was an asshole. I know that I fucked up massively. That doesn’t give any of you the right to tell her to dump me.”

“That’s not what happened. She’s the one who told us that things were difficult.”

“What did you say?” Rob asked.

“Nothing. She just… went on about how she couldn’t even call you her boyfriend even though you were in a relationship. Rob, she’s been so confused by all of this and worried that the two of you were doing this relationship thing when you really shouldn’t be.”

“What do you mean we shouldn’t be?” He replied, voice raised and defensive. “Where else was this going to go? You all know that I’ve always been crazy about her, apparently she’s felt the same way about me. Of course it would turn into a relationship when we started talking again.”

“No, we know. But, maybe that happened too fast,” Ruth added. “Maybe you should have worked on the real problems before you jumped into that.”

“It wasn’t just me who jumped into it,” Rob reminded her. “That’s what she wanted too. She never stopped it, she never said anything.”

“Look, we get that you’re upset,” Briana began. “Even after that night, we never thought that she was going to go and just leave you. But we didn’t do this. You did this. You did all of this. You’re the one who ignored the problem, thinking that the two of you could just be together as if nothing happened.”

“I did not think that. Do you think it was easy? Do you think that she just forgave me and we went on as if nothing happened? Do you even realize how much we fight? Every day, it’s like I’m working to make up for what I did, and nothing works. I couldn’t make her happy no matter how hard I tried; and goddammit I tried.”

“We know. She knows,” Ruth said. “All she talked about was how hard you were trying and how horrible she felt for knowing that it wasn’t enough.”

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe she meant it when she said it was her and not you?”

“That’s the line people feed when they just don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Well, her not wanting to hurt your feelings is something at least.”

“This doesn’t make me feel better,” he muttered in return. “I was just trying to be good enough for her. Every day I remind myself of how badly I messed up, how much I don’t deserve her because of what an idiot I was.”

“Maybe it’s time to stop beating yourself up over the past. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.”

Rob darted his eyes up to Briana as she spoke. She made sense, but he didn’t want to hear it. He hadn’t gone through all of this just to hear that they were never meant to be.

“Look, I just want to know what was said so I can figure out what I did. I can’t fix anything if I don’t know what I did.”

“Okay,” Kim cut in. “Rob, maybe you just need to back off.”

There it was. The exact phrase that Rob didn’t want to hear. Hearing someone else say it out loud was a reality check. No matter how right he knew she was, he couldn’t accept that this was the end all to him and Y/N.

“She said it just wasn’t working,” she continued. “I’m sorry.”

“She never told us that she was going to leave you,” Briana added. “That was her choice in the end. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

* * *

**Reader’s POV**

You sat back on the couch with a smile as you and Jason listened to the final track of your now completed album. Hearing your own voice gave you chills as you sat there, a sense of pride washing over you. Maybe it was narcissistic to think that your own album was really good, but you were willing to come off as being slightly full of yourself right now.

Jason beamed at you, filled with pride as well.

“You did it,” he chuckled as he turned off the stereo. “We’ve been bugging you for years to do this, and you finally did it.”

“Well, we did it actually.” You smiled at him, grateful that he and Billy and the rest of the talented musicians had taken the time to actually help you to achieve this.

“It’s going to be so great. The fans are going to love this.”

“I hope so,” you replied. “Crazy how much work goes into making one of these.”

“Well, now it’s done and you get to just sit back and enjoy it with the rest of us.”

“Perfect. A break sounds amazing right about now.”

“I mean, the break happens after the record is actually released,” he reminded you. “We’ve still got to talk about your record release party.”

“Oh, do we?”

“Of course, don’t you want one? It gets the word out, gets fans in a venue to hear you sing the songs live, it’s a good move.”

“Fine,” you sighed. “After the party, I get to just be lazy. I want to sit at home for a week and pretend that nothing exists.”

“You gonna celebrate with Rob?” He asked casually.

You tensed up at the mention of Rob’s name. Of course, no one in your close circle of friends probably knew about what had happened just days ago. It wasn’t something that you chose to announce to the world.

“Oh, I don’t know. Probably not.”

“What’s going on?”

“Why do you automatically think that something is going on?”

Jason thought for a moment, probably wondering if it was his place to even say anything.

“I don’t know, probably because you’ve been really quiet today. I know that the two of you are busy doing your thing, trying to work out whatever it was that you needed to work out. I also know that you’ve just… seemed really off lately. Like something’s bothering you.”

“I’m not very good at hiding things, am I?”

“Not at all,” he said with a smile. “Rob said the two of you were doing the whole relationship thing a while back. I take it that’s not going well?”

“There is no relationship,” you replied. “There was… and as of a few days ago, there isn’t.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said with a frown. “What did he do this time?”

“Why does everyone think that he did anything?”

“Because, he’s the one who usually fucks up his relationships.”

You smirked at him in response.

“He didn’t do anything. Aside from all the shit that happened before, he really didn’t do anything.”

He stared at you for a moment, and you could tell that he wanted to press you for more, but even he knew he shouldn’t. You on the other hand, welcomed his concerns. It had been three days. Three days of keeping it all in and three days of having no one to talk to when you thought that perhaps you had made a mistake in leaving him.

“Can I ask your opinion on something?” You said finally.

“Always,” he replied. “I might not have the right response, but I can listen at least.”

“I left him. I walked away not really knowing why I was giving up,” you admitted. “I spent a lot of time thinking about how angry I still am with him. But, I didn’t leave because I couldn’t forgive him, even if that’s the reason I gave him. I left because I couldn’t stop wondering if we were making a mistake. All I thought about the entire time we were trying to make it work was the idea that this could go badly again.”

“What, you were worried the past would repeat itself?”

“Yeah. Like, I can’t stop thinking about how easily he used me and forgot about me. I can’t stop thinking about how horrible he was and how horrible everyone else was to me. I can’t stop thinking about what a dick he was to Julia by dragging her into this mess. I get that he was trying to move on or whatever; but look what happened to them when even she realized that he was doing things all wrong. Look what happened when he tried to do the same with me when their engagement ended.”

“Well, he doesn’t have a good track record with women I guess.”

“I couldn’t go one wondering if that was going to be me someday. Again. I was afraid of letting myself love him when I know exactly how he handles relationships. I just- don’t want us to keep breaking something that we haven’t even fixed.”

“So what? You’re just doing the friends thing instead? It’s probably a good idea.”

“That’s what I wanted to do. But he flat out told me that we couldn’t be friends. Not anymore.”

“Rob said that?” He asked in disbelief.

You nodded, still feeling shocked over what he had said.

“So, we’re nothing now. It’s not how I wanted it to be, but I couldn’t force myself to stay with him when all I do is hold this grudge and keep these worries to myself.”

“Well, I warned you when I said I probably don’t have the right response.”

“That’s okay,” you said with a chuckle. “I didn’t expect you to. Can you maybe just tell me that I did the right thing by leaving?”

“I’m not going to respond to that either,” he smiled.

“So you think it was wrong?” You eyed him as you waited. All you ever really wanted was for someone to tell you the answers. You wanted to know if what you were doing was right, because you were conflicted by your choices.

“I think-” he paused for a moment, staring off as he thought about what to say. “I think that love is tricky.”

“That’s it? That’s all you got for me? I thought we were besties.”

“We are,” he replied with a grin. “But even I know better than to get too involved with my friends relationships.”

“You weren’t saying that when you decided to help Ruth lock me in a room with my mortal enemy.”

“Well, it helped, didn’t it?”

“I guess so. We talked. But now… well, here we are.”

“Look,” he replied in frustration. He leaned back in his seat and let out a sigh. “I’ve been rooting for the two of you forever. A lot of people have. You know when you just see two people who… make sense together; two people that you just look at and think ‘oh, yeah, if that happened, of course it makes sense.’ We were all shocked when Rob met Julia, even more shocked when they got engaged. At the same time, we wondered if we had read it all wrong, you know? You didn’t seem to care, so we figured it just wasn’t meant to be.”

“And then everything went to shit.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “We got to see that desperate attempt from Rob when it came to fixing things. We saw how sad you were over the whole thing. We all knew that you loved each other, we had always known, but it was the mess that let us really see it for real. I think it was the mess that made both of you see it as well.”

“Okay, I get it. We fucked up, and everyone saw.”

“I’m just saying, maybe it’s those really tough things that make a relationship. Forget about the fact that you were ‘just friends’,” he said as he threw up air quotes with his fingers. “Because we know that it was never just that. If the mess hadn’t happened, do you think the two of you would have ever had the opportunity to try an actual relationship?”

“I guess not.”

“No, he’d be married and maybe happy. Maybe he would have really gotten over you. But he didn’t. He turned to you when he realized the mistakes he made, he made a few more mistakes, and your collective mistakes turned into that one moment. That one moment when you were both confronted by the fact that you were lying to yourselves and each other and everyone around you.”

You held back your tears, sort of pissed off that Jason was right.

“What if those mistakes were just too much?” You asked in turn.

“They were,” he agreed. “He messed up badly; over and over again. But, you loved him enough to at least give him a chance to make it right. So, what happened to make you decide to take that chance away from him?”

“I think I just got scared, like I said. I didn’t want to keep going on, wondering if this was all a mistake and it would end badly again. I didn’t want to be hurt again.”

“Welcome to love,” He replied. “It’s fucking scary and there isn’t a day that goes by when you wonder if you’re going to get hurt.”

“Really? Even though you’re married and happy, you still worry about that?”

“Sure,” he said with a shrug. “I think that’s normal in any relationship. There’s always the possibility of being hurt.”

“Then what’s the point?”

“I guess the feeling of actually being in love is the whole reason. You just kinda have to trust that the love you have for each other is enough, even on the bad days.”

“Did I overreact?”

“Well, I’d never tell a lady if she was overreacting,” he replied. “But if you’re asking yourself if you did, maybe you did.”


	19. Forgiveness and New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader isn’t as upset as she thought she’d be when Rob is inexplicably invited to her record release party. Maybe that break was the one thing they really needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBH, I practically gave up on this series a few chapters ago. I didn’t give it as much as I usually do. But… mama didn’t raise no quitter!
> 
> This is a crazy mess, it’s super all over the place, it’s rushed- and I apologize.

You had left your conversation with Jason feeling defeated. Of course you had overreacted. You had known it the moment you chose to walk out on Rob; you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself. You wanted to believe that your craziness was justified, and in a way, Jason had let you know that it was to an extent. He also helped you to realize that no relationship is perfect. Even he understood that the possibility to be hurt was always there. He also helped you to realize that it was also worth that fear if it meant that you got to be with someone that you loved.

You sat at home alone just a few weeks later, staring at your calendar over a cup of coffee. Today was the day that had been picked for your record release party. You had woken up that morning, already a bundle of nerves over the thought of it. The idea of getting up there to sing in front of fans and people that you knew had nearly brought you to tears. You questioned whether you were ready for this. 

You had performed in front of much larger crowds before, but this was different. This time, you had the guys backing you up as your band, but you would be missing one very key piece of what made singing in front of people tolerable all this time.

You mindlessly ran a finger across the ‘R’ engraved on your half of the bracelets that Rob had bought to replace the one that you had lost. Even after you left, you never took it off. You wondered if you had messed up enough for him to finally remove his.

You had left the guest list up to Jason, possibly because you didn’t want to seem pathetic by the fact that you definitely wanted to make sure that Rob was there. You wondered now if Jason had thought to invite him, even if you had specifically told him not to when you offered him the job.

“You are insane,” you said out loud as you thought about this. What kind of person blatantly wants to leave someone out, but secretly holds onto the hope that they would show up anyway? You quickly realized that this behavior had been the problem all along. You were constantly saying one thing, but meaning something else.

* * *

You had invited Briana over that afternoon. You really needed someone to help you decide what to wear and to help you get ready. Mostly, you were still going out of your way to repair your friendship. It hadn’t been easy, but you felt a lot more relaxed with the way the two of you had addressed the issue and just decided to move right back in to how your relationship had been before. It had taken a lot of work on her part, and a lot of forgiveness on yours; but you had found yourself feeling comfortable with her again.

She made herself at home the minute she walked in; immediately taking out a bottle of wine after she had raided your kitchen for glasses. She poured you each a glass and joined you on the couch.

“We’re drinking now?” You asked as you took a sip of your wine. “It’s like, two in the afternoon.”

“Never too early to pre-game,” she replied as she took a drink of hers. “Besides, it’s a big night for you, this’ll relax you.”

“Yeah, I totally need to be drunk right before I perform all by myself.” You took another sip and placed your glass down, not wanting to overdo it as your nerves were already going crazy right now. You stood up and made your way to the chair where you had already laid out an array of options for what to wear tonight. “I didn’t ask you to come over to get me drunk. I just wanted your opinion on what to wear.”

You took off the clothes that you were wearing and put on one of the dresses, giving yourself a little twirl as Briana made a face as if to say, ‘it’s okay, but it’s not great.’ Even now, you could still read her like a book, so you moved on to the next.

“Is Rob going to be there?” She asked as you quickly slipped on the next dress. You scrunched up your face, a bit surprised that she had even brought it up.

“I don’t know,” you replied honestly. “I can’t really imagine why he would.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she began as she stood up. She walked over to you, turning you away from her as she helped you zip up the dress in the back. “Of course he wouldn’t even want to be there. Also, I’m sure you wouldn’t want him to be there.”

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t be mad if he was.”

“Really? Because I’m pretty certain that the two of you should just avoid each other completely.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re done with him, right? I think he’s done with you too. Obviously the two of you were never meant to be, so why bother poking the wound by being near each other,” Briana said casually.

“Excuse me?” You were a bit surprised at how she casually dismissed what it was that you and Rob had. It may have been damaged, but she had to know that even you weren’t completely moved on from it.

“Come on,” she began. “Neither of you ever said anything in the first place. He had a crush on you and used someone else to get over you. Not to mention the fact that he flat out used you to get laid and dropped you so fast. He didn’t even do anything when he knew what the rest of us were saying about you.”

“Okay, we all know that that entire thing was miscommunication and bad timing.”

“Fine, but what about now? What about the fact that he obviously didn’t try hard enough to make things right with you? That’s why you left him, right? What’s the point in having him hanging around when he was so shitty to you?”

“Woah,” you began as you held a hand up to quiet her. You felt yourself getting upset, mostly by the way she was talking about Rob as if he was to blame for everything. “For your information, he did try. This is not his fault.”

You weren’t sure why you suddenly felt so offended by her words. They were the same words that you had been telling yourself for weeks. You also didn’t really understand why she was even bringing it up this way. She had been one who had tried to make you at least consider allowing Rob to apologize. Now, she was speaking about him as if he were a massive jerk and that maybe the two of you were better off without each other.

“Honestly, you two are exhausting.” She rolled her eyes as she plopped down on your couch.

“I’m confused,” you admitted. “I thought you were all about me and Rob.”

“You know I am,” she replied as she reached for her glass of wine. “I didn’t mean any of that. I was just trying to get to you. It worked. Now I’m just tired because I know that you obviously love him too but you still left him. All that work the two of you put into this, and it’s just over.”

“Why do you care?”

“I’m emotionally invested,” she said as she took a drink.

“You were there when this was discussed, Bri. Don’t act like you didn’t see it coming. Even Rob knew it was coming.”

“So, what? You dump the guy for no real reason, and then get all offended when I talk shit about him? That’s what you did, right?”

“He’s still my friend,” you replied, not even believing yourself.

“Is he though?”

“I told him it would be best if we stayed friends. I thought you and the girls agreed with me on that.”

“I guess we did,” she mumbled in reply. “Still, you kinda broke the guys heart.”

You cocked a brow at her, silently asking if she really wanted to go there. “You do remember what he did to me, right?”

“Yeah, how can I forget when it’s all you talk about?”

You sucked in breath, taken back by her words.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she replied quickly. “It’s just- we all know what happened, and it totally sucked. But, I’m just saying, there’s got to come a time when you have to just get over it. Whether that’s getting over what he did, or just getting over him. Because you’re not doing either of those things.”

You had an arsenal of comebacks for that one. You had saved them up over time simply because you knew that your friends would get tired of the way you constantly let the past come up in conversation. Hell, even you were sick of hearing yourself talk about it. You wanted to be that person who could forgive and forget, you wanted so desperately to move on with him; but even you hadn’t come to terms with the real problem here.

“You’re right,” you replied. “I bring it up too much. I should just shut up from now on.”

“Look, it’s just frustrating to hear the two of you complain about each other. I hear it from you, and it’s justified. But, I also hear it from him; and regardless of what he did, I feel bad for him.”

“Okay,” you said sarcastically.

“We all get it,” she began. “Rob gets it… he messed up. He knows that, he’s admitted to that, he’s done everything that he can to make up for that.”

“I know he has. And I tried to move past it, but I just couldn’t.”

“I am so done listening to you,” she groaned dramatically. “Look, I’m your friend; and I’ve been working my ass off to earn your forgiveness for the part that I played in this mess.”

“I know you have, and I appreciate that.”

“So, tell me one thing. One simple little thing and when you answer truthfully, I’ll drop it.”

“Fine.”

“Have you forgiven me for what I did?”

“Yeah, I have Briana.” You said it without a second thought. It was true. While she had hurt you, you had forgiven her.

“Do you still go through each day thinking that I’m going to repeat that mistake that I made?”

“Technically, I already answered one question,” you joked.

Briana gave you an unamused look and you stopped smiling.

“No,” you said truthfully. “I don’t. I know it was a mistake and I understand why it happened. I’m not going through life thinking that you did all of that on purpose or that you’d ever do it again.”

“And you give me your forgiveness… why?”

“Because you’re my friend. We make mistakes, and I can’t hold that over you forever. I would rather have you as a friend than to lose you because I can’t forgive your mistakes.”

Briana sat back, still eyeing you with a pleased grin on her face. It was as if she had just won something, but you didn’t understand at first.

“Forgiveness is forgiveness,” she began. “It doesn’t matter who’s involved, what they are to you, what they’ve done. You’re okay with forgiving someone who is a friend; who went behind your back and talked shit and spread rumors that weren’t true; but you can’t find it in yourself to forgive someone who loves you so much that he was willing to go above and beyond just to tell you how he felt finally, even if it meant that you wouldn’t listen? He tried so hard to make things right, and you just couldn’t move past any of it.”

“It’s so much more complicated than that,” you replied. You felt tears well up in your eyes, wishing you could make her understand your fears..”It’s not the same.”

“The problem is that the two of you are needlessly complicated,” she explained. “You started complicating things simply by refusing to admit that you had feelings for each other when you met. It’s just gotten out of control at this point.”

“Look, thanks for the insight; but maybe you just don’t understand because you’ve never been in my position before.”

“Do you love him?” She asked simply. You glanced up and she made eye contact with you. She was being sincere with you, as if this were a life-or-death question that needed to be answered right away.

“Of course I do,” you replied. “We wouldn’t be in this situation if I didn’t.”

“He loves you,” she reminded you. “I know we’ve all said it too many times, but it’s true. You always were the one.”

“Just so you know, I never doubted that. I just- I was already hurt once by him. I can’t go through that again.”

“Well, that’s part of forgiveness,” she said with a smile. “Trusting that the other person loves you enough not make those mistakes again. I mean, that’s what you did when you allowed yourself to forgive me. I’m just sayin’.”

“You sound an awful lot like Jason,” you chuckled. You thought back to your similar conversation with him and how much that had resonated with you. If it hadn’t been for his words, you probably wouldn’t have spent the last few weeks beating yourself up over the possibility that you had made a mistake. Right now, you knew that it wasn’t going to be much easier after Briana’s tirade.

“I always knew he was a smart man,” she replied. “By the way, I think that’s the dress.”

She tipped her glass toward you before bringing it to her lips. She downed the rest of it in one go. Just like that, the conversation was over. She didn’t bring it up again as she helped you with your hair, she didn’t so much as mention Rob’s name while she helped you with your makeup. You sat there, still replaying her words in your head. She didn’t have to say much else and she knew that; what she had said was enough to leave you questioning yourself. You assumed that’s what she had meant to do all along.

* * *

When you finally arrived at the venue, you were slightly overwhelmed by the number of people there. You were excited to see some of your friends that you hadn’t seen since your convention days. Just being in their presence made you miss your old life. You made the rounds, still nervous over the idea of what you were about to do. Each time you glanced to the bar, you were spotting people that you hadn’t seen in some time. All the while, you were secretly glancing around to see if the most important person happened to be there. 

Your eyes found Rob before you had the chance to survey the rest of the room. Even now, your heart raced when you saw him. You really didn’t expect him to show up; especially since you had made it clear to Jason that you didn’t want him there. Right now, you were grateful that your friend knew you a little better than that.

You surprised yourself by your lack of hesitation in going right to him. It was a natural thing, it always had been. You could be in a room of thousands of people and you would always go right to him, even before you ever admitted that you loved him.

When he noticed you approaching him, he visibly flinched. You offered him a smile when you finally reached him as if to let him know that you weren’t there to kick him out or to yell at him.

“Hey,” you said, feeling like an idiot at how you were at a loss of what to say to him. For the first time in, ever; you weren’t sure if you knew how to talk to him.

“Wow,” he said as he looked you up and down. “You look amazing.”

It probably should have pissed you off that he was checking you out; after all, the two of you had ended badly on multiple occasions. Instead, you felt yourself blush and he caught himself instantly.

“I’m sorry, that was out of line. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s fine, Rob,” you said as you smiled sweetly at him. “You really showed up.I didn’t think you’d be here after the way I treated you.”

“Are you kidding?” Rob replied. “It’s your big day. I couldn’t miss it, no matter what.”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“If you want me to leave, I can. I’d understand.”

“No, I mean it. I’m glad to see you. Really, after how horrible I was to you, it means a lot that you’re here.”

Rob stared down at the ground and you could tell that he was still hurting. You hated to see him so sad. This had been a big part of what had gotten you into this mess in the first place. He had been sad and you were there, willing to do what you could to make his heart forget how hurt he was.

“Yeah, well, I guess I never really stop being there for my friends. Doesn’t matter how strained the relationships are.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t be my friend.”

“I said I’d never be able to look at you as just a friend anymore,” he explained. “I still can’t. But, that doesn’t mean that I stop caring.”

You wanted to talk to him more. You wanted to keep this casual exchange going because it felt nice to be able to talk without being angry or on edge. You hadn’t felt like this with him in months, and you wanted to hold on to it, to see if things really could at least go back to normal. You wanted to talk to him and to bring up the way you had acted. You wanted to fix this. You wanted to have reason to stop blaming him and to stop being afraid. But, the two of you were interrupted as you were now being ushered to the stage.

“Hey,” you began as you pointed awkwardly toward the stage, “I gotta do this thing.”

“Yeah, no. Go. Sing and be amazing. Everyone’s waiting for you.”

“You sticking around?”

“Yeah, I’m sticking around. Only if it’s okay.”

“It’s definitely okay,” you replied. You swear you sort of felt yourself blush again at the awkward exchange again, but you also felt really happy that he was there. Things may have felt off between you, but just knowing that he was there for you helped to put your mind at ease. He was always the only person who could ever calm you when you were worried about things like this. Even now, nothing had really changed.

You turned your attention to Jason and Billy, who were waiting for you to join them. You smiled, knowing that doing this was going to be a lot easier just because Rob was there.

* * *

At the end of your show, you were ecstatic. You had done well and had a lot of fun at the same time. You exited the stage and your friends greeted you with hugs and ‘congratulations’; all of which you should have been focused on since many of them came a long way to support you. But, the second that you were done, you found yourself looking for just one person.

You spotted Rob in the crowd that surrounded you. He was beaming; proud and seemingly so happy for you. That honest smile lit up his face and you took note of the the crinkles that formed in the corners of his eyes as he couldn’t stop smiling at you. He looked like a proud best friend. He looked so happy, as if you hadn’t just broken his heart.

You excused yourself from your friends and pushed your way toward Rob. Once you were standing right in front of him, and you weren’t sure how to handle this, he was the one to step closer so that he could wrap his arms around you to bring you in for a hug. You froze for a moment and he tensed up, wondering if he shouldn’t be doing this. After a brief freak out, you returned the hug gladly; closing your eyes and holding him as you took a moment to breathe him in, to memorize what it felt like to be in his arms again. You had missed this. And, maybe you had held on just a bit longer than you should have this time.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered against your ear.

“Thank you. I never would have done it if hadn’t been for you bugging me all those years. Honestly, I was freaking out about singing tonight, until I saw you anyway.”

He pulled back from you, putting distance between you when he felt that he was overstepping a bit.

“You didn’t need me. You did this without me.”

“I don’t know, I like to think I did it in spite of you.”

“Okay, I deserved that,” he laughed. “Really though. You’re amazing. I can’t wait to buy your album.”

“It’s the least you could do.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I could buy you a drink as well.”

“I’d like that. Maybe after I wrap things up here, we can hang out later.”

He seemed surprised by your offer and you wondered if maybe you were pushing too far too fast. You had literally just dumped the man, and maybe it seemed as if you were leading him on a bit. His expression softened, probably when he realized that you were serious.

“I think that would be a great idea.”

You spent a bit more time mingling and celebrating with friends and fans. Rob had bought you that drink he had offered, and maybe he bought you a few more throughout the night. You found that you were still happy to see him. It was a different vibe from how things had been when you were together as a couple. Even he seemed to be less worried about making sure that he wasn’t screwing things up; which in turn, left you feeling less stressed.

When you realized how late it was, and you made sure that your overindulgent friends had found safe ways to get home, you found Rob once more.

“You ready?” You asked sheepishly.

“Yeah, where are we going?”

“We can go to my place,” you offered, “you know, to catch up or whatever.”

“Is that okay?” He asked nervously. You could tell that he was still iffy about the situation. You had left him with every reason to believe that you hated him, it only made sense that he was leery of pissing you off even more.

“Yeah, it’s okay. Only if you want to.”

You headed for the door and were relieved when Rob trailed behind you. You didn’t know what had come over you tonight, but you were nervous and excited that you were with him.

As you drove home with Rob sitting quietly in the passenger seat, you thought about your friends and the way they constantly intervened in your relationship. During the initial discussions, you were slightly annoyed at their insistence that they knew better than you. But, right now, as you glanced over to look at him as he sat there awkwardly, you wondered if they had always been right.

You had to admit, sitting here on your couch with your estranged friend… lover… whatever it was that he was at any given moment, didn’t feel as uncomfortable as you thought it would.

“This isn’t so bad, is it?” you asked, referring to the fact that the two of you were talking and spending time with each other without fighting.

“No, it’s going a lot better than I thought it would.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I thought you’d see me there and lose your mind. I didn’t think I’d get to hang out much less talk to you. Now, I’m just wondering what our friends were thinking when they saw us leave together.”

You laughed in return, the same thought having crossed your mind.

“I don’t really care what they think.”

“Me neither.”

“I was just really happy to see you.”

“I guess you really did need that break from me,” he continued. “I think this is the longest we’ve gone without yelling at each other.”

“Honestly, that time away from you gave me a lot of time to think about everything.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“What did you spend your time thinking about?”

“Uh, mostly I thought about what an idiot I was. I thought about what I should have done differently and what I could have done better. I thought about you.”

“You’re saying you spent a month and a half beating yourself up over shit that’s in the past?”

Rob shrugged and stared at the floor. There it was again, that look that never failed to devastate you. You hated seeing him look so sad.

“Me too, actually,” you replied.

“I get it. We all thought about what an idiot I am.”

“No,” you replied. “I mean, I thought about what an idiot was. I thought a lot about you.”

“Well, since we’re being honest; I never stopped thinking about you, he said with a half-smile. “I’m pretty pathetic.”

“No, you’re not. You know, I was also thinking a lot while I was up on that stage.”

“What could you have possibly been thinking about while you were singing?”

“I was thinking about how much it meant to me to see you there. To know that you came to be there for me even though I dumped you.”

“Like I said…”

“Let me finish,” you demanded as you cut him off. “If I don’t just say this now, then I might never say it. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I love that you’re my best friend, even if you say that you and I could never just be friends anymore. I love that you showed up for me regardless of how fucked up things have been. I love that we can sit here and talk like this. I think that’s the basis of our relationship. We’re friends; friends who found something more and friends who fucked everything up. And I know that neither of us ever said anything for such a long time about how we felt because I think we were both afraid to mess it up.”

“We did though. Mess it up I mean.”

“Yeah, but messes are fixable.” You could hear the desperation in your own voice now. You had never meant to end up here, practically begging the man that you had dumped to possibly consider giving you another chance; but here you were.

“You said this couldn’t be fixed,” he argued. “You left because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fix it.”

“I left because I was afraid of fixing it only to have it break again. It wasn’t all on you the way things happened, you know. I had a lot to do with it.”

“It was mostly me though.”

“Well, yeah, that’s true,” you laughed.

“Was I really a bad boyfriend? I get that I wasn’t the greatest friend, but I really tried to be good for you.”

“No, you were never a bad anything,” you breathed out. “I think I was the one who was bad at all of that.”

“But, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Do you remember that guy I dated?” You asked suddenly. You knew that you probably sounded crazy right now, but you were desperate to get your point across as to why you acted the way you had.

“Oh- okay,” Rob stammered. “I guess we’re changing the subject?”

“Really though, do you remember?”

“Which one?” He teased.

“Okay, I haven’t dated that many guys,” you replied as you playfully shoved him. “The one that I dated right after you started seeing Julia.”

“Oh, yeah, _that_ guy,” he said with a sigh. He slumped back in his seat, eyeing you. You always knew that no one approved of that guy. At the time, you didn’t care. He had simply been someone to have around when you were feeling lonely.

“Right? I picked some real winners back then. Anyway, I started dating him probably for the same reason you started dating her. I was a little upset that someone caught your attention, and I shouldn’t have been. We were just friends. So, I just picked some dude to help me get over you.”

“This sounds strangely familiar,” he chuckled. “You actually dated him for quite a while. I thought we’d both be moving on at the same time.”

“Yeah, well; you know he wasn’t the greatest. I didn’t talk a lot about him to you, because you were in a serious relationship and all. But, he was the kind of guy who constantly treated me like shit. He was never around, I swear he cheated on me more than once, and he just didn’t love me the way that I wanted him to. And I gave him chance after chance. I let him tell me that he’d be better and I’d believe him to an extent. But, he never stopped letting me down.”

“I didn’t know all of that.”

“Of course you didn’t, I never told anyone. Mostly because I don’t think I ever really loved him; he was just someone to fill the void. Pretty shitty on my part. Maybe I deserved to be let down so much.”

Rob let out a breath, knowing that you were basically describing his relationship with Julia. The two of you really were two peas in a pod. Exactly alike in that you were okay with hurting other people if it meant you wouldn’t have to admit the way you really felt about each other.

“Why are you telling me this?” He asked, looking confused by the topic of choice.

“I guess I’m telling you because I’m hoping that all of that helps makes sense of why I acted the way that I did. I think I’m trying to convince myself.”

“I get it,” he said. “That dude let you down, more than once. You figured that I would too. And I did.”

You shook your head in return.

“No, you didn’t. I mean, at first you did. But all the blame I put on you when we decided to work on things wasn’t because of anything you did. It was me; even if you hate to hear that line. It was me just being afraid that you’d let me down again. I worried more about it with you because I love you. It hurt enough back then even with someone that I didn’t fully care about; I couldn’t imagine what I would do if you ended up being the one to do it again.”

“I wouldn’t, you know. I knew that I had hurt you and that killed me. I tried so hard to not let you down again. I spent the last few weeks thinking that I had done something else to mess this up.”

“I’m sorry,” you replied. “I really meant it when I said it wasn’t you. I made a mistake with the way I left.”

“That’s just so us,” he chuckled. “Always making mistakes.”

“Why was it so hard for us?” You asked. “I mean, why couldn’t at least one of us just say something to the other? Do you realize the pain that could have been avoided if one of us had said something?”

“Back then? You’re right. But, I don’t think either of us are very good at this stuff.”

“Is this fixable?” You asked suddenly. You watched him as he glanced up to look at you.

“I thought it was.”

“You have to know that the whole forgiveness thing on my part is tough, but I was always willing to work on that. It was my own hang-ups that ruined it. I guess, I’m just asking if it was me who screwed things up beyond repair this time.”

“You could never mess up so badly that I wouldn’t be willing to give you another chance,” he replied.

“You really do love me, don’t you?”

“Like, a ridiculous amount,” he said as he shook his head. He smiled hard at you, “I just can’t stop myself. I tried to stop myself for so long, and that didn’t turn out well for anyone.”

“I love you too,” you choked out, trying to keep yourself from crying. “I know that I made you believe that I didn’t, and I’m sorry.”

“Y/N,” he said as he let out a loud sigh. It was as if he was frustrated with you, with all of this back and forth. “What are you doing?”

You shrugged, giving yourself a minute to put the thoughts together. “I guess I’m asking for forgiveness.”

“Of course I forgive you. But, what are we supposed to do with the fact that we’ve forgiven each other?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I guess we have a couple of options. We just really try to be friends again, and keep it as that; or… we can try to be together again.”

“Just friends is off the table,” he replied. “I’ve already said that. We love each other and we’ve gone far past being just friends. I can’t do that. I can’t pretend that we’re friends when I know that it’s so much more than that.”

“So…”

“So…” he paused and gave you a confused look. You felt just as confused as he was right now, but you hoped he was going to say what you were too afraid to say. “So, are we really doing this again? Are we just going to try to be together?”

“I want to.”

“How?” He asked. “How do we just do that after everything that we put each other through?”

“Let’s just figure this out without all of the details,” you offered. “Let’s just forget all of the things that make relationships difficult.”

“Okay, how?”

“Someone pretty smart told me that you and I always make things more complicated than we need to.”

“Let me guess, Briana?”

“Yeah, I should probably throw Jason in there too because he also basically said the same thing.”

“Does everyone know the details about all of this?”

“Pretty much. I had a lot of venting that needed to be done.”

“Okay, so we complicate things? What do we do about that?”

“We simplify the way we communicate I guess.”

“Simplify,” Rob stated. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Good, stay with me,” you began as you turned your body to face him. “What if we just be together and always talk and never make things complicated?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “I think I’m with you.”

“Let’s just, do this for real.”

“Yes,” he replied excitedly. “We can do that.”

“No going back to trying to just be friends.”

“We’re past that. I love you and you love me. I’m done pretending.”

“Fine. And you’ll give me that chance again?” you asked.

“You gave me that chance when I didn’t deserve it.”

“Fair enough.”

“Okay, so we’re doing this again?” Rob asked simply.

“Yeah.”

“This time you’ve forgiven me, for real?”

“Yes, I have. I won’t hold any of it against you anymore.”

“Good. And I’ve completely forgotten about how you walked out on me for no reason.”

“Really?” You replied, sort of thrown off that he had even mentioned it considering the bulk of your problems were his fault. “Because you sound kinda upset about it still.”

“Upset about what? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he grinned.

You laughed in return, having already forgotten the fact that he had called you out on the way you left him. This was odd, this wasn’t the way these things usually worked themselves out. But, it could work for the two of you. Holding true to the idea of honesty and talking to each other, you figured you should get one more thing out of the way.

“What if I said I’m still a little scared that things won’t work between us? What if I said that I constantly thought about the possibility of you leaving me for someone else while we were together? What if I said it might still be hard for me to trust you?”

“Then I’m glad that you can tell me about the things that worry you.”

“That’s a big step, right?”

“For sure. We should communicate. It’s important.”

“I’m afraid,” you said honestly and simply. Truthfully, maybe your idea to simplify the relationship and always say what was on your mind already relieved your worries a bit. You felt that you really could tell him what was bothering you. You also felt that he would listen.

“I am too. We’ve both been hurt, we’ve both hurt each other. I can’t promise that it will all be perfect. But I can promise that I love you. And I’ll do what I can to lessen the fears that you have.”

“Thank you,” you replied with a smile. It was a simple answer, but that was the entire point of this. It was exactly what you needed to hear from him.

“Come on, Y/N, you’re it for me,” he replied. “You were always the one, even when I thought I never stood a chance.”

“We’ve been really bad about this for a lot of years,” you laughed. You were crying now as you both came to terms with your own faults. But, they weren’t sad tears this time. You were happy and relieved that you were both willing to try this again.

“Yeah, but I think we’re getting better.”

“We are,” you nodded. “And we’ve got time to get there.”

“What are you thinking now?” He asked now that the excitement over your new reconciliation was slowing down.

“I’m thinking that it’s a good time for you to kiss me.”

“So, what kind of kiss are we talking about here? Is this supposed to be the first time kiss? The long lost love kiss?”

“Just a kiss,” you replied. “Just kiss me like you love me.”

“I can do that,” he smiled.

You let him lead as he leaned in to kiss you. You allowed yourself to enjoy it for once; to get lost in how good it felt to have him love you. You didn’t think about the past, the hurt that you had caused each other, or the idea that any of this could go wrong. Instead, you reveled in the moment. The worries and fears could wait; that is, if they ever actually came up. You knew you had to let it all go. If you wanted to be happy with him, you had to just be happy in each moment. Sure, things weren’t always going to be easy and perfect; but, right now, you were just two idiots in love. And that’s all you focused on.


	20. The One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time heals all wounds. When two people really love each other, anything is possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a super short chapter. I had people wondering if this series was done or if I might continue it… I figure it’s mostly done, but I also figured I’d do this update to let you know how I imagine things worked out between Reader and Rob.

**6 Months Later**

“Do you think you can be completely honest with me?” You asked.

You had Rob on the phone as you studied yourself in the mirror. You paid close attention to him while still trying to decide if the dress you were trying on at the moment was the right one.

“Yeah, of course,” he replied.

“You can be honest even if I ask you a question that might hurt your feelings?”

He sucked in a breath and you waited. You weren’t sure if your thought was a little too much, but the whole honesty thing and the simplification of how the two of you chose to get through things seemed to be working this far into your on-again relationship.

“Yeah,” he agreed finally. “Even if you feel the need to hurt my feelings, I’ll be honest.”

“Is this what you really want?”

It was a simple question; one that you asked often. It wasn’t that either of you were unhappy by any means. The past six months had been wonderful. You had finally allowed yourself to forget the past and all of the events that had led you to that moment when the two of you actually took the time to talk through things. Life had been happy, and you knew that it had a lot to do with finally being able to be with him again.

“Yes, this is what I want,” he answered. “This is what I’ve always wanted.”

“Is it too soon?”

“Y/N, we’ve been in love with each other for years. It’s never too soon.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Is that it?” He asked hesitantly. “None of that was even close to hurting my feelings.”

“Now the real question,” you said.

He chuckled when he realized he wasn’t off the hook that easily.

“Lay it on me,” he laughed.

“You’re not doing this because you’re secretly in love with someone else, are you?”

You could almost see the look of frustration on his face as he stayed silent on the other end. You scolded yourself over the way it came out, knowing that it wasn’t the best way to bring it up.

“I’m sorry,” you added immediately after you realized how that had sounded. “I didn’t mean-”

“No, no,” he began. “I probably completely deserved that.”

“No, you didn’t. I really didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I just- we’ve been so good at talking and keeping things to-the-point, I just need to hear it.”

“Well, I do have a history of doing stupid things in relationships.”

“You’re a much better boyfriend than you give yourself credit for,” you smiled.

“Yeah, when I’m with the right person,” he replied. “Anyway, to answer your question; no. I’m not doing this because I’m secretly in love with someone else. You’re the only one I love. Now it’s the right thing.”

“Thank you, I feel much better now.”

“What are you doing?” He asked curiously. “You still out with the girls?”

“Yeah, they’re here,” you replied. You turned to look at Briana, Kim, and Ruth; who were enjoying the show as you tried on dresses. Their opinions mattered to you, especially given all you had been through together.

“Have you found it yet?”

“Hmm… not yet,” you answered. Looking in the mirror right now though, you thought that maybe that would change soon.

“You’ve been there for hours,” he said, sounding sort of surprised. “How many have you tried on?”

“I don’t know, maybe fifteen.”

“Fifteen?” He laughed. “I’m so glad I’m not expected to be there for that part.”

“It’s not so bad,” you replied as you looked in the mirror again, giving the dress a little twirl. “I get to dress up and we’re getting drunk on champagne.”

“Well, I hope you’re enjoying yourselves,” he said earnestly. “But I also really hope that you find the one.”

“I will,” you promised. “If not today, we’ll just do it again in a week.”

He chuckled again and you smiled, sort of wishing that he were there with you.

“Hey, I love you,” you said suddenly.

“I love you too. I’ll let you go. Have fun with the girls. If you get too drunk, call me and I’ll come get you.”

“I’ll see you soon,” you replied.

You said your goodbyes and you ended the call. You dropped your hands to your side as you continued to study yourself in the mirror, a smile forming on your lips as you took in the sight of yourself.

“Well?” Kim asked. You caught sight of her reflection in the mirror; her eyes wide as a huge smile took over.

You turned to face the three women, a real smile breaking through finally.

“This is the one,” you said.

“We think so too,” Briana beamed.

* * *

“Did you find one?” Rob asked when you walked through the door some time later.

“Maybe…” you giggled as he made his way to you. He quickly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in for a long kiss.

“Hmm,” he hummed when he pulled back. “Are you drunk?”

“I might be a little tipsy.”

“They really feed you alcohol when you try on dresses?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled. “Probably to calm the nerves.”

“Are you nervous?” He asked. He frowned slightly at the thought that you could be possibly having second thoughts or that you were scared to do this.

“Of course I am. This is kind of a big deal. Life changing really.”

You felt him grip onto your hips and his eyes fell on your lips. You knew that look well. He was thinking and most likely concerned. Things hadn’t always been perfect for the two of you. In fact, you had your fair share of tough times together. Somehow you managed to get through them though.

You brought a hand up to his face, taking a moment to run your fingertips along his beard before directing him back up to look at you.

“You asked me if this was what I really wanted,” he began quietly. “I’m always afraid to ask you the same thing.”

You smiled before kissing him softly. You wrapped your arms around him, resting your forehead against his.

“It’s all I ever wanted. I may be a little nervous about taking this step, but I’m here and nothing will change my mind. We worked too damn hard to be together for me to back out now.”

“I’m a little scared too honestly. I don’t deserve you, I’m waiting for you to realize that.”

“Oh,” you grinned slyly, “I have realized that.”

He smirked at your teasing and you laughed in return.

“Do you think that we’re still going to be a mess when we’re married?” He asked.

“Probably,” you replied. “But, we get to be messes together. I can’t think of anyone else in the world that I want to be a mess with.”

He kissed you hard again, this time taking his time as he praised your lips with his. His hands loosened their grips on you and wandered, slipping beneath your shirt and you sighed at the sensation of his skin on yours.

“I think it would be a good idea for you to take me to bed,” you whispered in between kisses.

“That’s what I’m aiming for,” he grinned. He took your hand as he broke away from you and led you toward the bedroom.

Even in your alcohol induced haze, you noted the way his thumb ran against the engagement ring on your hand as he held onto it.

No matter how many times a day you stopped and wondered if the two of you were making the right choice, that thought never stayed long. Sure, none of this was exactly normal; the two of you had gone through your fair share of difficult things, but you always knew that you belonged together.


End file.
